I hate American Idol. It's a thinly disguised reality show turned beauty contest supposedly based on finding America's undiscovered talent. Yeah, right. What a slap in the face to people who actually put their blood, sweat, tears and beers into playing small clubs and climbing up the ladder (well, even then, they might prostitute themselves for expediency *cough* No Doubt *cough* but that's a different subject). For years, I've known this contest is fixed (yes, I really do have inside sources) but I figured this show was such a fad and a flash in the pan it wasn't worth caring. Surely, it should have gone off the air by season 3, right?
No, the shithead parade continued and angered me as it slowly crawled under my skin. Year after year, I've had to put up with assholes at work talking over coffee about how 'talented' some piece of eye candy was or wasn't. Oh, and the very important 'who deserves to leave this week' conversation. Mustn't forget about that! And there's always the sub plots about Paula on drugs, or Paula screwing the British guy, or Paula is just fucking crazy. Yes, compelling conversations, from beginning to last. Even if I pointed people to
http://www.votefortheworst.com or spelled out second hand accounts of my friends who actually waited in line for 10 hours only to be told they're too fat or they've already had their red head quota filled for Los Angeles; even if the evidence is clear as day, they still watch in complete fascination as if Fox figured out a way to transmit heroin through a television set.
I'm getting ahead of myself because how much I hate American Idol is really secondary to how much I love Sanjaya Malakar. Though the two are intertwined. Enter San-man was not supposed to excel the way he did. He wasn't nearly as talented as his sister (watch the tapes on youtube) and yet, he was selected to go to Hollywood. Why, you may ask? This is to ensure that the 2 or 3 'talented' stars Fox has already pre-screened will appear to win by leaps and bounds against their supposed competition. Out of 12 finalists, the producers will select three shoe in, no brainer, bubble gum pop slingers - boys and girls that will sell at Wal Mart and make everyone rich beyond their wildest dreams. In the mix of contestants, add a few mediocre singers, add a good half dozen horrible singers, and let them compete! So, Sanjaya never had a chance, but every week he'd come out and just wow the fuck out of everyone.
Wow, can he not sing!
Wow, look at that hair!
Wow, he's still on the goddamned show!
Holy shit, did you see his hair?!?!?!?!?!?!
He knew he was supposed to lose and that the whole world was posed to hate him because he was the sacrificial lamb. But he outlasted the system that was dead set against him to begin with. He got on stage every fucking week and rocked faces! And always with a smile. I truly believe he never lost. It sounds like a conspiracy, but I feel they had to get rid of him because he was slowly exposing the American Idol machine for con-job it really is (regardless of short term ratings that were the highest AI had ever seen). Damage done, though, because after this last season, word on the street is AI has jumped the shark for good... They're in quite a pickle, I'd say. Their old formula has been exposed and they have to reinvent the wheel while still pulling off boyband profiteering. Good luck, assholes.
So, this afternoon, I salute you, Sanjaya Malakar. You were an inspiration to watch as you displayed grace in your days amongst adversity. You exposed a sham system for what it is and if anyone was a 'winner' last year, it was you.
SALUTE!
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