I feel stupid

[alarimer]

I went to a conference this weekend where I gave my first ever presentation for part of my thesis work. I am a part-time student and full-time employee. So it is not easy. Apparently at this meeting they give out prizes for the best student paper and best professional paper. Now, my employers do not consider me "professional" by that I mean my job is technical- I do the gruntwork basically. I am in grad school because, despite 10 years of experience, I cannot advance apparently without the advanced degree. I am in a literal dead-end.

I had a conversation with some of the people there about this topic: they do not think people like me, "part-time" students, should be eligible for the student prize. I submitted my abstract as a student paper because I am one after all. And no one told me anything different. I didn't expect to win as I am not a gifted speaker and my topic was a little hard to understand. And it was my first one. I don't really care about that. But somehow during this conversation the others gave me the impression that they disdained "part-time" students. We are part-time students because we do not have time to be fulltime and are not willing to go back and give up benefits, etc. I was offended by the tone, as if I was somehow "dabbling". But they also thought that since I have a job already, I have an advantage over fulltime grad students. Granted I have job experience but it has so far not conferred any sort of competitive advantage with my employer. So far, they have chosen (in many cases but not all) people right out of grad school (with little or no experience ad some of whom I have trained as interns) over me, someone with 10 years of experience and some credits towards a graduate degree.

So I am a little irked. It's kind of stupid to be so irked over something so minor but I am thoroughly sick of my employer and their stupid games. If those other people only knew what we "peons" go through with them.

[SPKrazy]

1. That Ivory Tower attitude

is in many grad schools, it was in mine.

I was lucky enough to get a stipend and tuition break, and I wasn't really giving up anything at the time.

To go and get my PhD, I'd likely have to spend a good deal of time "in residence" or as a full time student to get one.

To me that idea that they want to indoctrinate persons into the world of academia is a little unrealistic if someone is going to grad school after working.

Some schools aren't like that and are geared towards working professionals.

Don't feel stupid, no one is a perfect speaker, and that attitude is elitist.

[alarimer]

2. I am probalby just reading too much into it

Being a little tired and stressed out.