I need a pep talk. I've had to pick myself up and keep going for so long

[lizziegrace]

and it's getting harder and harder.

I've found a job to apply for at a Big Ten university and know, if I can muster the confidence, I have a shot at it. But my confidence is low and my anxiety is high right now and I have 5 weeks to find something or I sell everything I own and move in with my parents. I'm 47. I haven't worked my entire life to live in my parents' back bedroom...

So, got any words of encouragement?

:(

[MissMillie]

1. Darlin'

I don't know what this job is, but I know that you have mastered the toughest job there is (raising kids) and there is nothing, I mean NOTHING, that you can't do if you put your mind to it.

[lizziegrace]

2. Thank you

:hug:

The panic attacks are getting the best of me. :(

[elleng]

3. lizziegrace, this is a fine chance,

and you should take it.

At times like this one, I've tried to remind myself that its MY life, and no one but me is going to DO IT for me. So I raise my hand, and then take the step.

At the moment the step is 'merely' a letter and/or application, right? A paper document? Breathe, take the first step to get the document together, and imagine how good you'll feel after you've sent it off.

We'll all party then, OK???

Peace

[lizziegrace]

4. ...

:hug:

[supernova]

5. Just keep going

Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Even if you think you can't or even if (God forbid!) you think there just isn't any point.

Just keep going.

Sorry I can't sound more optimistic, but I'm in the same boat myself, laid off from one job a while a go and looking at another one. I have to keep reminding myself simply to not get stuck where I am.

I'm running on sheer stubbornness some days.

Luckily employers don't hold it against you anymore that you have been out of work for a while.

Go for it! You never know unless you try.

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

7. I hope things turn around for you

soon. :hug:

Thank you for your advice. :)

[supernova]

6. Dupe

[Sugar Smack]

8. Lizziegrace, no dreamy optimism or sweet fantasies here, BUT

I just want to tell you you're not alone. I do know it feels like it, especially when you compare yourself to others who ostensibly have it made. I know good luck plays a part in success & working all your life, it doesn't seem like there's a "sum total" to show for it. I'm in a similar situation to yours.

One thing I know about you is you're articulate, honest, and you have integrity. What sucks is that it doesn't pay the rent, but I'll bet it goes a long way in breaking the paralysis of fear that renders people inert. For me, the only thing I can grasp onto that makes any sense at all is that there are a lot of worthy people who can't make ends meet. I'm looking into sharing a house with some other people, myself, privacy be damned.

"I'm 47. I haven't worked my entire life to live in my parents' back bedroom..."
Well, if anyone ever shot you down for that, I'd personally want to kick their complacent asses. I wish you a lot of luck, meanwhile.

[SPKrazy]

9. as Dory the fish said in Finding Nemo

Just keep swimming. apply whether u have confidence or not. Breathe and go forward. you are stronger than u know. self doubt is not a sign of weakness but just a sign of a mind that is thinking. Im rooting 4 you! (im writing from my phone) You are special 2 me and I dont know u that well. Mebbe cause we are the same age? Anyway I have confidence that you are gonna land on your feet! :hug:

[LynzM]

10. Only the ones that are in my sig....

And a great big hug for ya, dude... :hug: I hope that the job comes through for you. As others have said, you have the skills and talent and determination, and I hope they recognize that.

Keep breathing, have a cup of herbal tea, go for a walk, take a nap. And then keep breathing, and remember that a lot of us are on your side, and take whatever mental strength you can from that. :hug:

[Mutley]

11. Just apply.

Just keep going. You have too.

I earned my BA 15 months ago, and still have not found a permanent position in my field. I still work as a cashier in a store while I do freelance work on the side, hoping that the little bit of experience will help me find something better. I keep going no matter how hopeless it seems, no matter how much I feel like giving up. If I can do it, you can too. I know it. :hug:

[bif]

12. Ya just have to keep plugging away

I haven't had a full time joib in over 3 years. I'm married with 2 kids. And I get up ever day and say to myself, as long as I do one thing today towareds getting a job, I don't feel so bad. I've done a bunch of free-lance writing, but it only adds up to 1/4 of what I was making before. Seems like there's not much room for an experienced 53 yeart old. My friends ask me how I do it and I tell them, "What, you think I'm going to give up trying?" Giving up just isn't an option. Hang in there and jump at any opportunity that comes your way. Good luck!

[raccoon]

13. Hope things work out well for you, lizzie. :hug: nt

[applegrove]

14. It will be okay. Go for a job and the whole time visualize that job interview and you

nailing it.

[1gobluedem]

15. "Four minutes at a time..."

I watched a basketball coach give a pep talk to his team once; he broke the half down into four minute increments, telling his team not to think about the whole 20 minutes but to just concentrate on four minutes at a time. Right now that's what you need to do; break things down into maybe an hour at a time. When you get through one, then you concentrate on the next hour. I find things to be most frightening when I look at them as the whole piece. Break it down.

I was at that point once too; my unemployment was about to run out, my roommate was getting her own place, and I was faced with having to move in with my parents. I got a job offer the next day.

"Four minutes at a time." You're going to make it -- I feel it in my bones.

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

16. Thank you ...

:hug:

I tend to look at the big picture and become paralyzed.

[miss_american_pie]

17. Breathe in. Breathe out.

I have faith in you. :hug:

[Fire Walk With Me]

18. Self-motivation becomes a habit. Just keep at it.

[Flaxbee]

19. You will be fine.

Apply for that job, and lots of others at universities - that's what I'm doing right now - applying almost everywhere I can think of (a university/town I'd like to be in). You will be fine. Keep saying that, because we all know it's true, and deep down, you know it, too.

EVEN if you do have to go home for a month or two job hunting. It is not the most desirable situation, but certainly not the worst. And it isn't forever, either - you'll have a safe place from which you can look for work.

You know if Lelapin needed you when she's 47, you'd do it, and wouldn't think ill of her, nor would you want her to think that way of herself. These are REALLY hard times, but you'll come through just fine.

And as others have said - small steps. Apply for work, keep looking, keep applying. It is overwhelming to look at the big picture sometimes, so break it down into bearable time increments.

Please apply for that job. Please. And keep applying elsewhere. Don't get paralyzed, but even if you do, it's OK and perfectly understandable. Just make sure you call someone, or post here for a pick-me-up, if you freeze and we'll help you through it.

[lizziegrace]

22. ...

:hug:

[asthmaticeog]

20. ...

Go forth and kick ass. You know you can.

[lizziegrace]

21. We were planning to come to Cleveland for the weekend

but the cars got wind of the situation and the 2000 Ford (when it's running) sounds like some 20th century contemporary percussion ensemble piece (I was married to a percussion professor..) and the Honda is leaking anti-freeze, oil and the timing belt could go at any time. Oh, then there's the little issue of the cost of fuel.

:(

Damn.