Career counseling....has anyone done that before? Was it useful?

[Shine]

I feel as if I'm ready to make a big transition in my life...I'm not exactly sure how that's going to manifest, but lately I've been thinking a lot more about finishing up my college degree and finding out what it would take to make that happen. Long story short, I attended college for 5 yrs, but I never took the final oral exam to get my Politics degree at UCSC. I was lazy, got scared, procrastinated...I've beaten myself up about that for a long time, which hasn't been very productive. Time moved on and I never followed up, even though I went through the grad ceremonies. Over the past 20 yrs, I've been caught up in working, starting a relationship, getting married, having kids and raising them. Not getting my final degree, after all that work, is a big incompletion in my life that I'd like to handle...although it's daunting to consider going back into that world again.

I'm feeling insecure and wondering what the hell I would even do with it once I got it. I don't even know IF I want to go back into the work scene again, truthfully. I am fortunate enough to not HAVE to work outside the home, due to MrShine's income, but I know having that degree would "protect" me, in terms of future potential earning ability, if anything were to ever happen to MrShine and I'd have to go back to work to support our family.

But it's more than just the practical end of it, too. I also want to find something to do in the world which expresses my highest potential. Hell, don't we ALL wanna do that? For the past six years, on and off, I've been a Hospice volunteer visitor, spending time and providing practical/emotional support to the dying and their families. It's been deeply rewarding for me. Sometimes I think maybe I'd like to get into Social Services...I don't know. I've also done Sales and Advertising work in the past. I have an ability to connect with people and I'd like to see where that takes me....but again, I don't know if I necessarily want to go down the big CAREER path, per se.

On the other hand, maybe I'm fine right where I'm at....I don't know...I feel confused and think it might be useful to meet with a career counselor to get some advice, at the very least, and guidance towards what I might want to be when I "grow up".

Anybody got any advice for me? Words of wisdom to share?? Thanks for reading...:hi:

[MANative]

1. A large portion of what I do is career coaching/counseling

What I typically do with my clients is get them to examine 3 categories of their lives to make big career decisions. First is values - what's important to you and why. Second is interest - what do you enjoy/hate and why. Third is skills/abilities/training - what do you know how to do - from both functional and professional skills angles. Then we combine the results and define goals, objectives, and lay out plans and strategies to get there. Typically takes between 3 and 6 months work, depending on the scope of the shift.

Don't work with anyone who only wants to do skill surveys or psych profiles. They're an OK start, but not nearly sufficient in preparing for major career/life changes. Feel free to pm me if you'd like to discuss further.

[Shine]

2. Thank you so very much for your response, MANative

Excellent advice. I really like the idea of examining values, interests and skills. :thumbsup: I think there's a lot to be gained from that sort of organized and facilitated process. Sounds great. I'll keep that in mind if I pursue working with someone out here on the west coast.

I might take you up on your offer to discuss further, via PM. Thanks, again. :hug: :hi:

[MANative]

5. My pleasure, Shine!

:hi:

[Lindsey]

6. Hey there...

I've also done career counseling (for a non-profit organization). I'd first suggest a classic book in this arena called "What Color is Your Parachute." I went back to college as a full-time working adult and received my Bachelor's Degree in 1998 at the age of 41. It was the most wonderful things I've hever done for myself! It sounds like you were so close to having received yours. I'd definitely call the college you attended to see what would need to happen for you to get the degree. It's a hugh plus to have it and in many cases is mandatory (depending, of course, on what you do). Everyone's situation is different so it's wonderful that your S.O. is able to provide for your family monetarily. That enables you to pursue options that are truly your heart's desire but may not pay in a way that would provide adequately for a family. I'm the Associate Dean of a Career College in Orange County that specializes in the Health Care industry. If you have any desire to work in the medical field, the jobs are numerous (with proper training)and for the right person, the rewards are many. Good luck!

[Shine]

7. Thanks for your post, Lindsey.

I've definitely heard of that book. It's been around for a while. :thumbsup: Good suggestion, thanks!

Thanks, as well, for your encouraging story about having gone back yourself. Congrats and kudos to you! :toast:

Yes, I think it's definitely worth finding out what it would take to finish it all up. I agree with you about the sense of personal satisfaction it would bring.

I am extremely fortunate I can use this time, now that the kids are a bit older, to pursue my heart's desire....I just gotta figure out what that is!

Like you said, it's not so much about the money, it's about wanting to feel fulfilled and that I'm making a contribution.

But, as another poster had mentioned, there's certainly value in continuing to do the volunteer work with Hospice I've been doing.

