Don't want to do my homework. Pout.

[leftyclimber]

So part of my doctoral program is putting together a plan of study, where you list all your courses, your rationale for taking them ("because I don't know this stuff yet and I should," however, is apparently not a good answer :evilgrin:), and a tentative dissertation topic. Your committee signs off on it, and you turn it in to the records folks at your college (we don't have a centralized grad school).

Problem is, I'm going to be changing diss topics because I'm going to be changing advisors, but I have to go through this meeting like I'm committed to this particular topic (and advisor -- can't make the change until the funding officially comes through). I feel like if I commit any of this dissertation stuff to paper, I will be stuck with it. (Intellectually, I know this is not true, but I'm still having a freakout because the topic was changed at the last second to something completely different than previously discussed the entire last year and it's a subject that gives me ulcers.) I also feel like I'm misleading my committee by telling them I'm going to be studying X when in reality I'm probably going to be studying, say, Purple.

I know dissertation topics change, I know advisors change, I know committees change, but I feel like I'm bringing all these people in to tell them I'm committing to something I'm not committing to. I don't like doing that. It feels dishonest. And I know this is about satisfying CA, not about me. I just feel like I'm wasting the time of a bunch of really busy people, and I don't think that's fair to them.

I read back over this, and it all looks so petty and stupid, but it's really eating me up. I don't expect anyone to read this; just wanted to get it off my chest.

Bleh.

[WinkyDink]

1. You're not alone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkaViY7LxY4