Woman Drivers In Virginia

[Parche]

This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a Woman In a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph With her Face up next to her Rear view mirror Putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away For a couple seconds ! And when I looked back she was Halfway over in my lane, Still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily.

But she scared me so much; I dropped My electric shaver , Which knocked The donut Out of my other hand.

In all The confusion of trying

To straighten out the car Using my knees against The steering wheel,


It knocked My cell phone Away from my ear

Which fell Into the coffee

B etween my legs, Splashed, And burned Big Jim and the Twins,

Ruined the darn phone, Soaked my trousers, And disconnected an Important call.

Stupid women drivers !!

[Midlodemocrat]

1. What are you doing in Virginia? I thought we had a ban in place.

[underpants]

4. Just a guess

Liquor stores open on Sunday???

[Midlodemocrat]

5. That would do it.

:rofl:

[underpants]

6. How about that huh?

Although I understand that the ABC stores were already open on Sunday down in Hampton Roads because they had to compete with the military class 6 stores

:beer:

That and lottery are RULED by our friends down 64 :wow:

I suspect that changes WILL have to be made. The stores will have to open before 1 come the fall....the Redskins come on at 1 for crying out loud!!!! and there is PLENTY of time to hit the ABC store on the way back from church and still catch the entire game.

:bounce:

[Blue_Tires]

7. cool...so i'm running both the lotto and blue laws now?

[underpants]

10. Yes

:rofl:

What was that again about how you guys were only going to take water from the VIRGINIA part of Lake Gaston???

That has to be one of my all time faves. :rofl:

[Blue_Tires]

11. that was a ruse so the N.C. folks didn't catch on...

no one would be the wiser!

[Parche]

8. ABC Stores Are Hosting A Marathon

:woohoo: :woohoo: :hi:

'Run Forrest, Run'

[underpants]

9. Speaking of which

This is not your normal marathon. This is all rural, not a city marathon. The course is not certified.
You will be in the middle of nowhere all the time with no porta-potties, no splits, no mile markers, no
spectators, and late in the run possibly even no other runners. There are only 6 houses on the course
and they have dogs. Aid stops are over 5 miles apart, so you will need to carry a water bottle. If you
decide to quit, there are no pick-up vans, so you will either have to walk to the aid station or hitch a ride
with somebody. The race will start at 6 pm and the temperature will probably be about 85 degrees with
little shade. Darkness comes about 9 pm and there are no street lights. You will need a light for the
reasons cited in the waiver. If you need to be catered to every couple of miles along the course or worry
running in the dark, perhaps you should not come. We really have seen everything listed in the waiver
except the polecats and they are there too. The drop out rate among veteran 50-milers is usually 40%
or so. Think long and hard before you enter this event. If Lao-tzu were to give advice about this event
he would say, "Come with no expectations and you will not be disappointed."
http://www.theboogieraces.com/BOOGIEINFOPAGE.html


:scared:

[BarenakedLady]

2. Hehehe

:hi:

[TZ]

3. Wow.

Well that explains why traffic in Va is sooo much worse than in Maryland....:rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

12. Big Jim ... ?

:rofl:

[vard28]

13. Gotta be a typo

'Cause I know you must've meant womAn and not womEn drivers in Virginia. :hi:

And are you sure it was eyeliner and not mascara? 'Cause there IS a difference in the Virginia State Code traffic book regulations. Eyeliner application requires that you close one eye, but you keep both eyes open for puttin' mascara on. Just sayin'... :rofl: