The sound of my morbidly obese roommates scraping of his spoon against his bowl

[TK421]

is MAKING-ME-VIOLENT.......

To top that off, I almost choked him to death when he was using metal utensils on ....a teflon frying pan, ( a good one, too ) which I have REPEATEDLY asked him not to do...


GOD I can't wait till this fucking lease ends, and it's just me again...

Sorry for the rant

[QueenOfCalifornia]

1. Hmmmm....

You need to get out for a while... and take that teflon with you.

I never could stand having roommates. I have the all time top 3 evil, bad roommate stories. Three I tell you. The memories never go away.. Oh, they fade but they are never gone. Get me the sharp knife so I can cut that part of my brain out.

[TK421]

2. The hell of it is, about 95 percent of what is in the kitchen belongs to me

it came from my last apartment ( long...LONG story ) and the pans are just the tip of the frigging iceberg...

I have bowls that are missing, nobody knows what happened to them, but they are just...missing. Again, nice, big white ceramic bowls my brother gave to me when he moved. There used to be four...now there are two.

Two of my soup pots have burn marks on the bottom of them ( Revere Ware ) but no one will own up to it.

My futon ( once again, a pretty nice piece of furniture ) has scrapes and chips on the armrests. Again, nobody will own up to it.

I have TV dinner trays that these other bastards will help themselves to, but there is always food film on them, and I have to end up wiping these clean myself..

Nearing my wits end

[QueenOfCalifornia]

3. Maybe

your fat friend does not understand that this is going to end badly... Perhaps removing your special items from the kitchen and leaving photos of them in their place with hostage notes made from cut out letters would be a nice hint. Just lock the pistola cabinet.

[TK421]

4. .....

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: I like your idea...if I take this stuff away, nobody here will be able to cook a damn thing...didn't think of that! Maybe then the appreciation will kick in....

:D By the way...this isn't my first time renting....I thought I would mention that. I've held three different apartments ( one completely by myself ) so I know what it's like.

These guys? It's their first time away from mommy and daddys place, so clearly they have much to learn. For example, the fact that you can break a lease agreement when the landlord says you can bring in A cat, and turn around and bring in a second one ( apparently, with no repercussions ) These are the type of fuck-nuts I'm dealing with.

I know the way it works...they don't; and when I try to explain it to them, they give the impression that I am bearing down on them and trying to sound superior....but that's another story.

[QueenOfCalifornia]

6. How old is

Blimpy the chimp? How many people do you live with? I would rather get a little trailer and live in it than ever live with a roommate again. I learned the hard way.

[TK421]

8. Three other people...and only one of them I truly like

[TK421]

18. All of them are at least two years younger than me ( about 29-30 )

[LibraLiz1973]

5. his "fat friend"??

NICE

[QueenOfCalifornia]

7. That was his description...

I work with the material I am given.

Should i say "hefty" ?????

[redqueen]

9. Pleasingly plump!

:)

[QueenOfCalifornia]

10. Squeezably Soft

.....

I hate being heckled.

[redqueen]

12. Big and beautiful!

I used to hate being chubby. Now I've made my peace with it. :)

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

13. Circumferentially advantaged

[redqueen]

15. Large and in-charge?

I'm running out already. :P

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

17. Abdominally Enlarged

[TK421]

24. Big-boned....let's not forget big boned

[DS1]

SMLTSBSIASIODWTJK

significantly-more-likely-to-survive-being-stuck-in-a-subaru-in-Oregon-during-winter-than-James-Kim


:)

[redqueen]

33. hahahaha...

:thumbsup:

[TK421]

34. Took the words right out of my mouth, you did

:D

[RubyDuby in GA]

48. I prefer Rubenesque

Or fluffy as an old standby.

[TK421]

49. what is Rubenesque?

:shrug: sorry if I'm missing something here

[RubyDuby in GA]

50. Rubens painted...

As many of his paintings feature full-figured, voluptuous women, the word "Rubenesque" (meaning plump or fleshy, yet not "fat," and used exclusively to describe women) is derived from his last name.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Paul_Rubens

[TK421]

55. Gotcha n/t

[TK421]

63. hefty is a brand of garbage bag....far too nice n/t

[TK421]

11. Actually...the OP stated that he was "morbidly obese"

sadly, this is not far from the truth. All he does is sit in front of the T.V and EAT EAT EAT EAT

Or on his Playstation.....while eating, of course

Come to think of it...I don't recall seeing him when he was not putting food in his mouth.

But the issue of the OP is just a vent....I'm sorry if you took some kind of offense to it, there was no offense intended to anyone here

[QueenOfCalifornia]

20. So... when is morbidly obese

not fat?

It is what it is.

I am fat.

I am not thrilled with it but I am not heavy or plump or chubby... It's called fat. I guess I could have said adapose tissue.

But saying "Your adapose tissue friend" does not have the same ring to it as "Your fat friend."

[TK421]

Well, it's just easier to say that someone is fat

I just went the extra mile, I suppose :shrug: And the comment I made regarding that was, indeed malicious....but only towards this annoying-as-shit roommate, not to anyone else

[Parche]

14. You Spoon Your Roommate?

:shrug: :shrug: :hi:

[TK421]

19. through the eye-socket, maybe....oh, wait a sec

:think:

[ohiosmith]

16. Do you have a lock on your bedroom door? Check under you bed for condiments.

[TK421]

21. I do indeed have a lock on my bedroom door...but I'm not sure why I would

have to check under my bed for condiments. Nobody enters my room, and I will KNOW when someone has ( let's say I got a system ).

