Halloween Match Game: "The paparazzi learned a valuable lesson from DS1.

[Rabrrrrrr]

As they flocked around him and SOteric, he _________ flashbulb."


For the advanced players, try this one:

As they flocked around him and SOteric, he _________ blood _______ hellishly enraged leprechaun _________ tractor ________ pancakes __________ love song ___________ chimed 18 times _________ horticulturist _________ palindrome _________ eyes like burning coals ____________ flaming pumpkin ____________ funicular _________ Emile Berliner ________ flashbulb."

[DS1]

1. indicated that they should set their shutter speeds a bit lower, in order to catch some sweet

motion blur as his steel-toed boot flew into a fallen paparrazi's mouth. Shattered teeth, splashed with blood lay on the the ground as the scumbag's tongue flapped like a bloated-sounding kazoo. Moments before slicing off another paparrazi's head with a pocketknife, he suggested they capture the initial jugular blood spray with the highest shutter speed, to produce some wonderful spray imagery backed by creamy bokeh. When asked by one paparrizi, who was also later brutally killed, DS1 simply to told the questioner to get a fucking

[Shakespeare]

2. Extra points for working "bokeh" into your response.

:rofl: :rofl:

[DS1]

4. I thought that touch might a highlight

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

5. Now do one with bukkake!

:rofl:

[DS1]

6. I'll try work that into the advanced one during lunch

[Rabrrrrrr]

7. Have you had lunch yet? I'm dying to read your advanced version!

[DS1]

9. yes, but work beckons

don't worry, it's a worthy challenge


I assume you're working on one :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

10. Work beckons for me as well - perhaps later tonight.

[Rabrrrrrr]

3. Sweet!

:thumbsup:

And you should get a DUzy just for using bokeh.

[Midlodemocrat]

8. OMG.

:rofl:

[DS1]

11. okay here we go *this is me beginning a marathon of post previewing and one final submit*

As they flocked around him and SOteric, he _________ blood _______ hellishly enraged leprechaun _________ tractor ________ pancakes __________ love song ___________ chimed 18 times _________ horticulturist _________ palindrome _________ eyes like burning coals ____________ flaming pumpkin ____________ funicular _________ Emile Berliner ________ flashbulb."



flicked away a speckle of the dried

and gore-filled aftermath the Guinness-fueled and

had gone into after his

full of pure gold and

was stolen while he was serenading his girlfriend with her favorite

just outside of the renowned LAX club in Vegas. He had dutifully ended the song, and then pulled out his magic pendant which he

before being further pissed off when an errant bee flew from the dozen roses he'd bought from the hotel's

flew out and left him fuming and stung. Oh, hog nuts he bellowed in his tiny leprechaun voice while the paparazzi moved in. His

were starting to resemble a freshly bukkaked

while his rage steadily climbed its own

and the thoughts in his head went faster and faster like a demonic

recording before he exploded and murdered everyone in sight until the police showed up and shot him to death. It was that point that DS1 showed all the paparazzi why he was better than all of them, and whipped out the spent









yes, I'm cheating, instead of working around palindrome, I used one. but my bukkake usage gives me one free pass
and why isn't bukkake in the spell check?

[Rabrrrrrr]

14. I'll spot you the palindrome for the use of bukkake.

:rofl:

Excellent story!!

Now if you could put bukkake into a palindrome...

:yourock:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. The paparazzi learned a valuable lesson from DS1.

As they flocked around him and SOteric like a pack of crack-addled jackals, he pulled from his pocket his treasured set of titanium throwing stars and spun them with an almost imperceptible flick of the wrist at the closest paparazzo, who blinked and dropped his camera, then collapsed like a cheap folding chair in the rapidly-spreading pool of his own blood, gurgling and clutching his throat where one could see the bare pink edges of his neatly-severed carotid artery.

The other paparazzi drew back in horror, and DS1 thought he had prevailed and that he and SOteric could finally enter the speakeasy unmolested, but the smallest of them, a wiry little man wearing a fisherman's sweater and a green hat and who, frothing at the mouth and frantically brandishing his Nikon, resembled nothing so much as a hellishly enraged leprechaun, suddenly activated his flash attachment. DS1 and SOteric, momentarily blinded by the flash, stumbled across the still-twitching body of the first paparazzo while the small man with the Nikon continued to snap pictures. But, there being no honor among paparazzi if a sale to the tabloids is at stake, the others wrested his camera away from him and commenced to pummel him with it. This, however, gave DS1 and SOteric a chance to recover their night vision and, recognizing the futility of pursuing the evening's plans, dash to DS1's John Deere tractor, which he had driven that night instead of his Bugatti in the vain hope he would not be noticed.

Relieved to be free of the marauding photographers, they relaxed in the tractor, enjoyed a cigarette and decided to stop at IHop for a meal of buttermilk pancakes and bacon and maybe even an omelette. DS1 sang a melancholy love song as they pulled up in front of the restaurant, but SOteric silenced him with an elbow to the ribs upon noticing that the clock on a nearby tower had strangely chimed 18 times. "What the fuck?" they said in unison. A passing horticulturist gazed at them with a mysterious smile, and said "Don't worry; it always does that. Here's an orchid; it's a Cattleya." SOteric took the orchid and wondered why the horticulturist had suddenly disappeared.

