Update - my cousin & the twins. Sad.

[OhioBlue]

First, thank you to everyone that sent their thoughts and prayers.

My cousin was pregnant with twin girls, Adeline and Riley. Her water broke at 19 weeks. The doctor told her the odds, which were not good. There was only a 10% chance that she could carry them to viability and her chances of going into labor or getting an infection were very high. Even if she could carry them to 24 weeks, the chances of problems for the babies were almost inevitable.

She made it through the first 72 hours (75% are delivered w/in 72 hours) and she was so hopeful and had such a positive attitude. We were all hoping and maybe even expecting that they would beat the odds. Monday she had an ultrasound. It showed that baby A (Adeline) had no amniotic fluid left and was making her way to the birth canal. My cousin was devastated and started to prepare herself to lose baby A. Then, 24 hours passed. She read about how low fluid babies can have a chance and again started to think positively. She made it to 21 weeks. The doctor told her that if she got to 23, they would start steroid shots to help the babies' lungs develop quicker. (They do not take life saving measures until the babies are considered viable at 24 weeks.)

Yesterday, my cousin developed an infection and was running a high fever. The doctor said the only option was to induce labor and deliver the twins. Last night at 1:06 a.m. Adeline was still born. At 1:09 a.m., Riley was born and lived for 2 hours in the arms of her mom, dad and other family. All she ever knew was love. She passed in the arms of her mom after her mom got back from surgery. Her grandmother commented that it was almost as if she waited to make sure her mom was okay. My cousin had a D&C to remove the infection and is doing okay physically. They kept both babies in their room all night.

The hospital personnel have been wonderful to her. Today, she was doing "okay" emotionally. She is trying to recover from the labor and delivery (she could not have an epidural for fear of infection and she had hard labor b/c of the drugs to induce.) while also trying to recover from the hell and emotional roller coaster that she has been on for the last two weeks.

My heart breaks for her and Adeline and especially little Riley who fought so hard for 2 hours (and was only expected to live for 15 minutes). I'm not a religious person, and if there is a God, I don't know if I can ever understand why he put this family through this. But I do believe there are 2 little angels. Two baby twins, one that couldn't survive because of circumstances and one that wanted to be with her sister, but only after she made sure her mom was okay.

Thanks for reading and please send your prayers, thoughts, well wishes one more time to this family as they try to recover.

[Maestro]

1. Oh this one is hard!

I am so sorry to hear this. Please pass on my condolences to your cousin. :hug:

[OhioBlue]

6. thank you.

she doesn't know that I posted her story on DU, but when the time is right, I will tell her how many people were sending her positive thoughts and prayers.

Like I said, I'm not very religious, but I did send this out on two prayer chains. I was hoping enough positive energy could help her and the twins win their battle.

[QMPMom]

2. I am so sorry.

[OhioBlue]

9. thank you.

[alphafemale]

3. Safe passage, sweet children.

Amazing that a soul can be here so briefly, and touch so many.

[OhioBlue]

8. that is so true.

thank you for saying that. I am kicking myself today for not going to the hospital last night and getting the chance to hold Riley. She only weighed 1lb., but will forever be an inspiration to me. I love her so much, and yet I never even knew her.

[alphafemale]

14. You touched each other. Just not physically.

:hug:

[BrklynLiberal]

36. How sad....I am so sorry for your cousin and her husband.

Sweet little girls.:(
I hope the future for your cousin holds nothing but good things..

[ThomCat]

4. I'm so very sorry.

:(

I hope your cousin is doing well physically. I hope she's doing well emotionally soon. :hug:

[OhioBlue]

11. thank you ThomCat

She will be observed for 48 hours to make sure she is okay physically. Emotionally, it will take a while. But, she is very lucky to have 2 little boys at home that she loves and adores and will keep her grounded.

[SeattleGirl]

5. That is so sad, BI.

My condolences to your cousin. :grouphug:

[OhioBlue]

7. thank you SeattleGirl. n/t

[Haole Girl]

10. Sending prayers, thoughts, well wishes

I'm so sorry. :hug: :hug: :hug:

[OhioBlue]

12. thank you.

:hug:

[Sugar Smack]

13. Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

[OhioBlue]

16. thank you.

[Ptah]

15. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

[OhioBlue]

17. Thank you Ptah.

My cousin has been my best friend for years. I never knew she had such strength.

[Mz Pip]

18. I am so sorry

for your loss. There really are no words. I cannot imagine how hard it must be to lose a child. My thoughts are with your cousin in this difficult time.

Mz Pip
:dem:

[OhioBlue]

21. Thank you Mz Pip.

you're right. there just are no words.

[auntAgonist]

19. How terribly sad ....

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

I hope your cousin and her husband have lots of support and love surrounding them. I can't imagine.

:hug:


good thoughts going out to them ....


aA
kesha

[OhioBlue]

22. thank you so much

they do have a lot of love and support.

They also have the good fortune of having two beautiful boys at home to think about. I know they will get through this, it is just heartbreaking.

[Chovexani]

20. Positive energy to you and your family

My prayers are with all of you. May your hearts know peace in this difficult time. :hug:

[OhioBlue]

23. thank you.

[merh]

24. Oh OhioBlues, I'm sorry to read this.

You and your cousin and her husband and all family members will be in my prayers.

My mom lost 2 set of twins as premature births. She always told us of our special guardian angels who watched over us. When my father died, I found their birth and death certificates in the box of important papers he kept by his favorite chair for as long as I can remember.

:hug: :loveya: :grouphug:

[OhioBlue]

43. thank you for your post

that is just how I am thinking of her girls - as little angels.

[Maccagirl]

25. My deepest sympathy

That was a heart-wrenching story. May your cousin and her husband find strength and peace. May their beautiful babies live on in their hearts.

[reyd reid reed]

26. I'm so sorry to hear this...

you're all in my thoughts.

:hug:

[Tsiyu]

27. A sad situation

My heart goes out to Riley and Adeline's Mom.

:grouphug:

[BlueIris]

28. Just out of dumb curiousity...

where did she deliver? Don't give any details you don't want to/shouldn't give, I'm just interested to know what state/country she lives in, so I can move there. Sounds like the medical personnel went above and beyond to make sure her needs were met.

[OhioBlue]

34. Akron General in Ohio

it is near Akron Children's Hospital and they do have a great staff that is used to handling very high risk situations.

[question everything]

29. So sad to read this

I hope that all the family members can find strength and love and comfort with each other.

I am sure that the memory of baby Riley dying in her mother's arms will be etched in her memory for the rest of her life.

I hope that the parents will avail themselves to whatever counseling is offered to them. This is a traumatic experience that no one should experience alone. Most important, to know that there was nothing they could do to prevent this tragedy.

[yellowdogintexas]

30. God didn't cause the event, things happen. What God does is give us the strength to deal

God may have helped Riley hang in there until Mom was OK...if God micro manages at all which we of course do not really know..

She really has been through it and my heart does go out to her, these things are so very sad! My thoughts and prayers for a physical and spiritual recovery and hopefully other babies in the future.

:cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :grouphug:

[OhioBlue]

51. thank you for your thoughts.

[NewWaveChick1981]

31. My heart goes out to your cousin and everyone involved.

:hug: :pals: That's so sad. My best wishes to everyone. :hug:

[OhioBlue]

50. thank you

she has had a terrible emotional roller coaster. She got to come home today, and I think that alone has helped her a great deal.

[judaspriestess]

32. my heartfelt condolences toyour cousin, her husband

and your entire family.........

[OhioBlue]

49. thank you.

I really think we are all doing much better today

[soleft]

33. Best wishes to your cousin, your family and especially the twins

[OhioBlue]

47. thank you.

[Radio_Lady]

35. Very sad story. I hope she recovers and conceives once again when she is ready.

I don't happen to believe that God does this. Twins are conceptual oddities at best. What is amazing is that so many of them are born perfectly.

I had a stillborn baby girl in 1960 -- it took about a year to get over the trauma. This fetus was macrocephalic -- had a huge head and would not have lived a normal life.

Later, I went on to have two more children; one in 1968 and one in 1969. They are now healthy and grown up, with two children each of their own.

What I wonder -- without any criticism -- is why people decide to give them names prior to birth? Does it have something to do with her religion?

Guess it's just personal choice. I preferred to put just Baby Girl on my daughter's death certificate.

