As if the fucking infantile "veggie" plague wasn't enough. Now we have, according to

[Redstone]

commercials from the Quiznos Subs chain, something sandwich-like called a "Sammy."

I swear to God, I'd wear a goddamn DRESS in public before I would, in public where everyone could hear me, order anything called a "Sammy."

Especially if it was a "Veggie Sammy," which I am sure is on the menu.

No wonder everything has gone to hell in a handcart in this country. We have NO dignity anymore.

I can see it now:

Customer enters sandwich shop, and clerk asks: Doesa wuzza woogums wanna Veggie Sammy-Bammy for lunchy-wunchies today?

Customer replies: Woogums wanna a veggie-weggie Sammmy-Bammy for happy lunchy-wunchy today, yes, yes, with a latte watte to go with woogums back to worky-lurkey to eat at my desky-wesky.

Excuse me while I go barfy-warfy.

Redstone

[mainegreen]

1. I order 'poor boys'.

:shrug:

Never heard of a Sammy though.

[Redstone]

5. Not "Po' boys?" Oh, I forgot you're in the North. You're safe; this is a cutesy invention

of a "sandwich" shop chain, just hoping to ride the gravy train of cutesiness that has apparently conquered our country.

I doubt that "sammys" with "veggies" are going to be invading yout neck of the woods anytime soon.

Can I move there, please?

Redstone

[mainegreen]

8. Sure, but you'll need to increase your whoopie pie intake.

Otherwise we might reject you.


Po' Boy??

:rofl:

[Redstone]

16. Well, yeah, they did start out as po' folks's food. Not cutesy, just descriptive.

Redstone

[Beaverhausen]

49. What's a yout?

[Redstone]

60. It's a "your," poorly typed. But it SHOULD be a word, shouldn't it? Any ideas?

Redstone

[Beaverhausen]

62. I'm guessing you never saw "My Cousin, Vinny"

:shrug:

Vinny Gambini: It is possible that the two yutes...
Judge Chamberlain Haller: ...Ah, the two what? Uh... uh, what was that word?
Vinny Gambini: Uh... what word?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Two what?
Vinny Gambini: What?
Judge Chamberlain Haller: Uh... did you say 'yutes'?
Vinny Gambini: Yeah, two yutes.
Judge Chamberlain Haller: What is a yute?

Vinny Gambini: Oh, excuse me, your honor...

Vinny Gambini: Two YOUTHS.

[Redstone]

70. Hey, thanks. So it IS a word. And I should have known that, having lived

in Philadelphia.

Redstone

[Mojambo]

2. I am SO with you on this one.

I get so fucking aggravated when I hear someone use the word Sammich.

Sammy is even worse!

[Fire Walk With Me]

12. You're kidding... I didn't connect "sammy" with "sandwich".

Sammich I can stand, and use it myself sometimes.

But "sammy"... No.

[flvegan]

3. Are you suggesting that wearing a dress in public is something you're unlikely

to do, but wearing one in private is not?

:popcorn:

[Redstone]

10. No. "I'd sooner wear a damn dress" is kind of a universal statement for me.

Means in any situation, it does. I did live Down South (the real South, Florida not included, though no insult meant by that)for a few years and it rubbed off on me.

Redstone

[flvegan]

41. Everything I eat is "veggie..."

Crying is looking pretty good now.

[Redstone]

52. Ahem. The stuff you eat is not "veggie," it's vegan, and despite the problem I have

with the way you guys pronounce that word, there's A BIG difference.

Somehow, I don't picture you ordering a "veggie sammy" under any circumstances.

Redstone

[Ptah]

4. I know you eschew smilies, but I have to share this one with you tonight.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

6. OK....

I think I just peed a little...

[Redstone]

26. America: The Revolution is over, and the Teletubbies have won!

Redstone

[YellowRubberDuckie]

30. I totally agree with everything you say nearly all the time....

And some of those times, I laugh so hard Diet Cherry 7UP comes out of my nose.
Duckie

[caty]

7. I like Subway better

anyway. Quiznos seems to be trying to be like Panera Bread and they seem over priced to me.

http://www.subway.com/subwayroot/index.aspx

http://www.panerabread.com/

[AlCzervik]

9. That makes me want to never, ever go to Quiznos.

I also feel the same way about the "oh look at the beer bottle pictures" restaurant.

[supernova]

11. Are they hooking up with Rachel Ray?

"sammy" is one of her primary expressions.

and yes, it's just as irritating to hear it from a (supposedly) grown woman.

:x(

[AlCzervik]

14. we watched her show the other night and tried to predict and imitate the

"Haha", my daughter won.

[Initech]

13. New rule: Businesses must stop with the baby talk.

It's 2007. You're a rapacious, multi-billion-dollar corporation, not a stuffed animal. This week, Yahoo! announced a deal with Bebo, which will help it compete with Google. I had to Wiki Bebo to find out it's kind of like Friendster and Woofy. Gosh, I hope they can all band together and save Fuzzleton Village from the evil Snorgs! Grow up! If I want to see uncaring money-making machines with cutesy names, I'd go to a strip club.

[Redstone]

18. Thank you so much for that post. You made my point for me, and did so

better than I could have done myself.

Redstone

[Initech]

25. See my reply below.

[supernova]

22. Nominate that post for a DUzy!

:rofl:

[Initech]

24. It's not an original...

I stole it from Bill Maher. Shhhhhhhhhh!!!!

http://www.hbo.com/billmaher/new_rules/20070921.html

[supernova]

32. Too bad!

It is funny though.

Thanks for the laugh. :thumbsup:

[Redstone]

39. Maybe YOU stole something from Maher, but I did not. I only post

original content, right from this specific fevered brain.

Redstone

[MountainLaurel]

43. Along those same lines

No more spelling a hard "c" sounds with a "k" (Kwik Kopy, I'm looking at you).

[Redstone]

61. What, no more "Kountry Kitchens?" Why do you hate America?

Redstone

[MountainLaurel]

74. Just a godless commie pinko, I guess

:shrug:

[GoneOffShore]

15. I blame Rachel Ray!

Stupid, smarmy, talentless drone.

“You’re doing just fine. You don’t even have to chop an onion--you can buy it already chopped. Aspire to nothing…Just sit there. Have another Triscuit…Sleep….sleep….”

[wicket]

47. Me too!

[trof]

58. There ya go. Sammies. The very IDEA!

blah

[greatauntoftriplets]

17. Some people in Chicago (where I live) called sandwiches sammiches....

I have no clue why.

It gets shortened to sammies.

:shrug:

[Redstone]

20. "Sammiches" are a regionalism. "Sammies" are baby-talk. Big difference.

Redstone

[bluethruandthru]

36. Then what are Samwiches?

Other than one of those mispronunciations that drive me nuts? Samwiches are in the same category as Libarry and Punkin. :grr: "Sammies" just gives me the creeps.

[Redstone]

38. Samwiches are like Lieburries; forgiven as regionalisms. "Sammies" are abominations.

Redstone

[unpossibles]

54. regionalisms or just illiteracy?

Oh wait... never mind.

way to go kitler.

[bicentennial_baby]

19. They're just stealin from the debbil herself

Rachael "Satan LaVey" Ray. :D

[Redstone]

21. Seems so. She should have gotten that copyright, yes?

Redstone

[AlCzervik]

23. it's way more fun to watch Sandra lee get her food drunk.

:o

[bicentennial_baby]

29. "It's cocktail time!"

*thud*

*burp*

"tablescapes!!"

:rofl:

[AlCzervik]

31. "Not too much lime concentrate, you do not want to dilute that keg of grey goose"

[bicentennial_baby]

35. But *burp* look at our Mexi-American tablescape!!

Margaritas for everyone...even the childrens!!1!

[Der Blaue Engel]

27. So ordering a Moon Over My Hammy from Denny's

is right out, then?

[Redstone]

44. Nah, that's fine. I got no problem with puns

Redstone

[liberaltrucker]

28. Civilization as we know it doomed, DOOMED!

Even Quiznos, home of the luscious Classic Italian, has caved to PC.

OK, that's it. I'm gonna find a friendly cave now, with broadband Net
access, of course. Hey, Osama has one.

:hi:

[Redstone]

34. No, God damn it! You're a TRUCKER! You have access to hundreds of places with

honest names like Mabel's Diner, Fred's Clam Shack, Does's Eat Place, and such like.

And in those places, you have access to food that's named as God intended it to be, such as Green Salad, Pork Tenderloin, and Mashed Potatoes.

They don't call mashed potatoes "smashed potatoes" there, do they? They don't call vegetables "veggies," do they?

And they'd rather DIE than call a sandwich a "Sammy." Wouldn't they?

Keep going there. I'll see you at the last of such places one day.

Redstone

[liberaltrucker]

40. I stand corrected

:hippie:

:beer:

Take care, ya hear?