Once inside, they found a booth and waited for the sullen, pasty-faced waitress to waddle over to them and slap a menu on the table. DS1 ordered a lemon and mushroom omelette, which caused SOteric to gag uncontrollably. But the omelet, when delivered, was curiously devoid of any lemon flavor, causing DS1 to call out peevishly to the surly waitress, "Freshen omelette lemon, eh, serf?" The waitress snapped back, "Shove your fucking palindrome right up your wrinkly pink ass!" With eyes like burning coals, she stared at them furiously, then reached behind the counter and produced a flaming pumpkin, which she hurled with surprising force at DS1's head. Fortunately, she missed, and the pumpkin crashed through the window and splattered all over DS1's tractor, which immediately exploded.

"This evening is not turning out well," fumed DS1. "Let's just take the funicular home." By this time, though, the paparazzi had found them again, along with the moaning ghost of Emile Berliner, who was trying unsuccessfully to operate an iPod. "If I'd known it would come to this, I'd never have invented the phonograph," the ghost lamented. "Hah!" DS1 snorted as he tried to cover his face against the onslaught of photo flashes with a cheap copy of the Bayeux Tapestry, "I'd kick your ectoplasm ass right now if you'd invented the flashbulb."

[Rabrrrrrr]

13. Fantastic! Bravo!!

:applause:

:rofl:

Brilliant palindrome, and genius use of Berliner with the iPod. :applause:

:yourock:

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

15. Thank you. The windowpane acid is working out nicely.

But I can't claim original authorship of the palindrome.

[DS1]

16. OMFG!

That is the BEST YET!

:wow: :thumbsup: :yourock: :spray: :patriot:

You win this round, ocelot! Decisively!

extra points for putting me in a Bugatti!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

19. Thank you very much.

I'm glad you liked the Bugatti.

[RetroLounge]

18. OMFG!

:applause:

RL

[Fire Walk With Me]

17. Very funny! I love that you worked in Emile Berliner.

I met his (very nice) (grandson?) Ollie in my travels around the music biz.

[DS1]

20. I'll try again

As they flocked around him and SOteric, she bolted and he was quickly arrested for a crime he did not commit. Feeling much like a singular and very forlorn version of the A-Team at this point, he decided to let things ride. There was more trouble due if he broke out of the US Penal system, people would be after him forever. He fled to his home base, Hawaii, which was a mistake, as it was the stomping grounds of a racist bounty hunter with his own television show.

Dog, and his crew picked him up after he was a few bites into his McDonalds fries, and maced the shit out of him. Nobody wants to to go to prison, let alone die in prison, and a valiant fight ensued. Four of Dog's posse were killed by head dunking into the fry machines. As much it hurt DS1 to hear their screaming, it was the better alternative to dying from being smothered by the gigantic sweaty tits of Dog's wife. Later subdued by Tasering and forced breast-feeding by Ms. Dog, DS1 was found guilty and sentenced to 46 consecutive life sentences. Surely they would find him not guilty.

Papparrzo weren't human in the first place, so there could be no way the charges would stick. Even the blood evidence couldn't prove guilt in his mind, the hellishly enraged leprechaun whom had led him on certainly wouldn't.

However, that very hellishly enraged leprechaun was not the one to take no for an answer. As he magically dropped the ass end of a rainbow into the prison yard, then followed it up with both 16 pots of gold and a tractor so both the inmates and guards were distracted, DS1 and the leprechaun tractored their way through the fence and made their way right the fuck out of dodge!. They stopped by the local Denny's for some pancakes but the racist manager refused to serve leprechauns. It was a good thing the local chapter of the ACLU was on hand to witness this blatant racism, because otherwise nobody would have believed DS1 that any of this had taken place. Camera footage, obtained via lawsuit showed otherwise.

There is a moral to this story. As much as paparazzi are scum, they are still human. And they can still testify against Denny's.

In fact, they deserve their own love song;

Dear Paparazzi,
thank you for enshallowing my life
I want to be a star too
Won't you take some naked pics of my pie?

At that point, the last call bell chimed 18 times. DS1 looked around, wanting to give his sweetheart some flowers to hopefully help her forget this horrific first date. He grabbed a local bum who just happened to look like a horticulturist, which is unsurprising, considering their line of business. He said, "Hey, motherfucker, I will go all kinds of palindrome on your ass, and kick your ass up and down the block if you don't produce some rare Orchids RIGHT FUCKING NOW!. With eyes like burning coals and the eternal fire of a flaming pumpkin the horticulturist, being a David Lynch fan, invited DS1 and SOteric to take a ride on his funicular to his mountain escape. He murdered them both while singing along to a mashup of Emile Berliner saying "Holy shit, this thing works!" and The Beatles "Yellow Submarine". The last thing SOteric ever saw, as she lay slowly dying, was the bright light of the crime scene photographer's flashbulb

[Rabrrrrrr]

22. OMG!! OMFG!!! 5 years on DU just became worth it for "enshallowing".

:rofl:

Oh my God, I'm dying!

:yourock:

"Gigantic sweaty tits of Dog's wife" - :rofl:

:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup:
















But man, five-almost-six years just paid off with "enshallowing".

I'm going to use that a lot. That's even better than embiggen.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

23. Bravo! Nicely played!

I love the Paparazzo Love Song.

[DS1]

24. thank you

it was your amazing reply which inspired me to try harder

:yourock:

[TK421]

21. kill them n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

25. Hmmm....

As they flocked around him and SOteric, he started coughing up copious amounts of blood, something he always does, along with involuntarily peeing his pants and quickly passing out from fear, when faced with potential danger, an autonomic response he learned after a chidhood confrontation with a hellishly enraged leprechaun at Blarney Castle after he threw feces on the famously and similarly name Stone. Rescuing him from his own self-caused death, SOteric lifted DS1 over her shoulders with her incredible strength, gained from years of eating not only properly, but elegantly, she got onto their tractor.

"What this boy needs is some pancakes", she thought to herself, in the midst of some multi-tasking thought in which she also developed a shorter, 12-line proof of Fermat's Theorem and developed a way to turn any mass directly into energy at a 99.9% efficiency rate. "That's just gonna have to wait until next year," she thought, "I have too many, more important projects for humanity to finish this year." The ride to the Amazing Disney World of Anthropomorphic and Anti-Semitic Pancakes House was miles away, and DS1 was showing no signs of recovering from his fear fatigue.

To while away the time, SOteric wrote a love song to DS1 that included reference to his toilet that DS1 swears once chimed 18 times on a lazy Christmas morning, but as that claim came after a night of far too many Absynthe enemas during a party with matcom, WillPitt, and California Peggy, no one took him seriously. The love song also mentioned the horticulturist, whose grotesque and emotionally-empty dismembering was DS1's and Soteric's first date together. Being a genius, SOteric's entire 11235-line (she loves Fibonacci sequences) love song as a palindrome, which I would print here, but the last time I printed one of SOteric's songs without her permission, the last thing I saw before 18 months in intensive care followed by seven years in a federal penitentiary was a pair of eyes like burning coals.

She finally arrived at Disney's Jew-Hating House of Pancakes, said the secret phrase "The only good Jew is a Jew that's burning to hell like a flaming pumpkin", rode the funicular up to the buffet line, and got some pancakes jammed into DS1's maw just in time for him to wake up and see the one thing that had been his lifelong dream, a dream he had told repeatedly to SOteric, a dream that came true at that moment, his dream of being at a pancake buffet line in a Jew-hating restaurant and seeing Emile Berliner use a stack of Wing records to cut Mel Torme to death for forgetting to bring a fucking flashbulb.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

26. ROFL!

Absinthe enemas! :rofl:

Excellent!

[DS1]

27. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying

Disney's Jew-Hating House of Pancakes

and

his dream of being at a pancake buffet line in a Jew-hating restaurant and seeing Emile Berliner use a stack of Wing records to cut Mel Torme to death for forgetting to bring a fucking flashbulb

omfg!!!

:rofl:

[DS1]

28. you incorporated WING!

aha ahaha h ahahahah

god damn!

[Rabrrrrrr]

29. Her "Highway to Hell" is classic!

http://www.wingmusic.co.nz/player/cd10.html

[DS1]

31. I know the wing collection

you didn't have to link it

[Rabrrrrrr]

32. I hadn't been to her website in a long time -

and so just discovered her two albums of AC/DC tunes!

:rofl:

(and besides, some others might not know who Wing is, and thus that link will help them)

[DS1]

33. sometimes I wonder if we're the only ones

SOteric included, and apparently ocelot (who masterfully entered the game), who will go this far

i'm okay with that

[Rabrrrrrr]

34. Me, too.

:cry:

But, it is what it is.

[DS1]

30. in tears at

she also developed a shorter, 12-line proof of Fermat's Theorem and developed a way to turn any mass directly into energy at a 99.9% efficiency rate.

[racaulk]

35. "the Amazing Disney World of Anthropomorphic and Anti-Semitic Pancakes House"

OMG, I'm cracking up over here!!!

:rofl:

Absolutely f*cking brilliant!!! Nice job! :thumbsup:

[SOteric]

36. HAAAAA!

You win the SOteric prize.

Fermat's Theorem; mass directly into energy; eating not only properly but elegantly... -Utter genius.

And you're right about one thing, that boy does need some pancakes, but we're not taking him to any Jew-Hating House of Pancakes, I'll be making them myself.

[DS1]

37. bah!

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. I am honored that you enjoyed it!

:blush:

(though I think he'd really like to go to a Jew-hating house of pancakes. Just sayin'.)

[SOteric]

39. Nah.

He's just peeved because I didn't like being murdered in a slow and gruesome fashion nearly as much as I liked reworking Fermat's Theorem.

:7 :hi: