What's the best way to stop negative self-thinking?

[Connonym]

Other than a shrink because my insurance doesn't kick in until January...not looking for medical advice per se, just wondering what has worked for you in the past to help stop negative thinking from making you miserable?

[KitchenWitch]

1. working on catching myself mid thought and focusing on more positive things.

[LaraMN]

2. I audibly say to myself, "shut UP, Lara!"

Usually not in front of people, to avoid establishing a new set of problems.

:D

[Kutjara]

3. The realization that, although I may be an idiot,...

...everyone else is just a teensy bit stupider. Understanding that we live on Planet Schmuck was my ticket to Nirvana.

[IndianaJones]

4. Stuart Smalley tapes. nt.

[Haole Girl]

5. When I am able to...

..I try to be around others who are positive...

and avoid negative thinking people.

Good luck. I know it's hard.

[Fox Mulder]

6. I'm still trying to figure that out.

[stlsaxman]

7. ice cream.

nothing else matters and i love myself.

[Danger Mouse]

8. Distraction works for me.

You can't think negative thoughts if you're not thinking at all!

[Oeditpus Rex]

9. Besides the little white pills, you mean?

I give myself permission to be a flawed human.

:hug:

[LoveMyCali]

10. I try to remember to talk to myself like I would any other

friend. I wouldn't tell a friend that he/she was a screw up and might as well give up so why should I say it to myself. It takes practice but I have gotten much better about it.

[SPKrazy]

11. Figure out what it is that drives it

and do what others have suggested, change what you are thinking, maybe more importantly what you are doing.

For instance, if there are certain situations where you think negatively more, change up your routine.

If you are a worrier, set aside time to worry, contract with yourself to keep the worrying within that time.

(sounds silly, but try it :shrug:)

other than that, prozac or that type of meds can make a difference in eliminating negative thinking as well.

Depends how severe it is and whether you've given therapy a good try.

Although the tendency is to push meds beccause they do work quickly.

:hi:

I know no advice

:D

[Wapsie B]

12. Really stressful exercise for one thing.

Take the frustration out on the free weights and the hiking path. All the positive imagery is one thing but I have to totally push my mind and body through the anger.

[Droopy]

13. I sometimes obsess over past mistakes and it makes me feel terrible

But as I was driving down the road one day and one of those attacks came over me I just told myself, "Stop it. You're only human." My mind cleared.

Now that wasn't a permanent repair and I still have those instances of self doubt and self loathing, but things are getting a little better. I care about myself more and I've dropped a lot of weight, which I really needed to do. I'm getting out more and meeting new people. I'm trying to get my mind off of myself and starting to care more for the concerns of others. I just needed to get out of myself. :)

[The Wielding Truth]

14. Listen to Joni Mitchell or some music you liked when you

were independent of worry. Then find some space and dance.

[LostInAnomie]

15. Whenever you find the secret, let me know.

[Critters2]

16. Read the book _Feeling Good_ by David Burns, MD

Lots of tips on controlling negative thinking. Consider also going to an Emotions Anonymous meeting.

[Fleshdancer]

18. I agree....

David Burns also has a workbook for CBT that you can buy at the bookstore. It really helps.

[kwassa]

31. "Feeling Good" is a great, great book.

It is about exactly that, controlling false and negative thoughts.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. It is about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, which is described below in a more clinical manner.

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=About_Treatments_and_Supports&template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=7952

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is an empirically supported treatment that focuses on patterns of thinking that are maladaptive and the beliefs that underlie such thinking. For example, a person who is depressed may have the belief, "I’m worthless," and a person with a phobia may have the belief, "I am in danger." While the person in distress likely holds such beliefs with great conviction, with a therapist’s help, the individual is encouraged to view such beliefs as hypotheses rather than facts and to test out such beliefs by running experiments. Furthermore, those in distress are encouraged to monitor and log thoughts that pop into their minds (called "automatic thoughts") in order to enable them to determine what patterns of biases in thinking may exist and to develop more adaptive alternatives to their thoughts. People who seek CBT can expect their therapist to be active, problem-focused, and goal-directed.

Studies of CBT have demonstrated its usefulness for a wide variety of problems, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders, personality disorders, eating disorders, substance abuse disorders, and psychotic disorders. While a full description of the treatment and presenting problems for which it is useful is beyond the scope of this brief overview, a brief summary of several treatments will be presented.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

17. Read "A Guide to Rational Living"

By Albert Ellis, Ph.D.

It's the granddaddy of the shrink-written self help books. First published in 1960.
Still in print, has chapters dealing with other peoples' expectations of you, other peoples' opinions of you, and so forth, and changing your thoughts.

The method is called Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy. Google "Albert Ellis Institute" for more information.



Also google "Switchwords". Those are words you can repeat to change your mental attitude in many different situations.

See: www.switchwords.com

[Heidi]

19. Not all negative thinking is harmful. It's irrational negative thinking that's harmful.

For example, if you're standing in the middle of a railroad crossing and there's a train barreling toward you, it might be "negative" to think, "If I don't move, and quickly, I'm gonna get hit by that train and very likely die as a result." But that's a rational assumption based on the facts and that "negative" thought might save your life.

However, if you're simply standing near a railroad crossing and there's a train coming down the tracks, it would be irrational to think, "If I don't move, and quickly, I'm gonna get hit by that train and very likely die as a result." That's irrational and harmful negative thinking, in my opinion.

For me, figuring out what exactly it is that I fear, and which of of my "negative" or fear-based thoughts are rational or irrational, is the first step to overcoming fear.

:hi: Connonym! :hug:

[Common Sense Party]

20. I just avoid thinking altogether.

So far, it's working out.

[Connonym]

21. I hate to admit this

but I've spent most of the weekend self-medicating and/or sleeping because otherwise it hurts too much. For the record, it's my kids' week with their dad so I'm not neglecting them or anything. But I'm actually sort of scaring myself with how I'm feeling.

[mzteris]

29. without the kids -

well - if you're like a lot of women (me) - without your MOM duties, you don't really know what to DO with yourself.

It's almost like you don't know WHO you are without others to define you.

Ok - so maybe I'm projecting a little bit. . .

Next time it's "his" week, schedule things TO DO. Things you HAVE to do. Otherwise, yup, laying on the couch, watching old movies, and drinking too much. Staying up, sleeping in, wearing your jammies all day. . .

:hug:


Find some things for YOU and just for you. YOU time is very important.


About those negative thoughts, they're hard to shake, too, especially if you grew up with a critical parent and had a critical husband. You're so used to be told how you screwed up and how stupid you are, without them around you do it yourself because it's become such a part of you.

You are NOT stupid. You are NOT a screwup. You're a smart vibrant woman who's had a hard row to hoe in life. It's about time you concentrated on YOU. Liking yourself. Doing things for yourself - for once - and not always putting everyone else FIRST.

:hug:

[Fleshdancer]

30. Now is your time to end this cycle

By the way, admitting this is a great start.

Are you familiar with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? The book titled Feeling Good by David Burns helped me understand CBT and it helped me pretty quickly. You can easily google CBT, but in a nutshell, it's a way to replace harmful, negative thoughts and feelings with realistic, healthy ones. Here is a good overview: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy.

Again, please take a moment and go to your library or bookstore and, at the very least, read the first few chapters to see if it's something you would like to pursue: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy.

Earlier this year I found a CBT workbook that was helpful as well: http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Days-Self-Esteem-David-Burns/dp/0688094554/ref=pd_sim_b_title_1

I love CBT because after doing the techniques for a short period of time, I felt better and I can do it on my own without paying money that I don't have to seek professional help.

Another thing that helps me is to think about what I would tell my daughter if she came to me and expressed the same emotions I feel. Then I do my best to parent and nurture myself the same way I would if it were her instead...which is, in itself, a form of CBT I think.

You can kick this feeling. If it seems too overwhelming to do it on your own, then please seek help. Self-medicating with depressants will only make things worse...I've been there too and I know how much it sucks.

If you just need to talk and/or vent, PM me anytime. :hug:

[Qanisqineq]

22. This is one of my biggest problems

so if you find a solution, let me know! I tend to dwell I past mistakes or things I should have done or should have said or should not have done, etc. Or how I feel like my life is going too fast and nothing I've wanted to do in my life has been done yet.

Yikes, I need to stop or I'll get bummed out. But know that you are not alone and I hope you can find your way out of this.

[MilesColtrane]

23. ...electrodes to the genitals. n/t

[Perry Logan]

24. A mantra can be very useful. nt

[NoSunWithoutShadow]

25. I tell myself over and over "think happy thoughts".

It's simplistic but it helps.

[tekisui]

26. Stop thinking.

[raccoon]

27. I have the same problem. I have a loud, constant, PITA inner critic.

I tell myself sometimes, when I have these negative thoughts about myself, that it's not that important (when it's not), I'm only human, etc.

But it's hard work, IMO, harder than quitting smoking.

[Deep13]

28. What do you mean? What's "negative self-thinking?" n/t

[Ivan Sputnik]

32. Learn to meditate

And I don't mean TM. You can learn simple forms of mantra meditation from a book or a CD, or maybe even from a website.

[Bossy Monkey]

33. Argue with it. If necessary, just say "Stop!" punctuated with a punch to the wall if this helps

Best strategy is to take whatever area you're having negative thoughts about and recast them in terms like, Sometimes it's difficult for a person to (do whatever you're castigating yourself about). More such advice found here: http://books.google.com/books?id=crKRAAAACAAJ&dq=Martin+EP+Seligman&prev=http://www.google.com/search%3Fhl%3Den%26q%3Dmartin%2Bseligman%26btnG%3DGoogle%2BSearch&sa=X&oi=print&ct=result&cd=1&cad=author-navigational
Although Google lists it as a 2006 book, that's a reprint. It's at least 10 years old and would be in any library, and is supremely helpful.

In the "worked for me, YMMV" department, you may want to give up wheat. I did a month or so ago and a host of unexplained anxieties just evaporated. Not medical advice and as I say, your mileage may vary.

[idgiehkt]

34. realize that if someone else talked to you the way you talked

to yourself (in your head)you'd probably punch them...then vow to punch yourself if it happens again. ;).

[lildreamer316]

35. EFT

www.emofree.com