Best Email I've Seen Yet!

[matcom]

:rofl:

NEW YORK YANKEES TO BOSTON RED SOX CONVERSION FORM



Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Boston Red Sox

Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently

processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans.

Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankee

requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based

upon the current backlog of requests.



Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help

us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to

recover from your previous fan experience.



Name: _______________________________





Address:______________________________





Who's Your Daddy: ____________________









1. Please select your favorite recent Yankee new player acquisition:



< > Roger Clemens $20 million, six wins, one groin pull



< > Alex Rodriquez $92 million, no title, Ha!



< > Derek Jeter $123 million since he last won world series



< > Jason Giambi $91 million, no title, lots of roid sweat



< > Carl Pavano $27 million, five wins





2. . Which of the following would you most like to see as the most

played YES Network "Great Moments in Yankee History" film clip in 2008:



< > Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 4, 2004



< > Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 5, 2004



< > The awesome wild card clincher celebration



< > Wang getting hammered in Game 1



< > Wang getting hammered in Game 2



< > Jeter's first GIDP



< > Jeter's second GIDP



< > Jeter's third GIDP







3.. Please indicate the last book you read:



< > Someday, in my lifetime, the Yankees will get to the LCS Again



< > Suicide Hotline - It's not just for Cubs' fans anymore



< > The Heimlich Maneuver -- What to do when choking









4. Which recent Yankees personnel move did you enjoy most:



< > Not winning the posting for Matsuzaka



< > Winning the posting for Kei Igawa









5. Which following designation best describes Derek Jeter's performance

in this year's ALDS:



< > Captain Intangibles



< > Captain GIDP



< > Captain & Tenille









6. Please choose your favorite movie:



< > Anger Management



< > Hunt for Red October



< > Damned Yankees



< > Still We Believe









7. Finish this sentence: "Alex Rodriquez is



a. overrated



b. overpaid



c. overdue



d. overly prissy



e. over









8. . Select the most vociferous, stupid, and annoying Yankee fan:



< > Washed up "comic" hack and Yanks personal "ball" washer Billy

Crystal



< > Front-running celebrity phony Jack Nicholson



< > Tim McCarver





9 . Are you ready to admit that:



a. Ted Williams was better than Joe DiMaggio?



b. Carlton Fisk was better than Thurman Munson?



c. Even Manny Ramirez is faster than Bernie Williams?



d. Reggie Jackson was a better outfielder than Matsui?



e. No self-respecting parasite would invade Jason Giambi?









10. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all

that apply):



< > Alex Rodriquez is traded to the Yankees



< > Don Mattingly never wins a World Series



< > The Yankees let Clemens get away



< > The Yankees get Clemens back



< > Giambi's steroid abuse causes his body to collapse like a screen

door in a hurricane.



< > The bugs eat Joba











11 . Have you experienced any of the following after the embarrassing

four game collapse? (Check all that apply)



< > Headache



< > Uncontrolled Anger



< > Heartache



< > Holes punched in doors or walls



< > Nausea



< > Smashed TV screens



< > Depression and Broken Dreams



< > Avoided Red Sox fans for days or weeks





Once you have completed this form, please forward it to Fenway Park.

Then burn all your remaining Yankee clothing, memorabilia, and

associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Red Sox Fan Club

will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.



I hereby acknowledge that the real "curse" is being a Yankee Fan.





I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the

______ day of ________________, 200__

[Westegg]

1. Damn! Kinda sez it all.

I'm a Pittsburgh Pirates fan by birth (all right, enough with the jokes, already. Jeez!), but having lived in NYC for seven years I'm naturally drawn to the local teams, and can appreciate the autumnal emotions that pertain to Mets and Yanks post-season efforts. But at the end of the day, if these friggin' cowboys can't get the job done with the most massive payroll in MLB history, then sod the fucking lot of 'em, I say.

I was supporting the Yanks this year until they rolled over like possums that wanted their bellies scratched. But Mazeroski's homer in the bottom of the 9th, 7th game, against the Yanks in 1960 is a sports moment that is beyond compare. You have no IDEA how that chaged them city I was born into a few years later.

I think Roberto Clemente's highest salary was $125,000 a year.

[Oeditpus Rex]

2. Take care o' my boy X Nady

He's from here. :hi:

[Mrs.Matcom]

3. Kick, because...

it is funny! :rofl: