The RetroLounge Daily Poem Thread (Thu 7/17/2008)

[RetroLounge]

I Love You and All You Have Made

        ---for M.B.

The flowers are shocking on our shell shocked block,
where everything is your doing—the garden plot
you wrested from the concrete with jackhammers
and bordered with cinderblock, the soil you carted home
in the wheelbarrow, the bulbs I helped you pick,
the jasmine you ordered on-line, the rose bushes
you brought home on the bus. I've always marveled
at your passion for plants—the custom made boxes
on Fifty-seventh Street, the hanging baskets on
South Portland, the way that the plants grow for you,
the way that the cuttings hang on for you, years
at a time. The only plant I ever did well with
was a Ficus Tree named Charlie who would only grow
in my room, and I still believe it was because
he loved me. Some days I flatter myself to think
that I'm one of your flowers. Some days
I flatter myself to think I'm not.

Jason Schneiderman

****************



JASON SCHNEIDERMAN grew up in England, Germany, Maryland and California. He received Bachelors degrees in English and Russian from the University of Maryland, and an MFA in poetry from NYU. He is currently a PhD candidate in English at The Graduate Center at CUNY. Jason teaches Creative Writing at Hofstra University and his translations have appeared in Verse and Modern Poetry in Translation. He has received fellowships from Yaddo and the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown. Jason lives in New York City with his partner.

****************

:hi:

RL

[NMDemDist2]

1. OK now that was a nice one

well played sirrah!

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

2. And no feathers!

:hi:

RL

[NMDemDist2]

3. I went back this morning and read yesterday's

it was kinda weird, but a nice one too. did I mention weird?


but nice.(butt?)

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

14. Nice Butt?

:shrug:

:hi:

RL

[Gonzo Gardener]

4. Guerrilla Gardening Poetry...

:thumbsup:

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

9. hee

:thumbsup:

:hi:

:D

RL

[YankeyMCC]

5. Ok I fibbed a bit

when I said I always checked out your poem threads but just didn't reply often.

I do always look but often when they are clearly about love I don't read them lately, I used to read every poem because more often than not I was rewarded by discovering something I liked and would not have found otherwise. But I've found lately the love poems are just depressing me as I work my way through a divorce so I've stopped reading them.

But I did resolve to acknowledge and provide a kick for your poem posts because they deserve it so thanks for doing this even if I don't read the love poems. ;)

[RetroLounge]

10. Oh, I understand...

During my divorce I posted nothing but anti-love poems for a while, and got accused of being too cynical. :shrug:

Thanks for the post!

:hi:

RL

[nuxvomica]

6. It's a nice enough poem but doesn't end well, IMHO

The last two lines are a little too easy, a little too on-the-nose, maybe even a little too jejeune if I'm using that word correctly. I would have written only one line instead:

"Sometimes I flatter myself to think that I'm not one of your flowers."

See? This explains why I don't reply to these threads. I always want to rewrite something. But I do appreciate that you post them.

[RetroLounge]

11. Well, if I read this in a workshop, I might agree.

I'm on a kick lately as far as economy of words.

If the word is not necessary to move the poem forward, or a line, cut it.

It does seem a bit too pat, too planned out.

"A good poet cuts a good line, a great poet cuts a great line." - Theodore Roethke

Thanks for the comment!

:hi:

RL

[xchrom]

7. ...

The only plant I ever did well with
was a Ficus Tree named Charlie who would only grow
in my room, and I still believe it was because
he loved me. Some days I flatter myself to think
that I'm one of your flowers.

[RetroLounge]

12. Hey!

How's it going my friend?

:hi:

RL

[xchrom]

15. hey!

I'm ok -- i wanna sell my house and move!

but it's so weird it makes me nervous.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. My dear Retro!

Nice imagery!

And the metaphors are wonderful!

Thanks, sweetie...

Very cool indeed...

:hi:

[RetroLounge]

13. You are most welcome!

and thanks for commenting...

:hi:

RL