Idiot Sightings!

[Demeter]

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not. Four is larger than two."
(We haven't used Sears repair since.)

IDIOT SIGHTING:
My daughter and I went to a McDonald's take-out window and our total was $4.25. I gave the clerk a $5 bill and also handed her a quarter. She said, "You gave me too much money." I said, "Yes, I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, saying "We're sorry, but we cannot do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
(Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.)

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi-rural area. Recently a new neighbor called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."


IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the counter person for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."


IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on a corner of the MSU campus buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if I knew what the
buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to "down sizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun! We should do this more often!" Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.



IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "this door is open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us...

[johnnie]

1. These aren't real..are they?

Funny stuff.

[Demeter]

2. One Would Hope Not--But

given the life I've endured, probably they are.

[texas1928]

3. I had a coworker one time ask...

"Did you get your leg cut off?"


I looked at him and said "Nope, I left it in my other pants"


He actually had to think about it.

[DS1]

5. oh, what a privilege that would have been, I should have asked the surgeon

Oh well, there's always the other one :crazy:

[texas1928]

7. Asked the nurse if I could have my leg...

She asked why, I said so I could have a funeral for it.

[Bake]

10. Here's Your Sign!

:rofl:

Bake

[Pierre.Suave]

4. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

oh dear.

That is TOO funny...

:rofl:

[FloridaJudy]

6. The one I love

This always happens to me whenever I'm trying to change a tire. I'll be on my knees with a tire jack, prying off the hubcap and someone always comes up and asks "Got a flat?"

I'm always tempted to reply "No, this is just a hobby".

[texas1928]

8. Best response for that.

Nope, the other three just swelled right up on me.

[Dr. Strange]

9. The first one reminds me of a comic strip I once saw.

Driver gets pulled over for driving 80 miles per hour; she says, "That's not possible, I've only been driving for 15 minutes."

[Bake]

11. This one actually happened to me yesterday

I had been growing my mustache back for about a week, and it was doing pretty well. One of our secretaries said to me, "Oh, are you growing your mustache?"

I said, "Nope. A caterpillar crawled onto my lip the other day and I didn't have the heart to knock him off! Here's your sign ..."

Bake

[allalone]

12. This happened at my office too

ironically at a company named Moran's


IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

[Deep13]

13. Is was at Sears looking at a drill press.

I wanted to know if the table tilted left and right so I could drill holes on an angle. The guy working there said no. (He was wrong, of course, but it did not tilt easily.) So I saw a bolt-on guide that tilted foreward pretty easily. He said that is not what I wanted because it did not tilt left and right.

"Yeah, if only there was some way to rotate the project," I said. Here's your sign.

[billyskank]

14. The stupidest bit about the McDonalds thing is

if the bozo had just keyed the proffered amount of $5.25 into the cash register, it would have told him to give a dollar change. He even has a fucking machine to work it out for him and still manages to be a dumbass.