If I find out that someone has entered my room when I am not there, then that person will be eating lunch through a tube

[ohiosmith]

22. Condiments may indicate that you roommate is planning a late night snack, if you get my drift.

[TK421]

23. sorry...but I don't

:shrug: I'll take a stab at this ( I suppose it's better than taking a stab at this roommate ) but are you saying that he WANTS to be under my bed?


I would have to hoist that fucker at least five feet into the air just so he could fit under there!

[ohiosmith]

25. No, I'm saying that you could end up being his late night snack.

:evilgrin:

[TK421]

27. Oh...

:rofl: gotcha! No, he would never take me without a fight!

[TK421]

36. I know I'm sexy, but I really don't think I would taste that good

regardless of what some other individuals have stated....I think I would taste like tobacco and beer

[QueenOfCalifornia]

26. I will try to say this

as gently as possible....

Ohiosmith is trying to say that you may be on the menu.

[TK421]

28. I just got that...I'm all skin-and-bones...but he knows that anyway

come to think of it, we just ran out of those frozen ribs in the freezer....:scared:

Should I give C.S.I a heads up?

[ohiosmith]

29. :

[TK421]

30. Well...he looks nothing like Anthony Hopkins ( you could probably fit 8 Anthony Hopkins in him )

but I get the picture....I will sleep with a knife under my pillow tonight :scared:

[ohiosmith]

31. Do. He may have forgotten flatware.

[TK421]

32. On second thought...I think I'll keep a katana under my pillow

[Call Me Wesley]

35. Oh yes, good one!

'Morbidly obese' is always a running gag.

But how could your tiny, slim hands get around his throat to 'almost choke him to death?' Do you have such large hands?

[TK421]

37. Actually....I do have big hands ( long fingers, too )

believe me...where there is a will, there is a way

[Call Me Wesley]

38. Good for ya.

A will for what? Killing the 'fat bastard?'

[TK421]

39. No..I really wouldn't do that. I'm really a very laid-back peaceful person

until I'm pushed far enough....

I wouldn't hurt a fly..unless they were buzzing around my head, and then they are really dead

[Call Me Wesley]

40. Poor flies. (nt)

[Missy Vixen]

41. YAY! More fat bashing!

:popcorn:

After all, there's nobody here who hates the fat, is there?

:popcorn:

Julie

[TK421]

43. Put away that popcorn....this isn't a fat-bashing thread

read the OP.....then get back to me

[Missy Vixen]

54. I read your OP

Couldn't stand to post without mentioning that your roommate is "morbidly obese"?

Fat bashing.

:popcorn:

Julie

[TK421]

56. I'm sorry...but he IS morbidly obese...I can't lie about that

:shrug: He is morbidly obese......I see it every day.

If that requires popcorn, then please pass the butter...cause I want some

[AlCzervik]

42. well hey, he has someone to piss off and you have someone to bitch about, sounds like

you're perfect for each other.
:D

[TK421]

44. Not really....but I think my grievances have been well-received, for the most part

the other things I added to that list don't account for everything, either

[TK421]

45. But just to set the record straight...he really IS morbidly obese.....

and I don't mean THAT in a malicious way...but my comments concerning his aforementioned habits are meant in a malicious way

[hisownpetard]

53. Morbidly obese means that a person is at least 100 lbs. overweight. Either

you is or either you ain't.

[TK421]

57. Yup...he is n/t

[hisownpetard]

59. So, saying that is not insulting anyone, it's just stating a medical fact.

Looks like you're off the hook!

[TK421]

61. Thanks! I was waiting for someone to say that!

:D a couple of posts seemed to imply that, but that was certainly not the case

I'm glad you were able to see through it

[WritingIsMyReligion]

46. Why do you hate fat people?????11!! OMGZZZZ!

:P

That would drive me up the frigging wall.

[TK421]

47. OMG!!!@@#$@ I didn't know I did!!!!@!@2112

111214322444 I must be a HUGH MORAN!!!@!@!!!!!211

[piesRsquare]

51. Hey TK

Love yer avatar...the "V" flicks are my favorite!

I don't do well with roommates either...I've lived alone for a long time.

[TK421]

58. You would probably do well to do without them for the rest of your life

I'm about to have a conflict with the one that JUST walked in the door...

Be prepared, DU....be prepared

[hisownpetard]

52. Are you sure that sound is not his thighs scraping, in those corduroy pants?

[TK421]

60. He doesn't wear corduroy...at least not to my knowledge

that would make it that much more annoying, though....

[TK421]

62. oh...here we go....now for annoying roommate number 2..just walked through the door

the ultra conservative Republican ( God, why did I agree to share a house with such a person )? He's gonna bitch about something tonight, and since I'm the first person he sees when he walks in the back door...he's just a miserable son-of-a-bitch who hates his job and his personal life and takes out his frustration on his ballot. I'll rip his fucking head off if he starts on me tonight..

You people may see me on Faux News tonight.....