Vibes Needed: I go in front of a Judge in the Morning...

[RetroLounge]

and by 10:00am I will be divorced.

Please send some good lounge vibes my way, I could really use them tonight...

But my poor kids will need them even more. They are taking this pretty hard.

:cry:

RL

[hippywife]

1. You got them, sweetie.

I know this will be tough but try to look at it as a transition into a future that will be much better than today is. Many good vibes out to you and, especially, the kids. :hug:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

2. Of course.

:hug: :hug:

[greenbriar]

3. thinking of you

know it will get easier with time

[madinmaryland]

4. RL, you have a new life beginning.

I've been there too.

You love your children and will keep it that way. It will be difficult, but there are better days ahead.

:hug:

[Critters2]

5. I'll be thinking of you, Retro.

God, I remember that day. I hope yours goes well. The thing that was hard for me was how matter-of-fact the lawyers and judge were, when I felt that my life was being destroyed. I still cry when I think of it.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow, and sending vibes and prayers and best wishes. You will survive, but it may not feel like it tomorrow.

Btw, if your spouse doesn't bother to show up, as mine didn't, you have my permission to retaliate in whatever way makes you feel good.

[Hawkeye-X]

6. Plenty of vibes..

:hug:

Sorry to hear about your divorce. The kids will definitely need you both!

[bicentennial_baby]

7. ...

:hug:

You know where to find me if you need to talk. :)

[ghostsofgiants]

8. Divorce sucks.

I know what the kids are going through. Not fun.

[1]

9. just remember...

that in the moment you can never know what is bad and what is good in your life. what you think now about an event might change drastically when you get the future and some retrospection on your side.

unpleasant and happy are things we can know now. the good and the bad?

they take some time.

good luck, my friend...

[lizziegrace]

10. ...

:hug:

You've got friends who are here for you no matter what.

I know how guilty you feel about the kids and how this changes their lives. I felt the same with Lelapin.

:hug:

[RetroLounge]

28. ...

:hug:

RL

[lizziegrace]

42. ...

because one can never get too many hugs

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[RetroLounge]

56. Very true

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

RL

[ThomCat]

11. I wish we could be there with you

to lend you moral support. :hug:

I hope you all come out of this okay on the other side.

[RetroLounge]

33. Thank you my friend

:hug:

RL

[Zoigal]

12. You have my warmest thoughts, RetroL

Your kids, too. They will really need your support. Have you thought of group therapy
for the family regarding the divorce? Known it to be of great help for a lot of folks. z

[flvegan]

13. You and your kids have got them, buddy.

Also, some to your soon to be ex. Vibes that will hopefully keep her in a positive place in regards to you and the kids.

10:01am, drinks are on me.

:toast:

[LadyoftheRabbits]

14. Sending them to you and RetroChildren...

It will be hard for them and you, but in the long run... I think it'll be OK. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[GoddessOfGuinness]

15. ~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>

[CaliforniaPeggy]

16. My dear Retro...

Oh, sweetie...

Vibes for you, and for your kids...

:hug: :hug: :hug:

[Sugar Smack]

17. I know, buddy. I wish you and your family all the best.

I know it's tough. Love to you and the kids, and your soon-to-be ex. I'll be thinking about you.

[SallyMander]

18. (((hugs for RL)))

I'm sorry you'll have to deal with this tomorrow. It's going to be a hard day. All my best to you and the kids :hug: :hug: :hug:

[hisownpetard]

19. RL - At a time like that, I always think to myself, "Next year at this time, this will all be old,"

because it's the new things, the unfamiliar, that scare us the most.
And, somehow, it's always served to calm me down, put things in perspective a bit.

Give the kids a little extra attention, especially in the beginning. That's when they'll need it most.

The main thing is, you did the right thing, for everyone involved.
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow.

[Aristus]

20. I'm sending you good vibes and a manly chuck on the shoulder, Retro.

:pals:


We'll always have Brokeback... :+

Take care, man. And the kids.