[BlueJazz]

33. Damn..Redstone..You Crack me up!!

lunchy-wunchy

barfy-warfy. :rofl:

[Redstone]

37. Trust me, it's a trend, and it's about to take over. Look at my sig line:

I really DO notice these things so you don't have to. Parlayed that talent into a short and unfortunate career as a newspaper columnist some years back...it seemed that I noticed a bit too many things.

Glad I could provide you some laughs. It's my mission in life to provide a laugh or two to someone every day.

Redstone

[mitchum]

42. I also hate the word "veggies"...almost as much as I hate grown men who use the word "pee"...

migod, why don't they just go ahead and say "tinkle" "wee wee" or "potty"?
This "sammy" sounds utterly ridiculous

[Deep13]

46. I'd like to respond, but I have to go drain the lizard. n/t

[Redstone]

51. Yup. Grown men shouldn't "pee." Nor should they ever proclaim food "yummy."

Redstone

[Deep13]

45. Cutesy, infantile bastardization of English never sits well with me.

The actual English are especially bad when it comes to this. Every noun has a shortened version that ends with "y." I don't even like how MacDonald's puts "Mc" in front of everything. "Yes, I'm a corporate McRetard!"

Taking the doggie for walkies where I'll see chippies, hedgies and mozzies and then I'm going to have a chip butty with voddy and chockies.

[mitchum]

50. True about the Brits; they even infantilize sex talk

Damn it! I want my dirty talk to remain dirty!

[Ellen Forradalom]

48. Oh, fucky-wucky

I can't stand it.

[Blue-Jay]

53. I HATE VELCRO!

Stupid sticky shit. Why, when I was a lad, we used buttons and WE LIKED 'EM!

[Redstone]

64. Buttons? You had BUTTONS? Why, you whippersnapper, back in MY day we didn't

have any fancy-Dan BUTTONS, no sir, we'd just hunch down and hold our coat closed with our TEETH...

Or would have, if we'd had such things as coats.

Redstone

[Blue-Jay]

65. You and your fancy TEETH!

My family had to share one single TOOTH, and it took us nearly three days to eat a bowl of rocks, and we were happy to have it, let me tell you...

[Redstone]

67. Which day of the week did you get the tooth? I got the shoe every other Thursday.

Redstone

[Redstone]

55. And while I'm at it: "Smashed (not mashed) potatoes." Just fucking STOP, please.

This nonsense has gotten WAY out of hand.

Redstone

[Bake]

56. Just gimme a RoC Co-Cola and a Moon Pie.

That's lunch.

Bake

[Sequoia]

57. I had two of those yesterday, with steak.

For only $2 each and not bad, but crappy name nonetheless.

[Redstone]

69. What, they had steak in them, not something like "Moo-Meat?" I'm surprised.

Redstone

[redqueen]

59. Might wanna cut back on the caffeine.

:hide:

[Redstone]

66. Hey, if you think THIS diatribe is bad, you should see some of my old newspaper columns.

Back when I had actual energy.

Redstone

[asthmaticeog]

63. I've always had trouble with that sort of thing.

OK, the "Moons Over My Hammy" at Denny's isn't such a problem since it's vile enough not to order anyway, so I'll never be caught having to say it, but a restaurant near me, that I love dearly, calls it's apple/carrot/celery juice a "Fwuity Wabbit." I really like their apple/carrot/celery juice. I will not say "Fwuity Wabbit" aloud. It usually goes suchlike:

Server: "Anything to drink?"

Me: "Uh, yeah, could I get the apple/carrot/celery juice, large, please?"

Server: "You mean a Fwuity Wabbit."

Me: "Sure, OK."

Glad to know I'm not the only one who bristles at the infantilizing appelations. Nothing wrong with wearing a dress, though. ;)

[Redstone]

68. You win. That's even worse than a "Sammy." MUCH worse, in fact.

"Moons Over My Hammy" might be forgiven as a painful pun (is there any other kind?), but "Fwuity Wabbit?" That's just revolting.

Redstone

[Kajsa]

71. I can't help it.

I'm dying, here.

:rofl:

[Joe Fields]

72. So, I take it that you wouldn't shop at a Piggly Wiggly...

[Redstone]

73. I'd have to be DAMN hungry.

Redstone

[REP]

75. "Tonsant Weader Thwowed Up" - Dorothy Parker

Her review of A A Milne's "Now We Are Five." It applies to so much these days.