How many people really know you?

[skygazer]

I mean, really know what the real you is like, wart and all? Do you have a lot of people in your life who know you intimately or just one or two? Or none?

I have one very close friend who pretty much knows me inside and out and that's about it. Even my boyfriend doesn't know me like that, though he comes close.

Just in a reflective mood...

[Ptah]

1. My ex-wife.

I like this kind of question.

Thought provoking without controversy.

Thanks.

[skygazer]

2. "Thought provoking without controversy"

That means it will probably sink like a stone. :rofl:

Thanks for the compliment, though. :hi:

[Ptah]

12. Well, lets see how long it lasts.

How long have you known this friend?

I've known my ex since 1979.

:hi:

[skygazer]

18. Oddly, I've only known him since 1993

But it's one of those cosmic, karmic things that feel like I've known him since about 432 B.C.

[Ptah]

23. Does this friendship make you feel safer?

I'm not sure that's really what I mean.

Is his knowledge of you a reassurance?

words fail me.

[skygazer]

25. I think I know what you mean

And yes, I think it does. He's the person who I always know will completely understand, even when I'm not sure I understand. You know? And that's a comfort, to have someone like that. Who doesn't judge, just nods his head and says, "Yeah, I know."

You know? :)

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. My dear skygazer...

Only a few people really know me intimately...

And I don't mean in any physical sense, either...

Maybe three or four, at most...

And one of those is my therapist...

Reflective moods are often very good, IMHO...

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

4. Lelapin

Reyd Reid Reed, Thomcat and that's about it. Others know what I want them to. I don't let too many people get too close. Safer that way. :(

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. Maybe one.

Yet all are willing to judge.

[skygazer]

19. And the ones that don't know you are most willing to do so

Funny how that works.

[AlCzervik]

6. more than 1 and less than 5.

[Zornhau]

7. only LynzM does

I'm really lucky there :D

on edit: I rather like that she is the only one too

[TK421]

8. Not many people know me, I think...

But then again, I don't think I have ever allowed myself to come close to anyone. For the amount of time that involved, they didn't get to know much.

[Solon]

9. Only one, really, outside of family...

I keep people at a distance, its...easier that way.

[johnnie]

10. A lot

I don't hide much of who I am. I basically am alright with myself and don't try to hide anything because I don't feel there is much to hide. My lyrics to my songs are personal and I speak my mind so pretty much everything is out in the open. I'm not saying everybody likes me, but I don't let people down because they expect what they expect and I don't promise anything more.

Some people think I am strange, but the only difference between me and them is that I don't hide my "strangeness" like other people do therefor I don't suffer from it like other people do.

[skygazer]

16. You're a breath of fresh air, johnnie

I admire people like you. I'm all right with who I am but I am fearful of letting people in. It makes me very uncomfortable to feel like anyone knows my vulnerable places.

But then, I am psychotic. That's why I hang around the Lounge. :P

[johnnie]

24. If you expect things from people, then they can hurt you

I know where you are coming from, but the only reason people don't want to "let people in" is because they think they can use what they know to hurt you. But if you don't expect anything from people, they can't hurt you.

[skygazer]

26. But if you're not expecting anything from them, are you really letting them in?

That's a thought-provoking comment and I'm not really arguing with it, more trying to wrap my mind around it. I think I'll be pondering that for a while.

Thanks for the insight. :hi:

edited because I'm a dork and can't spell. :dunce:

[johnnie]

28. "But if you're not expecting anything from them, are you really letting them in?"

No, not at all. I just mean that if you are afraid to let someone in it is usually because you think that person could use something they know about you and hurt you. I guess I am just saying that if you don't expect someone to *not* hurt you then letting them know you isn't a risk.

A lot of times we want people to give back what we think we are giving in a relationship of any kind. When the other person doesn't give back what we think they should, we feel hurt. If we can accept a persons friendship or anything like that with "no strings" then we don't set ourselves up for that hurt. I'm not saying I am perfect when it comes to this, but I try to base my relationships (friends, family ect..) on that philosophy.

So then, going back to your original question, I don't feel vulnerable by letting people know what they know about me because I don't worry about being hurt by anyone by them exploiting my "personal" side because just about everyone knows who I am and what I'm like.

Sorry about all the words..lol

[skygazer]

32. Don't be sorry - that was a good explanation

And I think I see what you mean. Some good food for thought there - I guess people do tend to be kind of selfish in their relationships. Maybe a little less of that and a little more acceptance of them as they are is a better thing all around. Hmmmm.....

[Gonzo Gardener]

34. That's *it* right there, Johnnie.

I've got the same outlook on relationships. No expectations and what you see is what you get, take it or leave it. I am shy at first, but there are many people who know me well... I don't take any one of them for granted. Unfortunately, I live 2000 miles from most of them.

:hi:

[lost-in-nj]

11. No one

not in this chapter of my life

maybe a year or so ago....

not now....

lost

[unsavedtrash]

13. my ex

that's all.

[triguy46]

14. Wife knows me best. But I still have some things that don't see the light of day...

but that is my problem, not hers.