I don't know....but I surely do appreciate your input. Thanks, again! :hi: :hug:

[CBHagman]

11. I could serve as a cautionary tale there.

I worked with a career counselor who specialized in adults in midlife transitions. The problem was I really couldn't afford to do intensive work, and I'll never know whether an intensive series of sessions would have set me on the right road.

I did some interest surveys, including one I found really useful (I forget the name, but it involved ranking tasks according to preference), and had her look at my resume. She looked at my skills and said I looked like a candidate for a public relations job, then looked at my resume and said it didn't tell her anything.

There's more to the story than that, but suffice it to say that the changes I made to my resume did not result in responses from potential employers (I was doing better before I consulted the counselor), informational interviewing didn't work out (It's harder to get people to consent to a meeting or phone discussion, or even respond to an e-mail), and I feel properly, completely stuck, devoid of enthusiasm.

Much of what I've read and heard on the subject of career change assumes everything is in black and white and everything progresses in a straight line. I'm a gray areas kind of person (What do you expect from a liberal?), though.

I've not given up, though. I'm just tired of hearing formulas, like "Invest one month of job hunting for each $10,000 of salary," or "People love to talk about their work!" :eyes: Well, maybe, maybe not.

The status quo is unacceptable, though, and I haven't given up.

[MANative]

12. I absolutely agree that formulas like that aren't

particularly helpful. Every person is different, their needs are different, interests, skills, etc. - all different. That's why I use the process I'm using now - it thoroughly accounts for all the life areas that will have impact on one's career choices and success. You're right that it's not a "surface" process, and it's definitely not black and white. Most of the time, I work with clients for a minimum of 3 months, meeting 30 minutes a week, with "homework" assignments that they complete between sessions. This gets them pretty far down the road. A glance at a resume and a survey or two will not uncover skills that a person doesn't know how to define, but has in their repertoire nonetheless. Some of the most satisfying client experiences are when they uncover how to combine their skills with the things in life that really matter to them. Sadly, many other coaches/counselors that I know don't dig deep enough, or have enough understanding of skill analysis and behavioralism, to help their clients reach those conclusions.

[HERVEPA]

3. My Two Cents

Sounds like you are happy with what you are doing, and there are of course other volunteer opportunities which could also be very rewarding.
By being a volunteer, you probably have a lot more flexibility, and less paperwork and politics and such.
Since you don't need to worry about the money, just expanding what you're doing now might be a good option.
As I'm sure you realize, being paid for your work, if you don't need the money, need not be a big deal. And I sense from this and other posts of yours which I've read that you are already a very centered person with high self-esteem.

As an aside, I sure wish I could quit my job (programmer) and spend my time doing more volunteer work than I do now.

Good luck in whatever you choose.

[Shine]

8. Thanks for your thoughtful and encouraging post, HERVEPA

you're right about the volunteering: it offers a lot more flexibility than a "career" would. It's true, my heart's desire isn't necessarily about making money, it's about figuring out how best to be of service and use my gifts.

I have felt the Hospice volunteering has fulfilled that need, but I can't deny my attraction to the possibility of finishing up my degree, either...even though it's daunting.

I don't know what I'll end up doing....I might jump into Hospice even more next year, we'll see...

:hi: thanks again for your response and kind words! :hug:

[Sanity Claws]

4. Yes, I've done it.

First, I agree with the person in an earlier response who said the psych tests and skill surveys are not worth it. I did that and it really did not help.
Second, I just did some last year and it helped me sort out what I needed from a job in terms of values, etc. The counseling went about it indirectly by asking me about things I've enjoyed in the past and so forth.
Good luck to you in your transition.

[kay1864]

9. Definitely check into non-profits

Less $$ than private--often it's sliding-scale fees based on your income.

And call them even if they have "Catholic" or "Jewish" or whatever in their names--usually they're not restricted to specific denominations.

[TrogL]

10. They nailed it exactly

Of course things would have worked out better if I'd actually listened to them.

They said "TV repairman". I'd have been a natural and set for life.

Nothing would do but I wanted to be a teacher. :rofl:

Now I fix computers.

[skygazer]

13. I've never talked to a career counselor

So I can't offer any advice there.

But I can say this. I think you have listed a number of valid reasons for your desires in your post. While we never, ever want to think about anything happening to our partners or our relationships, sometimes it does happen and its important to be able to care for our families. In addition, its important to be fulfilled in our own lives - and I know family is wonderfully fulfilling but we all wonder what we're capable of outside of that.

Personally, I also think a decision like that is such a positive example for your kids.

Whatever you do, you have such a wonderful empathy and a gift for connecting with people - anything to do with those qualities, you'd be incredible at. And you don't have to know for sure what you want to be - you can always dabble in some classes and try to get an idea what interests you. Things have a tendency to spark that way, I find.

:hug: :loveya: