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You would have to do something particularly specific and hateful for that.
As for pain, I grok that. I can't remember the last time something didn't hurt, but mostly physical. Sometimes that's easier to take than psychological pain, if that's your issue.
As for people saying unkind things, if we are are sensitive enough to know the difference (as you obviously are), then we really should remember that casually unkind people are usually too stupid to know the consequences of their attitudes, and wouldn't care if they knew. Purposefully unkind people are wastes of air and food, and eventually run into meaner and more powerful people than they are, as they probably aren't the meanest or most powerful people in the world.
I don't know if this helps, but hey, I have no reason to hate you or be mean, so I chimed in.
Be well.
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