[Bunny]

15. No one.

I do not think that's a good thing, but there you have it.

[DarkTirade]

17. Very few.

I'm a pretty open person, I wouldn't mind changing that. Unfortunately there are very few people out there who CAN know me.

[SPKrazy]

20. I have one friend who knows me very well

he and I relate very well and I can tell him anything

I am working on letting someone else know me, but it is hard to do at a distance

:shrug:

but it is happening.

:hi:

[bamacrat]

21. Not counting my parents, ...... 1 maybe 2.

But definitely one.

[Chovexani]

22. My girlfriend.

That's about it.

[DainBramaged]

27. A handful of loyal Bramaged friends

[femmocrat]

29. No one. I don't even recognize myself most of the time.

[Oeditpus Rex]

30. My ex, and maybe Connonym, my BFF

She may know more of me than I realize.

[Tektonik]

31. No one

Not my relatives nor my friends

[Pacifist Patriot]

33. My twin sister

My husband and I are intimate, but he doesn't know me as well as she does. He would come second although even she does not know anything and everything about me. I think we should all have our safe private place.

[lizziegrace]

36. Are you identical twins?

I have a twin sister but we're fraternal and as different as two people can be.

:hi:

[Pacifist Patriot]

38. Yep, except personality-wise we're very different.

Our Myers-Briggs profiles only match on Introvert. Hated each other as teenagers and only became close when she divorced her first husband 12 years ago.

It's neat. We host a joint holiday party for about 100 people every year and it's so fun to see people who don't know we're twins freak out. I officiated a wedding this afternoon where the mother of the bride was an identical twin. I was tickled beyond belief at how much these two fifty-five year old women looked alike short of hair color (same with my sister and me).

[lizziegrace]

39. I always wanted to have an identical twin

instead of fraternal. We look so different, most people don't even know we're sisters.

I'm glad you've found each other again. :hug:

[stuntcat]

35. one, my best friend

He lives so far away but we talk a few times a day anyway.

[qwertyMike]

37. 4

Not including myself

[reyd reid reed]

40. I don't know that anyone really does.

There are a few that come close, but I can turn on a dime so what was true of me yesterday might not be today.

[lizziegrace]

42. Hey sweetie...

:hug:


You've been missed so much. :(

[reyd reid reed]

43. Hiya, sweetie!!!

I'm sorry I've been out of touch...I've missed you.

:(


:hug::hug::hug:

[zingaro]

41. A few come close

but nobody really really has full knowledge.

For various reasons, most of which are trust-based and entirely my own issues to overcome.

[fizzgig]

44. a handful of people

my dad and a few of my girlfriends...they pretty much know me inside and out

[BreweryYardRat]

45. None, including family members.

They know parts of me, but they don't know the whole.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

46. people know different aspects of me. the gf priyank differs from the best friends priyanka

differs from student priyanka etc

[China_cat]

47. None living.

[bicentennial_baby]

48. 3 people...

My brother

My Ex/Best friend of 17 yrs

My husband

[BuddhaGirl]

49. I feel fortunate

most of my and my husband's circle of friends know me very well, and I'm very happy about that. We've all done a lot of internal and spiritual work together and are pretty much aware of each other's processes. We can talk about pretty much everything!

[dropkickpa]

50. 2

[BarenakedLady]

51. One

Just one.

[Lyric]

52. Only one.

ThinkBlue1966.

[Inchworm]

53. One for me

She loves me warts and all. :loveya:

:hi:

[Phillycat]

54. 4: husband, best friend, therapist, and AA sponsor.

Pretty much everyone else can kiss off. :D

[HERVEPA]

55. Son, daughter, ex-girlfriend (and current friend)

Ex-wife of 30 years, not so much.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

56. I'm not sure that anybody knows me inside and out, or close to it.

2 friends come pretty close; a former teacher is up there as well. Most people see various parts of me but not the whole picture.

[Redstone]

57. Christ, not even me, since you asked.

Redstone

[bluhoodie]

58. Not a one

Not my relatives nor my friends. Pretty sad, because as someone else said, I too am a pretty open person. Relatives have never even tried to figure me out - or get to know the real me. Everyone is focused on themselves and can't get past their own faulty interpretations, prejudices. Had a friend in recent years who I'm sure thinks she knew me, but never really did; couldn't get past her own projections, expectations, and ego. :eyes:

Had an excellent, mature friend in the '70s-'80s who knew the real me pretty well. :hug: But those times are past.


I feel really sad that no one has tried harder to understand me, because I work pretty hard at observing and understanding others. Maybe I'm hanging around the wrong people.

Ya think? :shrug:

[skygazer]

60. Maybe

I don't know. I've pretty much always felt like the person standing in the corner watching everyone else have a good time. I don't so much anymore, I think because I've become a lot more certain in myself. But who and what I am, it took me close to 35 years to find someone who could relate to that.

:hug:

[Jamastiene]

59. No One.

If I let anyone really know me, they'd find out my plans for world domination, er, oops. :P