A guide to Boston and the surrounding area, for outsiders:

[bicentennial_baby]

Welcome to Bawstin (Boston )


For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin",
this is a good guideline I hope you will consider
coming to "Beantown" in the near future. For those
who call New England home, this is just plain
great!

Information on Boston and the surrounding area:

There's no school on School Street, no court on
Court Street, no dock in Dock Square, no water on
Water Street .


Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oadah":
Arlington , Berkeley , Clarendon, Dartmouth , etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.

If the streets are named after trees ( e.g. Walnut,
Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.

If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley .

Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is
Comm Ave; South Boston is Southie. The South End is
the South End.

East Boston is Eastie.

The North End is east of the
former West End .

The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them
one night.

Roxbury is The Burry, Jamaica Plain is
J.P.


Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.
Most people live here all their life and still
don't know what the hell is going on with this one.


How to say these Massachusetts city names
correctly:
**Say it wrong, be shunned**

Worcester : Wuhsta (or Wistah)
Gloucester : Glawsta
Leicester Lesta
Woburn : Wooban
Dedham : Dead-um
Revere : Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Tewksbury : Tooks berry
Leominster : Lemin-sta
Peabody : Pee-ba-dee
Waltham : Walth-ham
Chatham : Chaddum
Samoset: Sam-oh-set or Sum-aw-set but nevah
Summerset!


Definitions:

Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.

If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.

"Pop" is Dad.

When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic
WATER.

The smallest beer is a pint.

Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually
fish. If you paid under $6/pound, you got scrod.

It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.

It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.

It's not a spucky, a hero or grinder,... it's a
sub.

It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.

It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.

They're not franks; they're haht dahgs; Franks are
money in Switzahland.

Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites
they drive a "crooza". If you take the bus, you¢re
on the "looza crooza".

It's not a rubber band, it's
an elastic.

It's not a traffic circle, it's a
rotary.

"Going to the islands" means Martha's
Vineyard & Nantucket.

The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins
Things not to do:

Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd .. they'll tow
it to Medfd ( Medford ) or Summahville
(Somerville).

Don't sleep on the Common. ( Boston Common)

Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.

Things you should know:

There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two
courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one
new for each).

The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the
weatha':
"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." - (except in
summer; flashing red means the Red Sox game was
rained out)


The underground train is not a subway. It's the
"T", and it doesn't run all night (fah chrysakes,
this ain't Noo Yawk).

Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am
you'll get a kettle full of beer.

Bostonians.... think that it's their God-given
right to cut off someone in traffic.

Bostonians...think that there are only 25 letters
in the alphabet (no R's - except in "idea" ).

Bostonians...think that three straight days of 90+
temperatures is a heat wave.

Bostonians...refer to six inches of snow as a
"dusting."

Bostonians...always "bang a left" as soon as the
light turns green, and oncoming traffic always
expects it.

Bostonians...believe that using your turn signal is
a sign of weakness.

Bostonians...think that 63-degree ocean water is
warm.

Bostonians...think Rhode Island accents are
annoying.

:hi:

[Gormy Cuss]

1. I have no idear what ya babblin about.

"Bang a left"- oh shit. No wonder Californians look at me funny when I say that.

Rhode Island accents, as well as Fall River accents (think Emeril) are annoying.

[bicentennial_baby]

2. "At the next Dunkins, bang a left..."

:rofl:

Ayup...Although civilized Western MAssholes have no accent, like me :P

[RevolutionaryActs]

3. I'm going adopt some Boston words and start using them

Along with my random bits of British, Australian, Pirate, and Japanese.

