The Holy Bible (as written by cats)

[philosophie_en_rose]

An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.

:wtf:

and

:rofl:

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Genesis_1

[Liberal Veteran]

1. I can haz creation myth?

:shrug:

[liberaldemocrat7]

7. hahahahahahaha

Oh wow this bible appears a riot.

I love it.

[_testify_]

2. This is insanely well done.

:rofl:

[Brewman_Jax]

3. I knew there was a great cosmic cat

and here's proof!

Cieling Cat sedded it, and its so! kthx bai!

[ThomCat]

4. That is fantastic!

:rofl:

[eppur_se_muova]

5. Trying to correlate verses w/King James ... where do I find "SUPRIZE BUTTSECKZ!!!!!!!" in KJV? nt

[philosophie_en_rose]

6. I don't know.

I assume there are minor differences, due to translation from the original cat.

[WindRavenX]

8. LOLOLOL

"All tingz has do not want, more den werdz sez. Lolrus never sez "enuf bucket, kthnx" or kitteh sez "dats good, enuff cheezburger." - Ecclesiastes:18"

[aaronbees]

9. "Solomoncat pimped hiz cherryot wif woodz from Lebanon. Mad propz."

OMG, what a scream!

:D :rofl:

[_testify_]

10. Exodus, Ch 8...

1.Ceiling cat sez to Moses, "Tell Pharaoh 'Ceiling Cat sez let mah d00dz go, so they can wership me.2 If u sez no, I maek frogz all over ur whole country.3 Teh Nile will has frogz. Frogz will be in ur base, and in ur bed, and in ur d00dz howses, and in ur kitchens.4 Teh frogz will be all on ur peeplz. An dey will b in ur bukkitz makin ur tadpolez. An tehr wont b ne french d00dz 2 eatz tehm cuz french d00ds wuznt inventd yet. so tehre."

[Dr. Strange]

11. Exodus ch 20: The Ten Catmandments

1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds:2 I iz Suprior Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all3 U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur children ded An ur children-children ded, for being stupid.6 If not I wuv u An all ur childrenz-childrenz-childrenz!7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, for I dun liek it. Srsly.8 Remembur caturday An keep holy.9 U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K?10 Dai 7, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me.11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no werk.12 Bez u good to papa An mama so u has long lief.13 U no mek peepz ded!14 U no mek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than ur wief (so no awsum treesum alowed!).15 U no tek stuffs for free if not getz for free.16 U no tell bad stuff about ur neibor.17 U no wantz neibor stuff! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no animulz, NO BUKKITZ! NOT YOURS.

I think the first one sez it all: U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.

[SeattleGirl]

12. An den Ceiling Cat sayz:

letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh cute, An let min has dominion An stufs becuz tehy has can openers.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

14. That is precisely the line I liked the most!

:rofl:

[SeattleGirl]

13. Proverbs 2, Chapters 20-22

20 U gota walk gud an doan fall ovar

21 An stay standin up even if u step on spidr

22 An den u git cheezburgr and noon else can has none, srsly.


----------------------------------------

stay standin up even if u step on spidr. :rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

15. Genesis 4:1

An teh man told his wife "We gun have kidz" An eve his wife said "PENIS GOES WHERE?" Aftur teh explanashun adam "knews" eve his wife; An she is has teh kid cain, An said, i has gotten man wif teh halp ov Ceiling Cat, but he kinda mean 4 makin' it hert so bad.

[SeattleGirl]

16. Bwahahahahaha!

:rofl:

[KitchenWitch]

17. And the ever popular John 3:16

So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez 'Oh hai I givez u my only son and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?'

[havocmom]

18. Somebody had WAI too much times on thr pawz

[zabet]

19. LOLcats rock!!

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

[Scooter24]

20. Leviticus 22:4

4.If u make mistayk with PENIS GOES WHERE?!, thn u wull not b abel to eat saycrd cheezburgrs.

[JVS]

21. profound

1. sup. there has is a sison 4 everthing, and a tiems 4every purpos under teh ceiling, lol.

2. a tiemz 2 get kittehs, an a tiems 2 get ded.

3. tiemz 2 mades cookies, an also tiems 2 cheezburgers.

4. teimz 2 hugs, and loltims 4 buttsecks. u gets teh pichur.

9. what gud is it the kitteh from all that trbl?

10. i has sees what all teh mans did ther, from teh ceiling cat

11. teh ceiling cat mades teh bestes cookies and cheezbuergrs. but he aslo mades us wantz the invisibl sandwhiches he keep up in teh ceiling, omg, nfw.

12. i knows teh invisibil cheezcakes has are not filling, but better is to do gud, liek mading cookies, upgradin ram, ect., k, srsly.

13. an also of cours teh surprize buttsecks wenever possibl, lol. ceiling cat sez so.

14. teh buket of cookies meads by the ceiling catz, is ful 4ever. no wai. wai!

15. now iz alredez haz been eaten. ceiling catz wants moar but iz hungree lol.

16. in teh sun iz judgd teh cookeez, an teh wikid buttsecks, an thai dont compair to teh rightisnez of teh cheezbuergrs.

17. ceiling cat iz teh judge, jury, xecushioner 4 a purpiz. itz hiz job.

18. ceiling cat gits in the est8z of men's kidz an showz them hoos bestes, so they see they has buttsecks 2.

19. 4 kiddiez an bestes rofl; one dies, and then another; thez cant breeth from the lolz; men an bestes make a big buttsecks sandwhich to the ceiling. Thai likez it.

20. evereeone cumz from teh littursbox an goez back when they takes a break.

21. men and bestes upgradez and downgradez as ceiling cat watchus.

22. i knows what it looks liek, an we should be happy, 4 their iz plenty to share: who wants sum? wink wink. tis teh sison.

[grasswire]

22. my family has been crying with laughter this evening

So, so funny. Especially Leviticus.

[KatyMan]

23. Kick, because it's great

Den Jesus caem from Gallalee, to has baptizm from John
But John was all "Ur doin it rong, j00 needz to baptize me"
And Jesus answered sayin "STFU and baptize me n00b" and John did.

[Catshrink]

26. And Jesus answered sayin "STFU and baptize me n00b" and John did.

:rofl:

[ceile]

24. So funny!

:rofl:

[grasswire]

25. one more kick

we're still laughing