Ballsiest customer I ever heard of...

[jmowreader]

This one didn't happen to me, but it's so disgusting I just had to share.

One of our flooring guys got a call from a customer.

"I understand that (names flooring department supervisor) is in the hospital right now." (He is. Emergency appendectomy. Uhh...does anyone get that taken out before it's an emergency? Anyway...)

"You have to call him at the hospital and have him order my flooring for me today."

Well, actually we don't HAVE to call him at the hospital, but thanks to Home Depot's new policies someone will probably get fired for not calling the DS and making him order the flooring while he's recovering from major surgery.

[SeattleGirl]

1. What is the new policy? You mean someone could get fired for

not pulling an Alberto Gonzales on the flooring manager?

:wow:

[jmowreader]

3. It's the new "I Am Empowered" program

which says, quite basically, you are "empowered" to do anything a customer says or get fired for it if said customer calls Customer Care in (well, it's probably Mumbai) and tells them a certain employee was rude to them.

Yeah. No shit. If you're rude to a customer they will fire you for it. It's happened to several of our people already. And I figure this customer will tell the Customer Care nazis the flooring guy was disrespectful because he refused to satisfy his needs, and the flooring guy will be wearing a paper hat next week asking people if they want fries with that.

Returns are also getting to be a fucking nightmare. Last week someone walked into the store with a drill that was broken, incomplete and a Hitachi--Lowe's uses Hitachi as their high-end house brand, like we do with Ridgid. He wanted his money back. Lowe's would have sent the drill to their repair place and had it fixed--the thing didn't look all that old, it probably would have been at no charge. We could have sent it to our repair place...we use Hurst Annaho in Fayetteville (the place with the orange kitty I told you about a while back...they still have him and now he's neutered, immunized and about the size of a pit bull from eating all his food and half the staff's.) but we would have charged. No, he wanted his money back...so he went down to the tool department, found a drill expensive enough to suit him, cut the UPC off with a box knife and taped it to the box. And we TOOK THAT BACK!!! Blatant returns fraud here, kids; this asshole SHOULD be getting ready for his five-year stint in Central Prison, but no, we gave him a store credit, he bought something and I'm sure he went out and pawned it.

And remind me some day to tell you about our new pro-shoplifting policy.

Just a few more weeks...

[Gold Metal Flake]

2. I wish you would journal these.

I know I've missed a few.

[Generic Brad]

4. Alberto Gonzales needs flooring?

I'm floored.