Monopoly Is SOCIALISM! GASP!

[Fearless]

Now that I think of it, I think I've stumbled across a potential Bill-O talking point. That's Bill-O not Jell-O, although I hear that they are both comprised primarily of bone dust, corn syrup, and food coloring...

Regardless, let's take a look at Monopoly. It's a very socialist game if you think about it. You start out with $1500. Imagine that. $1500 for nothing. It's just given to you, by the bank, the central governing authority. And everyone gets the same amount! Wow-wee! What a deal!

Then there's GO. Every time you pass GO you collect ANOTHER $200! For what? Don't ask me. It's a hand out to those greaseballs that smoke so much crack that they can't keep food on the table! I'll them them a thing or two. It's their fault! Why should I keep giving my hard earned money in taxes to them!

And just when you need it here comes Community Chest! A local slush fund for your spending needs! Clearly it must be paid through my taxes. I mean where else could the funds possibly come from. Just another special interest program for those who don't want to find jobs!

What about Luxury Tax and Income Tax! Profit sharing! 10% or $200 for Income Tax. $75 for the Luxury sort! It's criminal! And you know that everyone lands on Income Tax more often. They plan it that way some how! They must! Who ever lands on Luxury Tax? Only the rich! Of course! Who's ever heard of a poor person losing their last cents on Luxury Tax? Doesn't happen! It's singling us out! Why should we pay more just because we're intelligent and make loads of money!

Then there's Free Parking and it's bastard cousin Just Visiting! Who's ever heard of free parking. It's almost communist to me! Imagine a government run facility interfering in your private lives. Fuck no! And Just Visiting! Imagine! Criminals getting cordial visiting rights! NEVER! It's not about rehabilitation. It's not about fostering the desire to turn one's self around and become a part of society again. NO! It's about seclusion and punishment!

Then there's all the railroads! They all cost the same! How could they? Surely not in a real society. We can't have poor railroads subsidized by government! It's an unnecessary tax on the wealthier stops! The property values aren't worth the same! Who would want to travel through the Purples and Light Blues! Honestly one's Chinese even! They should just knock down all of them tenement houses and make room for my new mini-mall! Eminent domain! It's for the good of society!

And to cap it all off, look at the subliminal message that Monopoly gives to our kids! When you get all of one color or utility the rent DOUBLES! Imagine the audacity that these people have telling us that prices would go up if someone holds a corner on the market! BAH! Prices would surely go down with greater export capacity, streamlined ventures, and greater centralization! Only a fool would say otherwise!

So that's what it is. Monopoly! A bunch of SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA!

Where's it going to end! Won't someone please think of the children!

[1]

1. one word. park place. ok, two words...

but still.

sing it sister!

[Fearless]

2. AHHHH!

[pokerfan]

3. Bravo!

Now do the same thing for Risk.

[Fearless]

4. I could to the KO version for Risk pretty easily...

Something about supporting violence and glamorizing mass murder. Or how the continents are all different colors. What's that all about? Then there's how for some reason it's so easy to keep control of Africa because no one really ever wants it. Or how after North America is blocked up everyone turns their attention to "lesser nations" because everyone knows that no one can beat the US! Or how at the beginning everyone tries to put their pieces on the "good" territories, none of those Asian or South American POS's! In the end, it's all about farming subservient peoples, growing them like crops. Take control of a whole bloc and you get population bonuses! Get rewarded for killing people and taking their homes! OH AND LOOK! Even Risk doesn't think Czechoslovakia still exists!

I guess I have one Bill-O talking point... All the places are called by their geographic non-national names! What's this all about? What are these horrible people at Hasbro(?) trying to do to our children! SOCIALIST PROPAGANDA!

[pokerfan]

5. Well done!

:applause:

[Fearless]

6. Bill-O: And really if Clue was true to life, wouldn't they be killing each other in a crack house?