This Fundy chick I know is having sex with this guy and then she

[Tuesday Afternoon]

tells him that they shouldn't be doing "it" :wtf: is up with that??

I think she is trying to "guilt" trip him into marrying her.

What does "teh Lounge" think?

[madinmaryland]

1. Did he finish the job?

:hide:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. actually NO

according to her, he can not FINISH.

[Sanity Claws]

26. Maybe that's the real explanation

She's either searching for an excuse to stop doing it with the guy because he can't come; or she sees his inability to climax as a sign from God.
Why would she want to marry him if the sex is no good? Is she looking for a sexless marriage?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

28. I really don't know....

what she is looking for. She is stuck so far up her bible she can't see straight. Please don't get me wrong. Dogmatic, I think is perhaps the right word for her.

It is to the point that I really don't want her to talk with me about it. I think she is playing games with him and ipso facto with herself.

I want to be a supportive friend but, this is beyond me.

I think she is tired of being alone.

[Sanity Claws]

31. Why are you friends with her?

We all have friends that we outgrow. It doesn't sound like you have much in common with her.
Also, you attribute a really bad motivation to her -- playing with him, etc. If you think she is so manipulative, perhaps it's time to distance yourself from her.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

32. well,

We go back MANY years. I think I will try to be tactful and if she asks my opinion again, I will tell her that I think she is being manipulative. Perhaps she is capable of growing and learning from this. She tends to be religious whereas I tend to be spiritual. She does listen though and she does think about what I say and she is there for me when I need her. Friendship is a two-way street. lord knows, I am far from perfect.

[Bucky]

60. CAN not finish... or is not PERMITTED to finish?

On a side note, I'll bet all that protein is good for your hair. Just a thought. Not nice one, but a thought nonetheless.

[ThomCat]

2. If she thinks they shouldn't be doing it

then she shouldn't be doing it. If she's choosing to do it, then she shouldn't be trying to make anyone else feel guilty about it.

:shrug:

I think you might be right. If she's trying to guilt him then it's for a reason. Either she wants to convert him, or she wants something more serious in their relationship.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

17. Exactly!!

She is 43 and he is 46. Old enough to know how to remove theirselves from the "temptation"

[Connonym]

3. I think anyone is entitled at any time to reconsider their decision to be sexually involved

could it be a manipulative maneuver? sure could be. Perhaps she thought she could handle it but can't. She's entitled to change her mind and to have that decision respected.

[madinmaryland]

5. That's a tough one to call.

Any time you're involved in something as personal and passionate as that, it awfully hard to shut the motor off instantaneously.

And yes it has happened, but it's tough.

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

19. If a person knows they are going to be tempted, then why put

theirself in the situation? Especially, if they are walking "the christian walk" ?? :wtf: :puke:

I think it is hypocritical but, what the fuck do I know?

[Bucky]

62. Actually, it's a real easy one to call.

No means no.

It's not considerate to go to 11:59 and then call the game off, but it's entirely permissible and the call must always be respected.

[KitchenWitch]

6. Good answer!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

18. Over and Over again ??

Every time ??

And she tells him BEFORE they do it...

"We shouldn't be doing this".... :WTF:

She is 43 y/o for gawds sake.

have sex.
feel guilty.
make him feel guilty.
have sex again and again.
feel guilty again and again.
make him feel guilty again and again.

Broken record anyone?

Real learning experience. :eyes:

[Pierre.Suave]

33. Guilt...

is how "Christian fundamentalists" operate. WHy should it be any different in any aspects of their lives?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

34. trudat

what was I thinking :D

[Pierre.Suave]

41. It is a shame really...

Guilt serves to lower their self esteem and keeps them in the loop of guilt so they keep coming back to the church for more guilt...

It is sad.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

43. It is bizarre. She keeps inviting me to her church. Thanks but,

No thanks. He attends one of those stripmall churches of a denomiation where women are not allowed to speak :wtf: :rofl:

[Pierre.Suave]

45. That is really sad...

If you want to have fun with her, next time she asks you to go, just look really sad and heartbroken and say no, but I will pray for you...

That ought to confuse her...

it is a little bit mean though, a nicer thing to do would be to help her build her self esteem to the point that she can see what that church is doing to her.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

47. well,

I just try to keep the conversation away from religion.

[Pierre.Suave]

49. That is easier I imagine...

but does nothing for her.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

50. the lord is her savior

I shall not interfere :crazy:

[timtom]

55. Actually, I like that.

[Pierre.Suave]

63. Which one?

My first or second suggestion?

[timtom]

64. Geez! I didn't realize how far down from the relevant post I'd be...

It was this one:

"If you want to have fun with her, next time she asks you to go, just look really sad and heartbroken and say no, but I will pray for you..."

That's the kind of twist of logic to confuse some people that I love.

It's almost a Zen koan.

[Pierre.Suave]

65. Yeah, that would be fun to do.

for sure.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

66. Thing is ----

The irony of it all would be lost on her...she thinks in fundamental terms.
She is really a nice person...just lost her way a bit on relationships.
Haven't we all done that, at one time or another?

[Pierre.Suave]

67. Well, I agree with you that her thinking is very fundamental...

I have never tried to guilt anyone I was having a sexual relationship with into doing whatever it is I wanted them to do. I am an adult. her behavior is bordering on psychotic and is a sign she needs help.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

30. oops

already responded.

[Skittles]

4. how is it that 1) you know about it....and

2) how is it any of your fucking business?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. you know, Skittles ...

I will kick your ass!!

I know about it because she told me about it. And I can think and wonder about anything I want.

[Bicoastal]

7. That's so hot...

Not the marrying part, but the "Oh, this is so wrong, Jesus is watching..." part.

And I'm a Jew! Philip Roth was right...

:hide:

[raccoon]

13. Well, if you're Jewish, God could still be watching. :silly: nt

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. oh lord

:rofl:

god is watching you take a dump, too ;)

[NNadir]

8. Been there, done that.

Sigh...

That was a long time ago...

IBIL.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

21. exactly ...

what a childish little scenario !!

[NNadir]

9. Been there, done that.

Sigh...

That was a long time ago...

IBIL.

[Lil Missy]

10. Not enough information to make a judgment about it.

At this point, I'd just say stay out of it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. yeah...

unfortunately, she tells me every little detail and then asks me what I think :puke:

[Robeson]

11. This thread is useless without video.....

...:D

[Tuesday Afternoon]

15. she webcams, too

:shrugs:

:D

[BlueJazz]

12. It happened to me . I was simply amazed....I mean, I didn't know Chicks could talk.

:spank: :spank: :spank:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

23. *groan*

:D

:hi:

[datasuspect]

24. i like sex

[Tuesday Afternoon]

25. me too

damn if I am going to feel guilty about it :wtf:

[datasuspect]

27. it's even better with other people

or so i hear

[Tuesday Afternoon]

29. April Fools !!

:rofl:

[LanternWaste]

51. I like pumpkin pie...

I like pumpkin pie. (A LOT!) A ate an entire pumpkin pie on Saturday-- I felt pretty guilty about it afterwards...

[Tuesday Afternoon]

52. but,

did you make the pumpkin feel guilty, too ?

[LanternWaste]

53. I dunno. I left before the pie woke up...

I dunno. I left before the pie woke up...

[Parche]

35. Send her my way?

:rofl: :rofl:

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

37. Aren't you in California?

She used to live there...you missed your chance. :D

[Parche]

38. Oregon

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

40. oops

close...

Want I send you her contact info :D :crazy: :rofl:

[Parche]

42. I will show her the real bible

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl::rofl:


The LONG version :woohoo: :woohoo: :hi:
:rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

44. I am sure your --

rod and your staff will comfort her ;)

[Burma Jones]

36. IT is still an excellent field in which to find employment

Is she looking to get married so she doesn't have to work outside the home?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

39. To be honest,

I think YES. It is her biggest gripe about her divorce. She was not working out of the home and now she is. I don't know if you were joking or not.

[Burma Jones]

46. Yes, I was joking.........

but, I work at home and appreciate it mightily.....

[Tuesday Afternoon]

48. oh lord

:rofl:

[In_The_Wind]

54. That shows how brilliant she is.

Not!
Only a Fundy could get it that ass-back-wards.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

58. Love that smilie !!

:loveya:

:hi:

[MissMillie]

56. guilt is a fabulous basis for a marriage

(it is April Fool's Day, right?)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

57. bwahahahahaha...I wish.

I started this thread before 4/1. This is sad but true.

[LaraMN]

59. I had a non-fundy GUY pull that on me.

I had no clue why he kept doing it if he felt guilty about it(and it was annoying), so I dumped him.

I've never understood how anyone could use sex as a tool to ply a commitment from someone; it had the reverse effect on me.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

61. exactly....

I don't care how good the sex was -- STFU !!

It annoys me just to hear her talk about telling him. He is a weird-o, Limbaugh DittoHead anyway. They deserve each other, to be honest about it.

[bertha katzenengel]

68. Having been a Fundy, I say

She's a master manipulator. She lives on guilt -- thrives on it -- and feels compelled to spread it around.

And she is a hypocrite. But of course, that's obvious.