Regretted Unexplored Love Interests

[elfwitch]

Did you ever have a situation where you wanted to get together with someone and you were pretty sure they wanted to get with you, but fate or bad timing never allowed for it to happen?

Who was it? When was it? And why did you never get together?

[GOPisEvil]

1. It's happened more than once...sadly...

Why? Different reasons. I'm an idiot, she was an idiot...mostly, I'm too big of a chicken. Been that way since I got burned YEARS ago. :-(

[elfwitch]

6. sympathy smoochies for you...

I think you are a peach!

[GOPisEvil]

8. Thanks and thanks...

:-)

[arcane1]

12. Amen brother

preach on

hell, I think I'm always in that scene to some degree or other :/

[GOPisEvil]

13. Yup...it sucks knowing what you SHOULD BE doing...

...and being physically and mentally unable to do it.

[arcane1]

16. shoulda coulda woulda

I know the story well

[amazona]

2. can't say i have

Is this really so common as they make out in the movies? In my experience I've never regretted not going for it...but I've often lived to regret going for it. You have to try though or the species would die out, I suppose.

[elfwitch]

3. I'll start...

The guy: Grady

The when: 7th grade through freshman year of college

The why: We just always kept missing each other. He would be dating someone and I wouldn't. I'd be with someone and he wasn't. We both were dating someone. In any case, we never got the chance to hook up. We were good pals for a long time. After my Freshman year in college, I lost track of him.

[Whitacre D_WI]

4. Her name was Rebecca, and she was a dancer.

She knew her way around a ballet stage, that's for sure.

And boy, was she a looker!

Of course, this was like a dozen years ago, so no biggie.

[tarheel]

46. LOL ! Her name was Lola

she was a showgirl.
With pretty ribbons in her hair,
and a dress cut down to there...

[VelmaD]

5. Other

Always seems like I'm in the middle of it. :-)

[Dookus]

7. yep...

a few times. the most memorable was when I was hitchhiking back from a concert late at night while in college and a hunky cop picked up me. Took me back to the dorms. Hit on me like crazy, but I was too young/stupid/shy to realize it until later. Sigh...

[qwertyMike]

9. O Yes

and they make great masturbation fatasies, dont they?

sigh

[truthspeaker]

10. OK here's the short list:

There was a woman I went to college with named Malia. Damn was she cute, and quirky. I met her once early in her freshman year (my junior) when she just came to the table I was at in the dining hall and sat down (I think she sort of knew someone there). Never got up the guts to actually approach her. Then I ran into her three months after my graduation, and we talked for two hours. But I didn't pursue it because I was painfully shy, afraid, and a fool. Never saw her again.

Then there was futon shop girl. I went to buy a futon frame and she was working in the store. She wasn't the salesperson I bought from but she joined our conversation about Star Wars figures (her contribution: "I'm too young to remember that stuff"). But when I went to pick it up she helped me. She was just a tad on the heavy side but managed to look very sexy in a tight dress. Later when I put the futon together I noticed on of the pieces was wrong. So I went back to the store on my way to work the next morning with the bad part. She said she'd have to order the right one from the warehouse, but it would come later that day. I said I'd come pick it up that evening. She said "Don't you live near here? I can just bring it over." !!!!!!!

That was blatant enough even for me to get it. But here was the hitch: I was in a relationship at the time with a woman who had just moved out of town. Iagonized all day at work about pursuing this intriguing situation. My gf was three hundred miles away and would never find out. But eventually I decided I wouldn't be able to live with myself afterwards, so I just went and picked up the part from the store, and never saw that girl again.

Two weeks later my long-distance girlfriend dumped me. I'm pretty sure she was already seeing someone else.

Then there was the girl who was staring at me at a show. She even came up and asked me for a light. But I was to shy to say anything to her.

Then there was the girl who kept bumping into me on purpose on the dance floor at another show. Shyness struck again.

Oh and the most recent was a woman I met at a friend's wedding in Seattle. She seemd cool, and she liked me. But I met another woman at that wedding too. Woman #1 lived in Seattle, 2000 miles away from me. Woman #2 lived in Minneapolis, 7 miles away from me. And I wasn't even sure woman #1 was interested in me until after I started dating woman #2. When I finally broke it off with woman #2 (15 months later), I sent an email to woman #1 to see what she was up to. She was seeing someone new. OK, cool, whatever. That summer I started seeing someone here in Minnesota. A month after we start dating, I get an email from Woman #1 because she's single again. Gah!

[Rabbit of Caerbannog]

11. Oh god - where to begin...

One of the more memorable:
HS Band. She sat across from me and I was hot for her - but painfully shy. Then - during a concert I look across and she's smiling at me with the sweetest smile! Flirty eyes, the whole nine yards. I smile back, my heart racing, thinking of what to say to her after the concert.

