Coming up on our 1 year anniversary, my family wants...

[sniffa]

Bi-Baby and myself to have a celebration or something where the whole family can come and celebrate. We finally agreed to have a party, but I'm curious/nervous/whatever that my family expects us to have a brand new wedding.

We're going to hash this out soon (Bi-Baby and my sister will the first point of contact on the issue), but what say you, DU? Do you think my family is trying to force a new wedding? I know I've had some annoying badgering from some almost-hated relatives about the issue, so that's where I'm seeing the matter. We eloped for a reason, and I do not want to do anything to make our actual wedding not the primary focus.

Yeah, so what say you on this, and also, will a 1 year anniversary party that we invite everyone to that missed out on the original (DUers, your invites will be out in a while, but keep your calendars clear) satisfy what I suspect to be some need to have us have a wedding, among some of my family members?

This is the first of several threads on this issue. One of the upcoming threads will be about the menu. We're both already talking about what we're going to cook for everyone. :D

[flvegan]

1. Just establish that it's an ANNIVERSARY party and not a wedding.

If the familial riff-raff makes waves, make sure you have a paid bouncer.

[Chan790]

11. Paid? I'd volunteer.

Throwing people out is an artform...everybody thinks it's all about the violence but that's the last resort. It's 40% cerebral, 20% intimidation, 30% diplomacy, 10% physical. Of all the jobs I've had, that was my favorite.

Something tells me I don't have to worry about getting jabbed with a hypo by a drug-addict or worry about having a cutthroat razor or a gun pulled on me at Sniffa's and Bi-baby's anniversary...unless there is something about their family I don't know. That was the only scary part of the job.

[flvegan]

12. Swayze? Is that you?

I loved "Roadhouse"!

I kid.

[Lex]

2. Anniversary celebrations are between the 2 people in the marriage

for the most part.

I've never heard of family members wanting to be in on anniversary dinners and whatnot. That's usually romantic and special for the 2 people in the marriage.

:shrug:

[sniffa]

4. Well, here's the deal

I mentioned it sorta, in passing fair in the OP.

When we decided to get married, we settled on eloping with no family involved. We don't have much money, and could not have thrown together a "typical" wedding, so decided to elope. We decided that no family would be invited so that no one would feel left out. We wanted to be married then, and not later.

That decision did not go over well, and had too many tears and hurt feelings, so I said that we would do something at another time, most likely, next year (ie: now).

[Lex]

10. Oh, I see. Well, then, maybe they should

throw you two a party, bring you lots of swag, and not have you two do all the work. Sounds like *they* want a celebration for the two of you, so let them handle it. No need for you 2 to have a new walk-down-the-aisle, though, imho.

My best to both of you, and your celebration-hungry families! :toast:

[AlCzervik]

3. I think if you want to throw you an anniversary party that's really wonderful but

i think if they want a redo wedding because --they---want it then i don't think i would want that. You and your wife had your wedding your own way, that's what the 2 of you wanted so i hope your family just wants to help celebrate your anniversary.

[bicentennial_baby]

5. I'm laying down the law this week...

I'm calling my SIL, since I have to anyway, as we have to agree on a date.

Party. Period. No re-taking of the vows (you do that after 20 years, not one!). I may choose to forego the jeans and flip flops, we shall see. I don't want any silliness. Just a fun party with food, drinks, music. If it gets weird, I'm hanging out with my 4 y.o. niece and we'll play kitchen or pretend garden.

:D

[AlCzervik]

6. that sounds like a very good time and you know when i get to the 20 year mark

in 3 years i really have no plans of renewing my vows, i think if people want that then fine but i'm happy with how it went the first time and i tell my husband i love him all the time. But if i did renew them it would just be the 2 of us and no one else but the person doing the ceremony.

[bicentennial_baby]

7. Oh, I agree! But yeah, if you do it, wait a while...

I want it to be fun. It bettah be.

[Nickster]

9. We are totally going to renew our vows at the Vegas wedding chapel with Elvis presiding!

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

15. It might get weird way before the party

It could change from "burgers, brats, and ribs" and "BYOB" to something else. Family could try to co-opt it into a wedding: minister, cake, bridesmaids & groomsmen, d-j with hokey-pokey, polkas, Family-zilla stuff.

When that happens, you can secretly get air tickets to Las Vegas that weekend, and just phone into the party.

Eloping to get privacy for an anniversary, that might get the point across to the family.

Anyway, congratulations to both!!!

:hi:

[Ptah]

8. Something like "As we did a year ago, we commit ourselves to each other, forever more. Party!"

:thumbsup:

[Gormy Cuss]

13. Oooh boy.

Have a "wedding celebration" party. Get some blowups of the best photos from the wedding, put them in nice frames, and have them on display. Have an album of honeymoon pictures available too.

You and the missus can doll up for the party, make a speech about how awesome the past year has been, and thank everyone for sharing the anniversary with you. Spend lots of time posing for pictures with the family. They'll have pictures and memories of a party.

My older bro had a planned elopement and a party six months later. The party is referenced as "Jack and Jill's wedding" in the family. Most people don't even remember that there was no ceremony.

[WinkyDink]

14. 12 measly months and your family wants another ceremony? That's pretty weird.