[eyesroll]

21. Best wishes to you and your kids...

:hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

22. I am so sorry. Here's to the kids being able to deal with this. *hugs and good vibes*

[johnnie]

23. I'll keep you and the little ones in my thoughts RL

Keep your chin up and take care.

[RainDog]

24. Hugs to you

Your kids are lucky to have a dad like you. They'll be okay. Kids are resilient.

I was really worried about my kids too, but you know... they've done better with all of this than I have. I know you know these things, but you'll just have to go through all the different stages of grief... some more than once and in no particular order.

I still cry sometimes because I miss my family, but life just has to go on. I try to avoid too much direct talk about my situation... cause it does no good to cry for me, at this point. I lost a parent when I was much younger. I knew from that experience that the grief may always be there in some form, but it's not so painful over time.

Be kind to yourself.

[MilesColtrane]

25. This too shall pass.

As difficult as it may be now for your children, I can tell you from experience that living in a family for years where there is no love between parents can be just, if not more, damaging.

If you and your soon-to-be-ex continue to reinforce that it's not their fault, and that they are unconditionally loved, they'll not only get through it, they'll thrive.

Take heart in the absolute fact that they'll eventually have two loving families instead of one. (and a double Christmas)

[SeattleGirl]

26. Of course.

For you and your kids: :grouphug:

[Radio_Lady]

27. Hi RL -- I guess we patched up our feud a few months ago -- good news because --

I feel so badly for you. Kids do come through this -- my two children were 1 and 2 years old when my husband called it quits.

But now they are in their late thirties with ONE spouse each and two kids each.

It's a long way down the road, but my children were VERY, VERY careful in choosing their own mates because they saw the other side of this difficult divorce.

The other unusual thing that happened was I had a medical emergency in 1980 and was hospitalized in June. I asked my ex to take them temporarily, but he refused. So, my kids eventually went to live with their father and stepmother from the time they were ages 10 and 11 until they graduated high school. Also, I was one of the mothers who paid child support.

So I got to be the non-custodial parent and, believe me, there is a lot of prejudice against women who don't have their minor children living with them.

As a result, I talked about this issue on the radio and then in newspapers and on television. Made it to the Phil Donahue show in 1981, and then received 6,000 LETTERS at my local mailbox.

I am the founder and first national director of Mothers Without Custody, Inc. and held the position for two years, started a newsletter and arranged for local groups to meet. Then, I turned the reins over to other women.

So my vibes are really with you. Peace, friend. Life is long and the road has so many curves. I hope you find the judge to be just. Let us know what happens and keep on truckin' day by day.

Cordially,

Radio Lady Ellen in Oregon

[BarenakedLady]

29. Big hugs for you RL

:hug:

You are in my thoughts.

[lost-in-nj]

30. lots of hugs and good vibes

and positive thoughts.....

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

to your kids and you.......


lost

this whole process and mess sucks

[Callalily]

31. Sending a ton load

of hugs and supportive vibes.

Your kids will be okay, you will be okay.


:hi: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[blondie58]

32. sendingall of the positive vibes from sunny Colorado here

been there, done that and yes, it does get easier. Good luck to the kiddo's. They need to know that they will still be loved by both of you. The best thing you can do for them is to remain friends, or at least civil to each other in front of them. Good luck- this is a new beginning.

[Brewman_Jax]

34. Good thoughts to you

from me and the cat.

[MissB]

35. Positive thoughts, RL.

Your kids will make it through this - they have a terrific father who cares about them.

[soleft]

36. Major hugs for you and your kids

There's no getting around that it's very difficult for kids. I hope your ex will be a helpful partner in making the transition easier for them. It did take a few years, even under very amicable circumstances for my son to work through the loss. But I think he's doing much better now.

[av8rdave]

37. Vibes sent. Been there, done that. I know it's tough

[Ellen Forradalom]

38. BIG HUGS RETRO

Extra vibes for the kids. Everything will be OKAY. Tell them I say so.