Then (cue heartbreak music) I realize, after smiling like an idiot across at her, that the whole time she was smiling at the 1st trumpet player directly behind me (who was very popular...)

Sigh. "...looks like it's you and me again tonight...Rosie..."

[Aristus]

14. A woman named Wendy.

She was one of the most blissfully, erotically sexy women I've ever known. We made out a couple of times, but it never went anywhere. She hooked up with a rebound relationship (she was a recent divorcee) and I met the woman who is now my wife. I'm happily married, but I still sometimes wonder......

[Lizz612]

15. Missed her by a few weeks

I had a crush on one of my friends and finally worked up the guts to tell her. She's driving me home after a party and I tell her I have a crush on her. She says "I had a crush on you, if you had told me a few weeks ago.... "
That was early last summer, I still wonder but she has a boyfriend now and I've mostly gotten over it. But over winter break I would see her and she'd say something cute and kind of flirty and sit on my lap when we ran out of chairs and ... and ..

x(

[Throckmorton]

17. I finally married mine,

and now unfortunately, I get to watch her die by measures. Cancer Sucks!!!

[elfwitch]

18. my sympathies to you and your love

Cherish every day.
Never forget to tell her you love her.

[Throckmorton]

44. I tell her I love her at least 50 times a day.

Well, some much for life begins at 40.

[geniph]

20. Throckmorton

that is dreadful. I am so sorry to hear it. You have my profoundest sympathies.

[truthspeaker]

43. On the plus side, she has someone she loves at her side

in her time of need.

My condolences to both of you.

[Throckmorton]

45. True,

and I wouldn't trade the last 12 years for anything. If I have any regrets it is that I didn't act 10 years sooner.

A pointer for the under 20 crowd, don't ask her friends if she is dating anyone, ask her yourself.

[geniph]

19. I've always believed that at the end of life

I'd have less regret for my sins of commission than my sins of omission (no emission jokes, I'm a girl). Always went for it, usually got it, often quickly distanced myself from it. ;-)

[av8rdave]

21. I always had a thing for "Alice" from the Brady Bunch

j/k, actually....a running joke with my wife - when we were dating, and she wanted to know who my celebrity fantasy was, I figured that was the smartest/safest answer!

av8rdave

[Lydia Leftcoast]

22. The first time I really fell hard for someone

He seemed alternately encouraging and avoiding. I finally gave up, with great regret, because I was starting to feel like a stalker.

Eventually, my time at that school ended, and we went our separate ways. A couple of years later, I mentioned "my unrequited love for X" to someone who had known us both.

Whereupon the mutual friend said, "Oh, it wasn't unrequited. He just had hang-ups about sex and didn't want to be tempted."

:bang head against wall:

Postscript: A couple of years after that, he passed through the town where I was living and looked me up. It was clear that he was having emotional problems, and the meeting was very awkward. I had moved on, and that encounter confirmed it.

[camero]

23. It would really have helped me alot

Had I moved to Canada. I might have been able to marry in. But I'm over it.

[populistmom]

24. Yes

:cry: :loveya: :cry:
And that's all I can say about the situation.

[fudge stripe cookays]

25. Sigh....Mitch....

In 1988, I went to a listening party for the new Church album (right as "Under the Milky Way" came out.)

I didn't know a soul, but saw this guy across the room, and with his friend's personable nature, we all finally started talking and having a beer together.

He was SOOOOOO my type...unbelievably tall with long legs, shaggy hair, beautiful eyes, and wearing ripped jeans and boots. He oozed sex. I was completely infatuated.

After awile, we all left to go to 6th Street to another bar to hang out, and Mitch and I made out like crazy at the bar. We were all over each other.

He wanted me to go home with him, and I was so ready to, but I had to work at like 8 the next morning, and he lived down in San Marcos. I weighed the consequences of a night of passion vs. losing my job (at a record store-- not like it paid that much!) and responsible me, the job came first.

I had to say no, even though I explained why. I tried calling and going by the Hastings where he worked after that, but he wasn't interested.

F$&*! F*&%! F*&%!

I should have been gutsy. I bet it would have been indescribable.

[Deja Q]

26. The one and only guy...

Worked for GreenTree Financial in 1994. Our eyes met... I was a sheer idiot... wasn't totally 'out' yet and that didn't help.

If I had known that such intense chemistry was so rare, I would have made an advance or did something differently.

It'd be cool to meet him today...

But I was a real fool...

[Edge]

27. Every freaking day...I see her...

...yet, I do nothing...:cry:...

[NNadir]

47. Well tell her then.

The worst she can say is "not interested."

By the way my (now) wife said that when I told her. I just ignored that little bump in our relationship.

