Man survives diving into wood chipper in Roseville

[DS1]

Hard core!


A man tried to kill himself with a wood chipper in Roseville Thursday afternoon.

The crew of a tree repair service company was clearing trees in a public area when the man appeared and jumped head-first into the industrial-sized wood chipper.

The workers immediately turned off the machines and called 911.

The man was rushed to Regions Hospital in St. Paul where he remains in the intensive care unit. Officials say he suffered severe, life-threatening injuries to his head and torso.

http://www.kstp.com/article/stories/S446543.shtml?cat=1

[sniffa]

1. Weird this didn't happen in Fargo

[Generic Brad]

15. It's ususally not voluntary

But this is Fargo country....

[Tektonik]

2. I don't if I'd have turned that thing off

If someone wanted to die so badly they'd be willing to dive into a fucking wood chipper I'd almost be inclined to let him live. Imagine how his face looks right now :scared:

[mainegreen]

3. I have a deep fear of industrial wood chippers.

People sized meat grinders.

If I never have to go near a wood chipper for the rest of my life, I'll be happy.

[DS1]

11. You and me both

I won't go near them.

[Deep13]

4. "Is dat dere yer face in da wood chipper?"

I'll bet he passes as "funny looking" now.

Side note: "Fuck you" isn't why. Don't put words in our mouths. It's dishonest.

[BarenakedLady]

5. How sad.

You have to be pretty desperate to do that. :(

[Phillycat]

6. Well, there's an example of a suicide attempt that was NOT a "cry for help".

Dude wanted to be dead, that's for sure. No handful of pills for him!

[Orrex]

7. What's really sad is that his therapist had counseled him to "go out and try to feel a bit chipper."

Another case of ambiguous advice gone awry.

[SOteric]

8. Oof!

[DS1]

9. I told you guys it wasn't a toupee

[Orrex]

13. Well, now it is.

:shrug:

[quip]

19. Are you saying the therapist's advice was too abattoiry?

[Orrex]

20. That offal joke nearly renders me unconscious

[quip]

29. You don't have the intestinal fortitude to handle it!

[Ikonoklast]

28. Reminds me of the meatcutter that accidentally backed into the meat grinder

And got a little behind in his work.














:hide:

[Haole Girl]

10. OMG!

I can't think of a worse way to die... well, burning maybe...
that's horrible. :-(

[siligut]

12. I saw a video of a man who jumped into a burning car.

I thought; how could things be so bad? My work sometimes causes me to hear horror stories from the people who have lived them. Hope is a notion that has to be practiced and nurtured.

[Orrex]

24. Into? Are you sure that you weren't running the video backwards?

Out of, I can see.

:wtf:

[harmonicon]

14. I can:

celery. You'd never expect, but that's what makes it so frightening.

[Twillig]

16. Man. There's still a few good bridges in the cities.

Nobody can turn off gravity.

[texas1928]

17. Well he just nearly "went all to pieces."

:hide:

[Orrex]

18. I suspect that he had a chip on his shoulder

[texas1928]

21. I bet they start calling him...

Chip.

[Orrex]

22. When they release him from the hospital, they can say:

"Take care, Chip. Back to the daily grind."

[DS1]

23. Spread yourself out a little bit

[Orrex]

25. Let me introduce you to my friend Peat.

[Deja Q]

26. Is he Kate's brother? You know, Kate Moss?

:hide:

[Orrex]

27. Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?

Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?
Actually, "Peat" is his last name. Perhaps you've met his brother Re?

[Droopy]

30. Man, and to think he was depressed before he jumped in the wood chipper

Wait until he wakes up.

[SPKrazy]

31. Well, he probably won't win a Darwin award

but damn, honorary mention at least!