Kids under house arrest, basically, on Supernanny.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

I'm asking about this because it resonates with my childhood.

The Drake family lived in GA, I believe. They were rural. They were overcontrolling of their children; so much so that they wouldn't go on a vacation in their RV. They were afraid of letting the children out of their sight.

I am wondering if this is a normal "redneck" control freak quality. In its worst form, it ends up in child abuse. The child is punished for normal behavior, such as wanting to explore the environment, wetting its pants before it is old enough to be potty trained, crying when it needs something, etc.

These people seemed to be scared to death of the outside world and they wouldn't let their children do normal exploring. Maybe the mother feels powerless in the outside world, so she controls the kids because she can???

Many families on "Wife Swap" are also controlling and often right-wing, sexist, and highly religious. A black family that was on "Wife Swap" last week, and totally controlling would not let their kids go past the stop sign in their suburban hood. The kids had absolutely no fun and no activities, just chores.

I think it's part of the Christian doctrine of beating children to break their will and make them behave. And fundamentalist fear of the outside world and everything that their preacher tells them is EEEEE-VILLLLL!!!

:wtf:


My parents were not religious, and they were well educated. I grew up in a working class slum and my mother tried to prevent me from playing with the neighbor kids. She would scold me for "running off" as she called it. This was in the days when kids played outside a lot, and didn't watch TV as much as they do now.

The other kids were stupid and trashy and picked on me anyway. However, she did not offer me any alternatives, such as Girl Scouts. I begged her to let me join the Girl Scouts because I went to a meeting and it was the first time I was with other girls and did not get picked on, because there was adult supervision.

I remember she ran down the sidewalk shrieking for me and waving a bamboo shoot she was gonna hit me with. I hid between houses and my friends, terrorized, and I laughed at her for making an ass of herself. My father did it too. I could run faster than they could.

Any thoughts on this?

[Manifestor_of_Light]

1. kick

[Dogtown]

2. Market share

Preachers in these fundy churches seek to reduce any exposure outside of the church circle, ensuring they have 1st crack at the "entertainment" dollars of the family.

It's a cult tactic.

[Midlodemocrat]

3. I don't understand your post.

:shrug:

[MrCoffee]

4. Turn off your TV.

[dropkickpa]

5. Me and my brothers were "that" family

The ones everyone talked about, "Those Dropkick kids always all over the place, getting into trouble! You know, I saw one ride his bike into the lake! You're not allowed to play with them! They're trouble!". I have an outstanding sense of direction and never get lost due IMHO, in large part to our vast wandering on our bikes.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

6. Kick. I'm still wondering about this.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

7. kick

[UrbScotty]

8. I too understand the need for balance

Disclaimer: I have seen parts of both Supernanny and Wife Swap, but not very much.

Anyway, obviously, the kids need the protection, but as you say, they also need to get out there and explore more. So? Both are possible.

(PS: That's not part of the Christian doctrine. Christianity is supposed to be about love, not discipline.)

[Manifestor_of_Light]

9. Unfortunately, millions of people think it IS about beating your kids.

As I said read Alice Miller's "The Drama of the Gifted Child". She points out that severe child abuse and absolute authoritarianism and breaking the child's will produces good little Nazis. Good little Nazis who were good little Catholics. Please do not use the "No true Scotsman" fallacy here.

John Bradshaw, Ph.D. has expanded and popularized her ideas in America. He has written many books including "Healing the Shame that Binds You".

[UrbScotty]

11. Just because people say/think it is, doesn't mean it is (nt)

[JCMach1]

10. I have met many left-wing control freaks as well!

This issue crosses political spectrums and even culture.

[bertha katzenengel]

12. "wondering if this is a normal "redneck" control freak quality" --

:popcorn:

I wish I could offer an opinion, but what you describe is so upsetting that I don't want to think about it.

[MrCoffee]

13. I think it has more to do with television editing for maximum shock value

Maybe it's just me.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

14. They weren't showing violence.

They were showing the parents talking about how scared they were of the kids getting hurt.

It brought back horrible memories of my parents trying to imprison me.

Apparently, the cardinal sin is disobedience. My mom ranted about it all the time, and I never figured out what I did that was so terrible. And the older she got, the more terrible she thought I was.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

15. A week or two ago I got to see that episode (rerun) in which the

two teenage girls had to stay home and take care of three little boys while the parents worked. Supposedly they were going to school online, but in fact, they were busy with chores all day and had no time to do their schoolwork. It was reminiscent of my grandmother being forced to drop out of school after seventh grade because her brother was sick and needed someone to take care of him. I kept wondering if those parents would have made two teenage boys stay at home and take care of three little girls.

I really felt for those girls, because they were living like slaves, and even at the end of the program, they were still going to school online instead of mingling with kids their own age.

That's my problem with homeschooling, control freak parents. I know that some DUers home school and have good reasons for doing so (lousy school systems, for the most part), but it can also be a means for control freak parents never to let their children out of their sight.

I am SO glad that homeschooling wasn't popular when I was a teenager, because I had my mother and grandmother at home, both of them control freaks, and school was the one escape they couldn't deny me. (My father, a Lutheran pastor, was actually the least controlling of the adults in my home.) My school was not academically demanding enough, but I read a lot at home, and at least I got to spend time among other people my own age.

Anyway, the other Supernanny episode that really struck me was one with two out-of-control little boys, one of whom always said, when confronted with his behavior, "I didn't think it was so bad." What an odd thing to say. However, when Jo confronted their mother about her extreme negligence, she said, in exactly the same town, "I didn't think it was so bad."