[SOteric]

28. Sure.

It always seems that when you're with someone, that's when all the great people you would have loved to meet when you were unattached and available come out of the woodwork.

It's natural to be attracted to other people, even when you're in a relationship and have a deep love and respect for your SO. It's not necessary, or even a good idea to act on those attractions. But ohYEAH, there have been times when some fella or I was attached elsewhere and he was magnificent, lingering on my mind while I pondered the whatifs.

[Bertha Venation]

29. Christie.

Christie was my dearest friend for many, many years, and besides my Grandma & sisters, the woman I have known longest in my life. Her father was the pastor of my first church and we got to know each other in the church choir.

I never knew if she was a lesbian (I suspected but I never say "I know" unless the person tells me her/himself), and I never knew I was attracted to her until about ten years ago, when it hit me like a flash. The way our lives were, it would never have happened.

I don't miss her as a would've-been lover, but as a friend. I miss her terribly. I think of her every single day. I have tried many times to get in touch with her, but she is not interested. I can only guess that I must've hurt her badly when I was really, really, really fucked up in the late 80s-early 90s.

I miss her.

[baldguy]

30. Donna

Worked with her for a couple years. Finally asked her out, but she gave me the "let's just be friends" line. I've lost track of her, unfortunately.

[DU GrovelBot]

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[GOPisEvil]

32. How about you GrovelBot? Any long lost loves in your past?

;-)

[SOteric]

33. I think he must, or he wouldn't have posted...

prolly too choked up to talk about it, poor guy.

[GOPisEvil]

34. Yeah...I know how he feels.

I REALLY hoping the woman I chatted with tonight is married, or else I'm going to feel like a dope.

[baldguy]

35. Maybe . . .

[DemoTex]

36. Christine Lavin wrote a song about it.

Sure. My long lost love, lost to my Vietnam service, is the niece of Harper Lee (To Kill a Mockingbird). God I loved that girl. Maybe she reads DU. We were ultra-liberal back then (1966-67).

[Enraged_Ape]

42. Warren Zevon has a great song about this topic on his last album

Tu Eres El Amor de mi Vida.

It brings me to tears every time I hear it, to the point that I can't listen anymore.

[thelocalkgb]

37. I still wonder

What could have happened between Dennis Kucinich and myself if only I would have entered into the politicnh.com contest.

[kevinam]

38. funny that this poll question was asked...

Last summer, I kinda met this woman where I worked. She had made a couple of deliveries to the business next door to where I work. I talked with her a couple of times. Before I could "make a move" she apparently left the company she had worked for. I had asked the guy next door for a number or something, but no luck. So last month, I was talking to the guy next door, and he said he ran into her. She told him she was working at a place up the road. I had waffled for several weeks if I should call or something, or just forget about it. So anyway, last night, I called over to the place she works. Fortunately she remembered me, and she seemed atleast semi-receptive to talking. So, we will see, hopefully, she isn't a winger type :D...Kevin.

[NNadir]

39. I did this several times.

Basically because I was very down on myself, and didn't think that if I approached someone they would actually go out with me.

One was the friend of a friend. The friend through who we knew one another told me years later, "I can't believe that you and Barbara didn't sleep together. She thought you were great."

Another woman with whom this happened came on to me after she was married. (I don't do infidelity.)

Finally, I met the woman I ultimately married. I was going through the "secret admirer" trip with her too, but this time got some therapy. With help I was finally able to out myself and said, "I love you." She didn't fall into my arms right away, but persistance and honesty paid off. It's been almost twenty years of bliss.

[wickerwoman]

40. Fate... bad timing... blind stupidity.

My best childhood friend asked me out for dinner a few weeks after we graduated from high school. I didn't know where we were going (figured Wendy's or something) and wore jeans and a t-shirt. He showed up in a suit and took me to the restaurant on top of the Space Needle. About half-way through the meal he said "Bez, I really like you." And, persistantly clueless, I said "I really like you to. Friends?" and gave him my hand to shake. When I got home I told my other friend about it and she said "Well, it's always best when love begins as friendship." I thought she was jerking my chain until I started going over the whole day again in my mind. World's biggest "D'oh!" The poor guy was too embarrassed to ever speak to me again and a few months later I went cross country to college.

I'm pretty over it now though. I'm a confirmed singleton and happy as hell on my own.

[Ganja Ninja]

41. There's been a few but...

I'm not crying about the lost loves. I'm only crying about the ones I should have lost before I started with.

[VOX]

48. Many, and at least two in particular...

S. from Wisconsin and K. in California. Just bad timing, life interruptions and changes, the usual.

But if I *had* gotten together with either one of these women, I might not have met my wife!!!!

Nostalgic at quiet times on occasion, but happy for life. :toast: