I boil my sweet corn in mercury. How do you cook yours?

[Rabrrrrrr]

I find that heating water to 400 Celsius drives too much of it into steam too fast to do a decent job of cooking it, and I like my corn at 400 C. Mercury is just right for that temperature of cooking.

Then I slather the corn with a 1:2 mix of Dawn detergent and alum.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

1. I like to use

battery acid for the cooking medium and then I paint on a coat of lead based paint and then hand them out to the neighborhood kids! Wheeeee!

[Gormy Cuss]

2. Pack it in dry ice in a cast iron pan.

Works like magic.

[democracyindanger]

3. In a pot of the blood of innocents, over the fires of hell.

Really brings out the flavor.

[MrCoffee]

4. Wrap it in tin foil and pound it into the exhaust pipe of my neighbor's car

You have to use a mallet to really secure it in the exhaust pipe, but there's nothing like the heat of internal combustion to provide that perfect cooking temperature.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

10. LOL!

I am cracking right up at your post Mr.Coffee. That is funny.

[DS1]

5. At Red Lobster, with a baby seals head pushed in the water

as well, because the gaze of a dying baby seal gives it that extra little oomph

[mainegreen]

6. I pay some poor Ukrainian to cook my corn over the radioactive pit of Chernobyle's reactor #4.

[Rhiannon12866]

8. Hello, my friend, and have you really been to Chernobyl?

I went to Russia, with a peace group, with my grandmother, after the Chernobyl incident. I was scared to death, but everyone else on the trip were senior citizens, so nobody else was all that worried about the effects 20 years afterwards...:scared:

[mainegreen]

11. Oh, no. Not at all.

I was merely playing along in Rabrrrrr's thread. The goal usually is to be as creatively tasteless and gauche as possible.

[Rhiannon12866]

13. LOL. I know. But this was a guy who shepherded me through making my first Christmas ham back in 2005

So I take his cooking skills seriously. I had no idea, and only a lasagna pan, but he helped me immensely, so I'll always be grateful and respect his cooking knowhow...:D

[Rhiannon12866]

14. BTW, is that your child? A darling one, if it is.

And I owe you big because you helped my little dog win his contest, through my friend, LoveMyCali, in November of 2006. I lost him last year. Here's the tribute to Meneken, my closest dog, ever. I think I only posted it in the mods forum, but you deserve to see it. Thank you, again.

Rhi:pals:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H64sHnZEz7Q

[Rhiannon12866]

7. Um, my friend, I defer to your cooking skills, but that sounds weird.

What I do with my sweet corn, first of all, is get the best stuff from the local Farmer's Market produce stand. We have really great corn, in season, here in NY. Then I heat up a big pot of boiling water and add a dose of sugar, since that's the way my mother always did it. I cook it for about 20 minutes... I slather it with butter, salt and pepper, really just the best.:shrug:

And I use Dawn for my dishes, since they use it to clean birds from oil accidents, like Exxon Valdez, a noble effort, IMO... :hi:

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. No, no - it's great! Great!

[Rhiannon12866]

20. Okay. You know I trust you, so I'll defer to your skills and do what you say.

That's how I'm cooking my corn from now on... ;)

Rhiannon:pals:

[Heidi]

9. You disappoint me, Rabrrrrrr.

No polonium isotopes? Is your cyclotron out for repairs or what?

[Rabrrrrrr]

18. Polonium isotopes on corn? Are you kidding me? That's unhealthy!!

Polonium reacts badly with starch.

I use it in my marinade for ribs that I braise in kerosene and acetone in a pressure cooker set to 3800 psi.

[Midlodemocrat]

12. I'm partial to boiling it in antifreeze.

Bonus, the dogs won't go near it.

:hide:

[Rabrrrrrr]

15. Mmm... antifreeze, and then smother it in toluene and sprinkle lead dust on it

[Midlodemocrat]

19. See, again, we disagree. I prefer brake dust.

that slight hint of road kill flavor just pushes it over the top.

[LSK]

17. I got all my food cooked in NM in 1945

Although some of it was burnt.

[LostInAnomie]

21. Over a raging baby fire.

You can really taste the baby.

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. I think you win this one.

:rofl: