John Kerry Grows Beard

[Buba Gar]

John Kerry Grows Beard


Written by Morgan Truce


John Kerry
After winning several key primary elections, front-runner Senator John Kerry appeared before a group of stunned reporters sporting a new beard. When asked about his "new look" Senator Kerry stated, "My wife thought the beard would make me look more presidential."

Several key staffers who asked to remain anonymous, hinted that Sen. Kerry's beard hid some deep lines in his face---and would help American voters to identify Kerry as the one candidate with facial hair. ABC news anchor Peter Jennings quipped that the beard made Sen.Kerry look more "honest".

Senator Kerry will rejoin the primary campaign after a quick trip to Washington where he has tickets to a benefit for Howard Dean at Fords Theater this evening.

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s2i1992

[mose82]

1. Is he Gore? Lincoln? Benjamin Harrison?

At least he'll look less "French"

[Buba Gar]

2. Check the link.

[mose82]

3. Ha ha

Although Lincoln didn't grow his until his second term as pres,
I'd say facing today's media is at least as stressful as the Civil War and Mary Todd combined.

That's why people grow beards, right?

[rockymountaindem]

4. Actually,

he grew the beard prior to the 1860 campaign, supposedly on the urgings of a young girl who sent him a letter telling him to do so. The letter survives today, saying that if Linclon were to grow a beard, he would look so handsome that all the women would tease their husbands into voting for him. There's the power of media for ya!

On edit: Welcome to DU!

[mose82]

5. And of Women...

Wow, I can really see why men didn't want to grant them voting rights all that time. Ironic that Wyoming, most conservative of states, was first to cater to those beard-baiting harpees.

Lincoln definitely set some precidents, beyond facial hair, and embodied issues that are clearly not resolved today. I just recently voted on DU for Edwards as the obvious VP for Kerry. Why? Because he's a southerner. The Republicans (i.e. "Party of Lincoln") have a seeming lock on the southern states. Does this really mean anything? Are they showing delayed and/or subconcious sympathy for the causes they fought against, or does this just indicate cynicism in the political process?

[blackcat77]

6. I grew mine because...

...I was too lazy to shave. That was 30 years ago and I've still got a beard today.