CONTEST: Make rude words from my worn-out keyboard keys

[Bossy Monkey]

A, S, M, and O are pretty bad, L is almost invisible, and N actually has a finger-shaped dent worn into the key. ("Dammit, Windows, I said 'NO'!") I, Rearrangement Servant suggests Salmon, No alms, and No slam, but I'm sure you cats can do better.

If I could just get the U to wear out, I'd be Soul Man. If I promote E to worn out (it's also a little faded), I'd be Lame Son, which is much more appropriate (although I guess I'd then have to ship the keyboard to Dubya, since he's lamer).
http://www.wordsmith.org/anagram/

[NYC]

1. I have the same problem.

The letter "e" actually got a hole worn into it. I had to switch that with a funny little key in the lower left that is "En" in a little box.

Mine is Compaq. Is yours?

[Bossy Monkey]

3. It's a Vaio desktop

I just play way too many computer games. The tipoff? The S & L (as in Save & Load). In other words, I play way too many computer games, and cheat. (blushing)

[catpower2000]

2. Well, there's "moan"...

"slam on" (I don't know, it just sounds suggestive)

And that's all I can think of at the moment. :)

Cat