No one ever makes the mistake of calling me NORMAL! AAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA

[bicentennial_baby]

5. Do it! Do it!

I've started talking like these freaks since I moved out here...Don't wanna be exposed as a foreigner from the other side of the Baystate. :o

[RevolutionaryActs]

7. Especially "bang a lift" that cracks me up.

Although in regards to driving out there. I've said it once, and I'll say it again. I have never been as scared in my whole life as I was when I was driving around with Kathy in Cambridge. :rofl:

[bicentennial_baby]

9. It's an acquired skill...

I still won't drive outside of Quinzee, Braintree, etc...Oh hell no, I am NOT driving in the city! Through it, sure. In it, FUCK NO! :scared:

[sniffa]

11. Bang a Yooey

That means making a U-turn. :D

Bawstin misses you. :loveya:

[RevolutionaryActs]

13. Around here it's called "flip a bitch."

Why? I'm not sure. :shrug:






And I misssss Bosssssttoooonnnnnn. :cry:

[Redstone]

15. And that's not easy; my mother kept her boston accent until the day

she died, despite not having lived there in over thirty years.

Me? Even after spending so many summers at my Granny's place in Cambridge, I'd have a hard time uncorking a Boston accent.

Redstone

[sniffa]

18. I used to have the harshest Hybrid Boston accent

but after living away from the area for about 6 years, I lost much of it. I still don't think I have my accent but Bi-Baby and others tell me otherwise. But I swear, it used to be much thicker. I remember my first year away at college and talking with some dorm mates about the accent, and I said, "It's really hahd fah me to pronounce my ahhs".... which made the room of people laugh and repeat what I said.

[sasquatch]

19. .

:spank:

[RevolutionaryActs]

21. What?

You don't approve? :shrug:

[sasquatch]

30. No, you just needed your daily dosage

[BarenakedLady]

4. Not fuh nothin but

Rhode Islandahs think you Massholes tawk even funniah. So theah! :P

[bicentennial_baby]

6. Go back to Wunsocket...

:P

[BarenakedLady]

8. Bah Wahhhwick

Wunsocket is too fah and they all tawk French.

[bicentennial_baby]

10. My sistah in laww lives in Cumbalan...

:D

[Redstone]

12. Shouldn't it be "Bahstin,"not "Bawstin?" Not to mention the essential Bahstin shout:

"Ya stoopid Bastid!"

Other than those minor quibbles, good work.

Redstone

[sniffa]

16. Ay, fawk you ya fawkin fawk

;)

[Redstone]

24. And ya stoopid bastid.

Redstone

[sniffa]

14. And blue jeans are dungarees

I can't believe you left that out. :eyes:

[bicentennial_baby]

17. Arsehole...

:rofl:

[Critters2]

20. I never found this one to be true:

Bostonians...refer to six inches of snow as a
"dusting."



Honestly, I never saw such a bunch of whiny sissybabies about winter weather. I used to think, "Come out to the Midwest, and we'll give ya something to bitch about!".

[bicentennial_baby]

22. Er, no...

:wtf:

[Critters2]

25. Trust me, the average Bostonian wouldn't last a week in Iowa,

Minnesota or the Dakotas. Or most of Illinois for that matter.

[bicentennial_baby]

27. Well, a Western MAsshole would...

We get hella snow there... :shrug:

[Critters2]

29. Yeah, but the OP was about the Boston area.

I lived in Newton for 4 years. Whiny sissybabies, even in winters that seemed downright tropical to me.

[bicentennial_baby]

31. yeah, we got that...

:eyes:

Buh-bye...

[Critters2]

33. Are we having a fight?

Cuz, it's not that important to me. Just made a little observation. I didn't remember New Englanders as being so sensitive.

[bicentennial_baby]

34. No, we *were* having a fun thread, and

you decided to come crap on it...utterly lame, imo. :)

[Critters2]

35. I didn't crap on it. Made an observation.

Not sure why you read it as crap. I disagreed--in a lighthearted way--about ONE thing in that list, and you got all pissy. Don't understand it, but that's why God made the ignore button.

[sniffa]

23. But how do you feel about Chicago?

Hearts and minds as usual. :thumbsup:

[Critters2]

26. Heartier souls than Bostonians on this one score.

The first time my car was broken into was a night when no Bostonian would've been outside. :)

[sniffa]

32. Hearts and minds, hearts and minds.

:thumbsup:

[WilliamPitt]

53. No city is as whiny about weather

...as fucking DC.

Unreal.

When I was in DC for the counter-inauguration protests of January '05, a big-ass snowstorm was barrelling eastwards. Before one flake had hit the ground, a district-wide state of emergency was declared...thus allowing cabbies to triple their fares (and I had to get from Dupont Circle to the 5000 block of Connecticut Ave that morning...turned out to be a $50 ride with no snow anywhere in sight)...

...two inches fell later that morning, and everyone ran wild...

...three inches fell by afternoon, and National airport closed down like it was getting bomb threats every other minute...

...so I Amtrak-ed my ass back to Boston...

...where 30+ inches of snow had fallen...

...yet everything functioned, roads were clear, buses ran, planes flew, and cabbies didn't gouge.

So, yeah. DC is the Wuss gold-standard regarding weather. It snows there every year...SEVERAL TIMES...and yet they act like such a thing has never before happened to them...

No. Not bitter.

:banghead:

;)

[mainegreen]

28. Boston summed up for a Mainer:

A nuisance that you have to endure when going to Logan.

[graywarrior]

36. Fuckin' A pissah!

[bicentennial_baby]

37. Um, that's Wicked Pissah, missy

:D

[graywarrior]

44. Not when you're from Lynn

:P

[flvegan]

38. That's a wicked pissah list.

I'm homesick, and wishing for a blizzid.

[bicentennial_baby]

39. Once a MAsshole, ALWAYS a MAsshole

:toast:

[flvegan]

43. Only thing missing is "Jamaica Plain ain't what it sounds like"

and yes, you say the "ch" in Dorchester (Dauchestah).

Oh, and that leaving Logan is a full contact sport, which is why I always flew into T.F. Green in Wauwick.

[jmm]

40. I've always called it "special tea"

A friend once told me of how he kept on hearing that he needed to order the "special tea" in Chinatown so one night after the bars closed he went to a restaurant and asked for special tea (not realizing what it was) and a beer. The staff looked really confused and ended up bringing him a teapot full of beer and a mug full with his food.

[Tektonik]

41. I hear way too many Bostonians down here in SD

I work with one Bostonian and he has no accent at all, but one of my former managers was Bostonian as well and he had a hell of an accent.

The worst was when I was taking the Amtrak to LA when all the Bostonians were taking it up to Anaheim to go see the Bosox play the Angels. At least a quarter of the people on the train were going to that one game. :eyes:

Why are there so many Bostonians taking refuge in socal? :o

[Fox Mulder]

42. I'd get confused if I ever went to Boston.

[Midlodemocrat]

45. Don't sleep in the subway, dahlin, don't stand in the pouring rain.

Right? :bounce:

[SeattleGirl]

46. All I can say is,

if I ever get out your way, you must promise that you will be my seeing eye/ear dog. Otherwise, yoiks! I'd be lost, for sure!

[bicentennial_baby]

47. Oh yah, it'll be wicked cool...

No worries...We'll have a wicked pissah time! :bounce:

[SeattleGirl]

49. Woohoo!

And I can't wait to bang a left! :bounce: :bounce:

[Xipe Totec]

48. It's pronounced Boss Town

at least in my book. :bounce:

[Pied Piper]

50. Thanks for this thread

I've seen parts of it around, but it's nice to have it all in one big bunch. I've been here 17 years, and I just love this place!

Pied Piper

[WildEyedLiberal]

51. Ah, this brings back memories

I only lived in Boston for a summer, but I got pretty attached in that time. Ah nostalgia!

[Kat45]

52. Love it.

:hi:

[jgraz]

54. Just point me in the direction of Mike's Pastries and I'll be fine

Best. Cannoli. Evah!

[krispos42]

55. And the city streets look like a plate of spaghetti

I think the only straight line in the Boston area was the one Dubya was snorting up his nose at Harvard!




Oops! I mean: "I think the only straight line in the Bawstin area was the one Dubya was snortin' up his nose at Hahvid!"

(Did I get it right? I'm from the New York side of Connecticut...)