LBN: Glenn Beck recovering from Fall Down Elevator Shaft

[Orrex]

Washington (OP) - Conservative political commentator Glenn Beck is recovering from injuries sustained in a tumble down an elevator shaft. The accident occurred during a recent visit to the penthouse apartment of a friend, and Beck took an unfortunate misstep upon leaving.

"He got out of the elevator, and I guess he decided to head back up," said Vernon Torrell, who was in the lobby at the time of the accident.

Beck apparently exited the elevator, paused and then turned to reenter it. By this time the elevator doors had shut, and when they reopened, the elevator car had moved to another floor. Beck unknowingly stepped into the open shaft and fell between ten and fifteen feet. Safety devices are intented to ensure that the doors can not be opened unless the car is in position. The elevator was built by Harris Elevator and is maintained by employees of that company.

X-rays and preliminary tests show that Beck, who has endured a series of medical difficulties in recent years, was not seriously injured but suffered multiple scrapes and bruises in the fall. His characteristic firebrand personality was in full force at a press conference after the event.

"Am I angry?" asked a clearly irate Beck. "You bet I'm angry. I'm thinking lawsuit at least. If I have my way, I'm going to shut {Harris Elevator} down. They won't know what hit them."

When asked if he had any general suggestions regarding elevator safety, Beck was quick to respond:

"No one should suffer a fall like this. I'm going to make a few calls and get things done. I'm going to see to it that changes need to be made. I promise you that steps will be taken to ensure safety."

Edited to include byline attribution. Worth clicking.

[Robeson]

1. No comment.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

2. Of course he'll sue.

Conservatives think lawsuits are bad only when other people are hurt and go to court for compensation.

[JackBeck]

11. That was my immediate reaction, as well. n/t

[NewJeffCT]

3. Is that from the Onion?

didn't he have other medical problems not long ago?

[AlCzervik]

6. yes, he had hemorrhoid surgery that went bad. They confused his face for his ass.

[Orrex]

13. No it's not, but I'll take that as a compliment!

Thanks!

[Wapsie B]

4. Where's the protect the corporation at all costs conservative here?

:shrug:

[Orrex]

7. Maybe he got the shaft?

:evilgrin:

[Wapsie B]

8. .

:rofl:

Couldn't happen to a more deserving asshole.

[swimboy]

5. L.A. Law

That is all.

[Reverend_Smitty]

9. I was just going to say, doesn't that stuff only happen in soap operas?

[DarkTirade]

10. Y'know, we joke about how stuff like that only happens to people on TV...

... does this count?

[Generic Brad]

12. Glenn Beck never looks before he walks

Much like he never thinks before he speaks.

[MrScorpio]

14. If this is true, it's further proof that he's an idiot

What a dope

[Skittles]

40. I hate to pile it on an injured person but

yes, it was a pretty stupid thing to do - I mean, it's an elevator - MAKE SURE IT'S THERE BEFORE YOU STEP INTO IT. I've heard that it may have been a stairs accident though?

[CreekDog]

15. he's been daring the universe to pull something like this on him

for quite a while now.

[newmajority]

16. If only he had been on a higher floor

:evilfrown:

(No, I don't usually wish death on people, but it seems fitting that such a complete moron would die from his own stupidity)

[LeftyMom]

17. Based on Mr. Beck's recent medical history there is a god after all.

And she's a lesbian muslim latina with cable TV, a long memory and a wicked sense of humor. If I were Lou Dobbs' insurer, I'd go ahead and raise his rates now. ;)

[Orrex]

18. kick, because the daylight crew should hear about this, too!

[Tommy_Carcetti]

19. When I don't have anything nice to say....

Well. I hope he recovers. Wins a lot of money in a lawsuit and retires, so that we are not subject to his inane radio and TV shows ever again.

[graywarrior]

20. He promises that steps will be taken

Sounds like they already were. What a dipshit. He's gonna sue for his being a stupid morAn who doesn't look where he's going--like his tv show.

[Phillycat]

21. Okay, I'm sorry, but this made me laugh.

:rofl:

[peekaloo]

22. a flight of fancy eh Orrex?

:thumbsup:

now I can stop trying to to be punny about Beck going down (on) a shaft.

:D

[Iggo]

23. I'm glad he wasn't killed...

...because GODDAM that's funny!

:rofl:

[malta blue]

24. "You bet I'm angry"

Hot DAMN!

Let me preface this with I am glad he is not dead, nor did he suffer REALLY serious injuries...

It could not have happened to a nicer guy :rofl::rofl:

[Mad_Dem_X]

25. Must...resist...joke...

:yoiks:

[underpants]

26. Will he be okay for his July 17th HD theatre comedy tour simulcast!?!??!

http://www.glennbeck.com/index.php

[Arugula Latte]

27. Okay, now I'm in favor of tort reform. I want a very specific rule, though:

Blowhard rightwing assholes should suck it up when they fall down elevator shafts and stop hurting our Beloved Corporate America with their trivial lawsuits.

[montanto]

28. Seems like conservatives never look at the hole they are getting themselves into.

[Gormy Cuss]

29. That man's either as clumsy as W

or just as unlucky. He's one calamity short of a trifecta.

[Arugula Latte]

30. Let's chip in and send him a bag of pretzels.

Or let's pretzel in and send him a bag of chips.

*rimshot*

[Gormy Cuss]

31. Howzabout a bag o'pretzels in the basket of a Segway?

:D

[Arugula Latte]

32. Sounds good!

Throw in a bottle of Jack Daniels, too. It works for Dubya.

:patriot:

[Fran Kubelik]

33. cute!

You could write for the Onion!

[Orrex]

37. And we have a winnah!

:rofl:

[Pierre.Suave]

34. This whole thing is one big joke...

...

Too bad too...

[Mad_Dem_X]

35. Elavator shaft, or a flight of stairs?

Which was it? There are two different stories posted. :shrug:

[underpants]

36. Flight of stairs

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/06/19/glenn-beck-falls-down-the_n_108172.html

[Mad_Dem_X]

39. Thanks!

An elevator shaft would have been much funnier, tho'. :evilgrin:

[Shakespeare]

38. I think god is trying to kill him.

And I know I shouldn't laugh, but...

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

41. Um, he actually fell down his basement steps?

http://www.glennbeck.com/content/articles/article/198/11684/

[Orrex]

42. Yeah, but I didn't want to pen an article about something he'd actually done!

It seemed funnier to use a fictional episode as a springboard into the real one.

:shrug:

[YellowRubberDuckie]

43. OK.

I get that. Others weren't.

[krispos42]

44. But... but... but... Harris Elevator will be forced to raise prices to cover the lawsuit

He's not hurting the Harris Elevator Company, he's just hurting the American consumer?


Why does he hate the American consumer :cry:

What happened to personal responsibility? :cry:

Isn't it HIS fault for not noticing that the brightly-lit elevator wasn't there in the first place? :cry:

Isn't a safety interlock over-regulation and government interference? :cry:

[WinkyDink]

45. Deleted.