[RetroLounge]

40. Thanks

:hug:

RL

[hotforteacher]

39. Vibes for you and your babies CST, Darling.

[MissMillie]

41. :hugs: to you all

I've never experienced this... not for myself and not for my parents. I have no wisdom to share with you all.

Just my love and my hope that you all find some peace with this somehow.

:hug:

[laylah]

43. Good vibes

on the way to you and the kiddos. Divorce is hard, for all concerned, even if both partners want it. As for the kids,the most important thing is to keep reassuring them they had absolutely nothing to do with it. Too often, kids take on that responsibility. Time really does heal all wounds, the length of time differs from person to person. :hug:

[From The Ashes]

44. Hugs and vibes, RL...

:hug: :pals:

Hang in there. :hug:

[RetroLounge]

45. thanks

RL

[TZ]

46. So sorry RL

As a child of divorce, I really feel your pain. But once its over, things should get better...:hug:
(PS from my experienced I think ultimately its better for the children for divorce to occur rather than trying to stick it out for the sake of the kids...)

[bigwillq]

47. Wishing and hoping for the best.

Sending out the best and biggest vibes. :hug:

[otherlander]

48. Vibes:

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

[terrya]

49. My good thoughts to you and your kids.

:hug:

[Parche]

50. Big Big Book Vibes For My Favorite Book Seller

:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

:hi:

[Richard Steele]

51. That's certainly never fun. I had a good day today; you can have all my excess happiness.

I wasn't doing anything important with it anyway. :hug:

[Angel]

52. My Vibes Are Yours

I've been where you are now. It isn't easy, hug your children often,let them know they are loved and that no matter what happens or what they do you will be there for them. That alone, is the top most lesson I learned from my divorce from their father. No matter what happens or what age I or they become, I am still mama,and love them unconditionally and am always there for them.

As an adult, keep your adult time. As much a children mean to us we also need to keep "ourself" alive also. I learned this one the hard way, if we live just for them, when they are grown and on their own we as parents are left floundering wondering who we are lol

[Cabcere]

53. Sending good thoughts/vibes/etc. to you and the kids

:hug: :pals: :grouphug: Peace.

[crim son]

54. I saw this only now.

I'm sending vibes, prayers and lighting a candle. You will get through this, RetroLounge. :hug:

[no name no slogan]

55. This may sound strange, but congratulations

My divorce was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

I am sorry to hear the kids are taking it hard, but speaking as the child of divorced parents, they will pull through okay. In fact they may even do better once the stress of the event is over.

Best of luck to you, amigo :thumbsup:

[madrchsod]

57. been there ,done that ,and it sucks

but after a bit it gets better....

[Radio_Lady]

58. They figure out who's telling the truth and who is full of BS, as some parents are.

We're out there -- the millions of people who have survived this. Both of my kids have grown up to be loving and caring mates and parents.

Try to keep from bad-mouthing their mother and her parents, also. They need both parents and it works better when they don't feel like "a piece of spaghetti that is being sucked apart." (Description divorced kids have used for decades when asked.)

[QMPMom]

59. Sending good vibes now and tomorrow.

[Radio_Lady]

60. RL -- so, how did it go today? We love you 'en masse' and hope you can respond soon.

[xchrom]

61. i missed this when you posted it...

:hug:

[YankeyMCC]

62. I'm not a 'vibes' kinda guy but

You have my sympathy (I'll soon be in your position myself) and my hope that all goes well and particularly for your kids. I had to speak with the school guidence counselor just this AM about my son, nothing to serious (I hope) yet but probably signs that the stress of the situation between his parents is having some affect on him.

At the very least you can see this appearance before the judge as another step towards getting things resolved and life back on some kind of steady track for everyone which should be a positive thing.

[electron_blue]

63. Sending good vibes your way.

It'll be good to have this date behind you.