I want to thank everyone who helped me with my Dad's dying.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

I gathered memories and jokes, and stuff to give him foot massages. Unfortunately, it was all too late. He's unable to comprehend or enjoy any of those things, now. Both his mind and body are extremely weak, too weak to enjoy anything other than the type of basic physical comforts provided to newborn babies, literally. :cry:

I wish,...I wish everyone would let him go, with as much comfort as we can provide. He's made his decision to let go. I admire my family for being "fighters" but, he's fought and wants to go home.

The last two days I spent caring for my Dad,...I felt nothing other than anger: anger about all those around him who failed to relieve him from his pain; anger at those who refused to acknowledge he is dying; anger at those who denied his decision to give in to a cancer HE CAN NOT FIGHT TO WIN. The "optimistic" and "positive" assertions just pissed me off because, rather than give him the medications necessary to allow a peaceful death, they are keeping his body alive --> complication after complication --> a perpetuation of suffering I find gross,...but that's just me.

I swear, I believe if he were able he'd slap the shit out of all those FORCING him to live beyond his capacity to be alive.

*sigh*

I wish,...he'd go to sleep, peacefully.

:cry:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

1. I wish I could give you a hug right now...

It sounds like you really need one. I hope your father is soon at peace. :hug::hug::hug:

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

2. Thank you.

I'm just,...really tired. :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

3. Having your emotions worked like that

is bound to make you physically tired. Take good care of yourself...eat well, take vitamins, and so forth.

:hug:

[driver8]

4. My father lost his battle with lung cancer about a month and a half ago.

I spent some time with him at home (my parents live in NY and I live in CA) and we were able to watch the Super Bowl together. I had to say goodbye to him knowing that I would never see him alive again. I was back in Los Angeles about 10 days before he passed away.

My father was lucky in that he had hospice there during his final weeks and was as comfortable as he could be -- he told us he felt no pain. He accepted his dying and that made it much easier for us...although it was still very sad.

I am sorry you are going through this with your family. A loved one dying is hard enough without the extra "family" stuff.

I hope your father (and you) can find peace, soon...

All my best to you and your family.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

6. *hug*

I'm glad you two got to watch the Super Bowl, together.

I'm okay with the family stuff. We all have our own way of dealing with struggles, suffering and death. I didn't mean to criticize my family for their means of dealing. I was merely expressing my own personal feelings and perceptions, for better or worse, right or wrong.

My Dad told me, he is dying. I shared that with family. We're all coping differently.

Personally, I want him to have the peace he seeks. That's all.

This stuff,...is difficult for everyone involved. There are circumstances worse than these, though.

I don't know.

[driver8]

8. You need a hug, too!

:hug:

Hang in there...and keep us posted on how you are doing.

[QMPMom]

5. You have my deepest sympathy. My Dad died on February 4th

of this year and it hurts like hell. I wasn't ready for this pain, but I know he is in a better place.

I wish you peace during this trying time.

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

7. I'm sorry.

:hug:

[lost-in-nj]

9. check your pm

:hug:





lost

[sicksicksick_N_tired]

10. My Daddy's condition challenged me to face just how strong I am,...

,...with the ability to shove aside all collateral thoughts and feelings in order to fulfill ONE PURPOSE: to love him, completely.

After reading your PM, I allowed myself the cry of my life,...a heaving, mourning outpouring of sorrow.

Now, I'm ready to get back to my Daddy's side,...and my Mom's, too. In all honesty, my Mom has suffered the most through this journey and she needs someone to care for her.

:hug: Thanks for sharing your humanity with me. :hug:

[mainegreen]

11. I hope you get your wish.

Society can be abusive sometimes. But his time will come, his suffering will end, and you will have been there for him.

:hug:

[applegrove]

12. So sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how hard it is to be in that position.

Vibes to your dad.