how much info does a custodial parent have the right to know..

[grasswire]

...about the finances of the person paying child support? In an ongoing saga, a family member of mine is being subjected to humiliation and emotional manipulations even though child support is being directly withdrawn from his paycheck and sent to her. She's angrily and haughtily demanding to know everything about his finances even though the poor shmuck is paying out 70 percent of his income with not enough left for his own subsistence. She has a well-paying job and recently put in new landscaping and has a new car. When he was laid off in the spring he got behind in support, but is now well employed and (as I said) every month sending 70 percent of his monies to care for his children.

She went to court with erroneous information and had him declared in contempt (he didn't get the notice of the hearing until an hour after it ended), so she can drop the hammer on him any time she wants to.

So, in the normal and usual world, how much personal info should a paying parent have to provide a custodial parent?

[grasswire]

1. I should note...

...that I am fully sympathetic to single parents trying to support their kids and do well for them. I have been supporting this family member in his effort to deal with integrity and calmness.

[The Straight Story]

2. I'll kick it

and share my thoughts in a bit - daughter is heading to bed, and I need a few before posting my thoughts on it all ;)

[The Straight Story]

3. My story (not sure I am answering your question though, just sharing)

I paid my X on a regular basis for our 3 kids. And while it was not a lot as I was low income it was a good bit to me at the time.

She and her new husband adopted my boys (long story, I caved in to stop her from dragging the kids through courts and child services) but never told child support about it - and since it was an adoption I had not record of it (which seems stupid, as I was the one that signed the damned papers).

Over 1 1/2 years later someone at child support finally believed me that I was not trying to get out of paying support and went and looked into the matter.

Turns out I was right, and that the X did not follow the court order to update them if anything changed.

her punishment for it all? Nothing. And I was told if I wanted the money back that she owed me and that child support took from me I would have to sue her in court and if she could not afford to pay it I was shit out of luck although I might be able to get some of her state tax returns.

So If I didn't pay I would go to jail. She lies, steals money from me, tried to extort 5k from me (said she would not tell child support about the adoption unless I paid her that amount), and nothing happens to her (except, well, she died 3 years ago this week - which sucks for the kids, but I still have a lot of anger issues over how she fucked up my boys and myself mentally).

SHE didn't need to know anything about ME and my money, the child support services handled all that (and as noted, it was a one way street).

[crimsonblue]

4. fuck child support

it's called a job, and millions of single parents have them.

[huskerlaw]

5. Wow.

You win the award for most ignorant statement of the day.

:wtf:

[crimsonblue]

6. whatever...

what do i win? a bag of "i don't care?". Child support, excepting deatbeat parent cases (i admit those are complete bs), only serve to screw over the parent that didn't get custody... at least, that's been what i've seen amongst friends and family.

[huskerlaw]

7. Keep it up

Go ahead...show everyone how ridiculous you are. Knock yourself out.

[crimsonblue]

9. blah blah

ignored

[huskerlaw]

10. ...

:cry:

[demmiblue]

12. ...

:yourock:

[eyesroll]

8. Child support laws are state-by-state.

In my state, WI, parents are generally entitled to yearly exchanges of W2s/1099s/etc., plus notice within 10 days of any substantial change in income or change in job/other major source of income (unless the divorce/custody order says otherwise). This can go for both the paying parent and recipient parent (because here in WI, both parties' income factors into the child support calculation if each has more than 25% parenting time). Parents are not entitled to constant accounting; most divorce/custody agreements contain general non-harassment provisions both parties must follow.

I would recommend your friend lawyer up and actually get child support calculated properly...AND a restraining order if necessary.

(Also, please note that the "paying parent" isn't necessarily non-custodial, nor is the recipient parent necessarily the primary custodial parent. In my state, parents can have joint legal custody and shared physical custody, and one parent still usually pays something to the other, based on each party's income and the proportion of time the child spends with each parent. This terminology is a sticky point with me. Carry on.)

[grasswire]

13. well, he can't afford to lawyer up

....and I have advised him to build a history of several months more of payments before attempting to go back to the court to ask for a revision, so the court will look favorably on his intentions. He has been emotionally battered for years now by her, and she is also turning the children against him. I realize that there was probably some language in the divorce decree warning against emotional manipulations. But until he has a payment record of a few more months under his belt, she holds the cards, it seems.

[huskerlaw]

14. Is there a law school nearby?

Many law schools have civil clinics that take cases like your friend's free of charge. He'd be represented by a law student, under the careful supervision of an actual lawyer.

I actually worked a very similar case when I was in law school. Represented the non-custodial father who was paying FAR too much (percentage wise) in child support...and we won.

If not, look for legal aid clinics. He should not be paying 70% of his income and he really needs representation.

[grasswire]

16. I really appreciate your advice.

Thank you. :-)

One problem is that he is working 12+ hour days in a very demanding job. But I will encourage him to move toward that, and I will do the footwork. I'm 3,000 miles away, so about all I can do is research.

[huskerlaw]

18. No problem.

If you can't find information about the school's legal clinics on their websites, call the law library. They should have relevant contact information. They may also know about local legal aid clinics.

Good luck!

[Chan790]

11. It's situational...

in the case of my parents...everything. In most cases, less than that.

It's "everything" with my parents because my father met a lie he wouldn't tell, a trick he wouldn't pull, to get out of paying his child support. He went so far as to give all his personal property away so that he wouldn't have anything for the state of CT to put a lien on when he stopped paying. He hid large sums of money, then petitioned the court for a reduction based on loss of income. He came into some money from a lawsuit (when he was over $60,000 in arrears) and caught wind that the state was going to seize his settlement to pay his support so he used the money to pay off his parent's mortgage in exchange for them leaving him the house. (In effect, he bought their house but doesn't get it until they die...at which point the statute of limitations on his arrearage will have expired.)

So...in short, I guess how much the custodial parent needs to know depends on the gamesmanship of the support-payor.

[grasswire]

15. fair enough

I can surely understand the need to know when people are hiding assets and willfully avoiding support.

But this guy has nothing left after the divorce. He gave everything up -- signed it all over to her.

She's constantly belittling him and badgering him for info. I've seen the e-mails and they are a continuation of the emotional abuse. A real toxic person.

I can only advise him to be calm, not be drawn into drama, and just keep his head down for now.

[HamstersFromHell]

17. They need an attorney

Under The Consumer Credit Protection Act (15 U.S.C. § 1673), the very maximum he can be made to pay is 65% of net earnings (gross pay, minus them taking deductions for themselves if single, more if married or with more dependents), and that only if they are in arrears in support payments and he can't prove he's providing support for anyone else other than himself.

Note that in many states, this 65% cap is the cap for ALL court ordered payments combined, as in bankruptcy, lawsuit settlements, etc.

Of course, IANAL, so he needs to find a good (read that an attack dog) lawyer to go after her as hard as she's going after him.

[grasswire]

19. well, that would save him 5 percent

I read the Title III law, and it talks about limits on garnishments to 65 percent. Part of the problem here is that some is garnished and some other is court ordered for arrearage. I'll have to do some footwork to help him sort it out.