Can you indulge me for a minute? I need someone to talk to.

[terrya]

Well, I'm doing some thinking right now. And I'm realizing that:

I'm DROWNING in debt right now and can barely make ends meet.

I'm feeling shitty because I have to call my mom today and tell her I can't make it down this weekend for her birthday (and knowing that she's feeling awful because she still misses Dad terribly). Because, I don't have the money to make the trip Downstate.

Realizing that the goal of moving to Toronto to be with my b/f, Doug, is getting increasingly out of reach for me. And worrying that Doug might one day just say "fuck it, it's not worth this" and end this relationship completely.

And to top it all off...the waves of nausea that I'm experiencing right now seeing that ugly, evil, homophobic to the extreme George W. Bush's face on the front page of the Chicago Tribune this morning.

I know there are a LOT of people who have it much worse off than me. And my heart goes out to them and I wish I could help them.

Just a bit of self pity and whining, which I know I shouldn't indulge in.

Thanks,
Terry

[arwalden]

1. Terry... Check Your Inbox.

-- Allen

[terrya]

10. Thank you, Allen.

For the advice on both things. The one was taken care of immediately...along with an apology to the admins.

Terry

[soleft]

2. Hey Terry, I had a lot of problems with debt too

Which I also have had to tackle head on because I want to move in with my girlfriend. One of the things I had to do was sell my car. Of course I live in a major city with tons of public transportation, so it was something I could do, I just didn't want to.

But anyway, there are resources, I used Ameridebt but I think there are better organizations out there.

The bottom line is things have gotten a lot better, there is a way to other side and I wish you much courage and strength because your dreams are entirely worth the effort.

And Bush is leaving soon, so get ready to party.

[terrya]

11. Thank you, soleft.

There are some wonderful people here at the DU. Yourself most definitely included.

I'll cling to your optomism about Bush. I'll be in the mood to party. :-)

Terry

[Robb]

3. You always make me smile

when I'm feelin' like a dope, so. Let's see.

...Ahem. (does stretches)

Ah, I got nothin'. All I can say is the beauty of really crappy days is you have to trust that things are gonna get better after them. And even if they don't that next day, that just stretches the old karmic rubber band even farther. The bounce-back will be grand!

And in the meantime there's bad philosophy from people who mean well! :hug:

[roguevalley]

4. Sweetie, do something. Call any credit card companies and tell them that

you cannot pay off your debt with the interest running. Tell them that you would like a freeze and then negotiate. They are very nice
usually and if you tell them you are at wits end, or your parents are ill and need you <G> then you could get a bunch of that kind of debt excused. <You will have to pay taxes on it but that's later when you are on your feet> Call all your creditors and negotiate. They can only tell you no. Most won't. Better what they can get than nothing.

Don't give up hope. Take charge of your life and you will feel SOOOO
much better.

Hugs, honey.

RV

[terrya]

9. Again, some wonderful advice.

I may do the credit counselling route. Debt management. It will consolidate my payments into one...and I'll have the creditors off my back.

Thank you.

HUGS, sweetie.

Terry

[GOPisEvil]

5. Hey Terry...I've been in your shoes.

I've been hopelessly in debt, fearing the telephone (for bill collectors). It weighs on you, and you think about it all the time. Seriously, start making plans to get yourself out. Go talk to consumer credit counseling. That was my first step. When even they were unable to assist me, I decided to go the bankruptcy route. It was a painful decision at first, but as soon as the phone calls stopped, and I could actually keep the money I was making, I felt a lot better. Sure there are penalties to pay (such as having crappy credit for 10 years) but I'm half-way through my 10 years, and it has flown by. I'm able to get some credit (at high interest) but I pay on time, and don't over-extend myself anymore.

Seriously, take some control over your debts, and life will be much better for you - promise.

[terrya]

8. Thank you, GOPisEvil.

I have felt that I'm the only one in this situation. It's nice to know that there are others who have been in this situation, and can offer some wisdom about what to do to get out of it.

You've offered some very good advice, my friend. Thank you.

Terry

[Rowdyboy]

6. Cry on my shoulder all you want....

Debt is nauseating enough in itself. I had to go through bankruptcy in my 20's (it was much easier then) and being broke for most of my 30's. Never really got out of debt until my mom passed away and left the four of us kids her house (wish I still had the debt AND my mom). I KNOW about feeling guilt!

If Doug's the one, he'll hang on. If not, "que sera, sera". I didn't even have a real boyfriend until I was 35, but damn did I get a good one then! Things get better, just give them time and don't give into despair.

As far as GWB's disgusting face-DON'T READ THE PAPER OR WATCH THE NEWS. I haven't seen a national newscast since Dec 12, 2000 when the Supreme Court pulled the plug on democracy. We watch Simpson's reruns instead-more content and better storylines.

:thumbsup:

[terrya]

7. Thank you, Rowdyboy.

I may take that generous offer up. And if you feel like it, you do the same. The crying on the shoulder offer works both ways.

I know Doug is the one. I hope he hangs on.

I may have to stop reading the paper. I hate to do that, as I do like to keep informed. But I'm a Bush hater and I wear that badge with honor. But it makes me sick seeing what's happening to this country today.

Thank you,
Terry

[Lisa0825]

12. I know how you feel about the debt and the relationship....

My ex lives in Mexico, and for almost two years, we planned for me to move there, but neither of us ever got our financial shit together enough to make it happen. But that wasn't why we broke up. If you're both really committed to making it work, keep trying.

I'm sorry you're feeling down. We all get that way at times. Hang in there.