[OhioBlue]

37. well, I guess it is different for everyone

I know I had my son's name picked out months before he was born. As far as the girls, their dad has had the name Riley Michelle(I learned to day it is actually spelled Rylee - which has ties to our family - a lot of middle names are Lee for my grandma Leona). Michelle was for his sister that died a few years ago at the terribly young age of 19. She wanted a name with as much significance for the other baby and chose Adeline Marie (I think she spelled it Adelynn) Lynn is for her sister's middle name and her middle name. She took great pride in picking out the names and I think she just really felt like she couldn't take those names away from the girls.

[Radio_Lady]

39. For practical purposes, if she has live births in the future, will she have to choose other names?

I got to use my favorite names for my children -- Linda Michelle for my daughter, and David Scott for my son.

I guess I knew the first fetus was going to be stillborn from about the seventh month -- so in my case, there was never a name chosen.

Are they going to have funerals and burials for these babies?

Boy, my heart goes out to those parents.

[OhioBlue]

42. At this point, she does not want to have any more children

they have a son that is 1 1/2 and another that is 8 (he is actually Michelle's son - but they raise him as their own)

If she does change her mind and have another and it is a girl, I'm sure she will pick another name, but she hasn't considered that yet.

We had a memorial service today. They will be cremated and their ashes will be in an urn that they will keep in a curio cabinet with other mementos in their home. At some point, they may decide that they need further closure and scatter the ashes. But for now, they are just going with their plan.

[Radio_Lady]

57. Thanks for responding... I know this will help me deal with my loss mentally and

perhaps others will, too.

Reading your posts and others today brought back some difficult memories for me.

I hope what I wrote earlier wasn't intrusive and that you won't consider me judgmental because of it.

[GreenPartyVoter]

38. I am so sorry *hugs and prayers* Such a difficult thing for a family to go through

[Radio_Lady]

40. Absolutely the same thing I was thinking as your response came up.

[johnnie]

41. I'm sorry to hear this

I can relate. My mother had twins when I was 16 and her water broke early (I think they were 5 months along). The first one was born still born and my other brother lived for 2 hours also. That was 27 years ago, they would have probably lived today. They were named Matthew and Mark.

My thoughts are with you and your cousin.

[OhioBlue]

45. wow - such a similar situation

It is tough to say if they would have or not today. They don't really give the babies odds until they are 24 weeks and then it is 50:50. I'm sorry to hear that your mom had to go through that. I've never really realized how hard it is until I've watched my cousin go through it.

[Shine]

44. Blessings of Peace and Comfort during this sad time.

:hug: :cry:

[OhioBlue]

46. thank you

honestly, we are all in a much better place today. I think the memorial service helped a lot. For me, today was the first time I saw them, and to see them and really realize just how underdeveloped they were and understand why the docs didn't take life saving measures, has really given me some peace. I'm just so glad my cousin is okay physically and is remembering that she is a mom to her two sons first.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

48. What a sad story

:cry:

[OhioBlue]

52. To everyone who read, sent thoughts and posted - pls read

Thank you all so much. Last night, I was an emotional mess. I'm not sure, but I think the fact that I just had my first baby in July and my cousin and I were so happy to be pregnant together again. (When she had her son, I got pregnant but miscarried) I think all of it just swirled around in my head and overwhelmed me. I was also desperate to just be able to "fix" things for my cousin and make it all better.

Today, we had the memorial service, my cousin got to come home and I think we all got some closure. I am glad that she doesn't have to go through the hell that she went through for the last couple of weeks any more. I am also terribly sad that we will never get to see the twins grow up. I do have to say that when I saw them today, it really did register with me just how far from viability 3 weeks really is.

Anyway, I kept telling myself that I was posting to send positive thoughts to her to give her strength, but the truth is that posting here was really helpful to me. Thank you all for this.

[Darth_Kitten]

53. I'm so sorry for the loss of those two little babies.....

and the grief and pain your family is going through. :(

[easttexaslefty]

54. I am so sorry.

My deepest condolences to your family.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

55. I'm so sorry...

Sending my best vibes for your cousin, and hoping for a swift recovery... :hug::hug::hug:

[krispos42]

56. **sniff**

:cry:

:hug:

**wipes tears**

:cry:

[applegrove]

58. That is very sad. So sorry for your family.