I think relationships are more difficult to sustain nowadays,

[raccoon]

compared to decades ago. Two reasons I can think of:

--we expect more from our relationships.

--used to be, MOST OF THE TIME, men being the "breadwinners," they had the power in the relationship.

Any others?

[MissMillie]

1. well, I've been at the relationship thing for 25 years now

and I've never been good at it.

It's not any harder for me now than it was then. It's always been hard.

My biggest difficulty has been picking a partner worth the effort.

:shrug:

[raccoon]

2. You and me both, sister. nt

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. I agree with your point one, though with a caveat; and disagree with point two.

I would add the word "unrealistically" to modify your phrase - "We unrealistically expect more from our relationships"

As to your second point, having men as the breadwinners didn't sustain relationships - that sustained dishonest, unhealthy relationships in which the woman had no power to leave if she wanted to. (This is not to say that all relationships were dishonest or unhealthy - but it is to say that if man being the breadwinner was the ONLY reason the relationship was sustained, that was an unhealthy relationship).

[raccoon]

4. Having men as the breadwinners sustained relationships due to lack of options.

I didn't say having men as the breadwinners sustained HEALTHY relationships. Very often it didn't.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

5. we live longer too. divorce is less stigmatized (rightly imo).

[Deep13]

6. Thinner skins, higher, unrealistic expectations...

...than previous generations with fewer means than before.

[NeedleCast]

7. Pace of the Western World

Especially in the US. I travel about 75% of the year for work. I date a lot, but it's hard to maintain anything serious with my schedule because there aren't very many women out there who want a guy who's only around 25% of the time. A lot of the girls I've dated THINK it sounds cool at first and say they don't have a problem with my schedule but but when the reality of seeing me at most about twice a month during the "dating" phase sets in, it's not long until I get the "you're a really nice guy, but..." E-mail.

I like the travel too much to give it up though, and I'm not terribly upset about being single. Has it's advantages.

In general though, I think (and I'm speaking mostly of the professional world) that a lot of younger (20 to early 30's, which I fall into the later part of) are under a lot of pressure to put work first. I really don't, because while I like my job, I'd rather be working as a bartender in San Juan or somewhere else that has beaches and year round warmth, but I haven't sacked up and made the move yet. Still, I have a few female co-workers and friends who have a "career first, then a man" attitude, which I think is cool, since I tend to prefer very independent women.

[Heidi]

8. Those are reasons I think relationships are actually easier to sustain.

When I expect only a little, I respect the partner and the relationship much less; too, being economically independent makes for a better balance in a relationship (in my opinion, anyway). Today, women have more choices today than they did, for example, when my grandmother was a young woman (though we must constantly battle to protect our rights), and I can't see how that would be anything but good for a healthy relationship.

I look forward to the day when full marital rights are guaranteed to all and when workplace protections are guaranteed to all; I can't imagine how living in a better, more equitable world could ever be bad for us human beans. :shrug: