Here's the one thing I just don't understand about virgins - why not?

[RetroLounge]

:shrug:

RL

[billyskank]

1. Because nobody wants us.

:cry:




(I'm not really - it's not that bad...)

[RetroLounge]

3. My guess is if you were, there would be a line

of DU women waiting to, uhm, school you in the fine arts.

:hi:

RL

[SPKrazy]

12. oh sure

like I believe that

:eyes:

[billyskank]

14. Dude, believe me

it's virgin on the ridiculous. ;)

[taterguy]

2. No opportunity

Well, that was my reason when I was in that state

[RetroLounge]

8. Which State?

Montana?

RL

[Bucky]

32. Definitely not Virginia.

I understand the first license plate had a typo saying "Vagina is for Lovers"

[MrScorpio]

52. Sex is pretty much a popular past time in Virginia

I imagine it's because it's the only state with a sexual reference

[Cabcere]

53. Apparently, though, it's illegal to do it with the lights on in VA

:shrug: Not sure why anybody would want to, but, y'know...

[Tektonik]

4. because having sex with one

does not cure AIDS

[RetroLounge]

7. Got a link?

:rofl:

RL

[mark414]

5. because it would make Jesus cry

[RetroLounge]

6. Good Point...

how ya doing?

:hi:

RL

[mark414]

9. doin great bro

i've been back in wisconsin for a couple of weeks for my brother's wedding and to save up some money for my next big trip...i'm finally going to escape the winter blues and head to hawaii for a few months, where life will be a combination of working on organic farms and riding my bike around the islands, camping on the beaches with a friend of mine.

this past summer was epic...portland ME to portland OR; canada and mexico...half the summer on my own thumbing it and riding the rails, the other half in a 1970 VW Bus with two very good friends of mine. life has been too good to me.

what're you up to these days?? good to see yer still around :hi:

:toast:

[BarenakedLady]

10. That sounds awesome!

I wanna go...

:cry:

[billyskank]

13. You are invited to England too.

:hi:

[BarenakedLady]

19. I wish...

*sigh*

:hi:

[billyskank]

27. Well I'll come visit you one day instead

I mean properly. :hug:

:hi:

[mark414]

15. come on out it'll be great

as long as you're able to stomach not working 2 or 3 or sometimes 4 weeks per month, having not a care in the world and being able to fully understand what complete freedom feels like, and also occasionally dealing with sand in your underwear. other requirements include the ability to enjoy breathtaking scenery and sunsets, sleeping any place you can find (mostly beaches), and waking up in the morning having no idea what's going to happen that day (and relishing in that fact). a leisurely attitude and willingness to occasionally (or sometimes frequently) leave sobriety behind is also good.

i leave the mainland late november and i'll be there until march or april or whenever.

[BarenakedLady]

18. *sob*

Ahhhh to be young and carefree. I'm completely jealous of you, damn it!

:cry:

[HuskerDU]

17. Hey you remind me of someone...

I got it- Woody Guthrie! Damn jealous of whatcha been up to mark. I haven't hitched or hopped a train in a decade. Boring old man now. :-(

[Inchworm]

24. A summer to remember for sure

I did a lot of wandering like that back in the early 90s. A trip I'll never forget.

:toast:

[Droopy]

11. It's been so long that I think I have reverted to a virgin status.

I'm very odd in regards to my sexuality. I like to have sex, but it doesn't drive me like it does a lot of people my age. I'm perfectly happy going without and focusing my energy elsewhere- like trying to make more money.

[Bucky]

31. Then October is YOUR MONTH, buddy!

[TZ]

16. Okay, confession

I am one (and I am 38). Its kind of a combination of detesting dating (I hate the head games) and either going out with schmucks I could not stand and had no intention of giving it up to and kind of vice versa, since I am not conventionally pretty.
Love and intimacy/sexual desire are linked to me and I don't feel that kind of desire for a man all that often. And when I do you would be surprised how many times my revealing my status to a potential partner has SCARED THEM OFF.
I have had a little experience though and really its become quite tiresome. Someway somehow I will not become a "Forty Year Old Virgin" a movie, I have little interest in seeing at this point.

[Missy Vixen]

35. Turtlensue, I hope the right person

that you are comfortable with presents himself.

I waited a long time, too, mostly because I had some of the same issues. Plus, I am a former fundamentalist, so I had to get past that whole "burn in hell" thing as well.

"The Forty Year Old Virgin" kind of pissed me off. Sexuality is a complicated and wonderful thing. Maybe people should deal with it on their own or with a potential partner, instead of being shamed or otherwise pressured by those who might need to find something else to do with their time. IMHO, YMMV.

Julie

[TZ]

42. oh well...

There is someone I would love to be with and I do have an emotional attachment..cept he lives on the other side of the planet..Oh well, who knows, if its meant to be it will happen (I have never found anyone that I have such a stong emotional connection with) in the meantime, I have some pleasant thoughts/dreams and on a really rare occasion, there has been some computer action......better than nothing I supppose....:)

[Crunchy Frog]

58. Wow, I thought I was the only one in that boat,

except that I'm 44.

I guess technically I could just find someone in a bar, or even pay someone, but I just can't see doing it with someone I don't feel an attraction and an emotional connection to, and I just don't seem to be equipped with the social skills to go out and find that kind of a relationship.

The really sad thing is that I actually do have a sex drive; maybe even a fairly strong one, though I really don't have much of a basis for judging that.

I hate my life, and I don't know how to change it. :(

[TZ]

60. yes, there seems to be some myths

surrounding those of us older ones- that we are this way because we chose to be (sort of) or that we don't have any kind of sex drive, which is definitely *not* my issue although I do have a friend about my age who is a virgin as well but she definitely falls into the not that interested in sex category..

[Crunchy Frog]

61. The people who think that it can only have religious insanity as a basis.

I'm not religious, and I know you're not either. I was raised in an almost completely non-religious family. My parents were able to fill me with shame, guilt and fear about my sexuality with no help from religion whatsoever.

[Missy Vixen]

73. I think it's weird that society on the whole

seems to believe there is something wrong with anyone who chooses not to have sex before they're 21. Then again, I believe there's something amiss about anyone who thinks it's important to have sex with as many people as possible, but that's just me.

I wasn't going to indulge till I met someone I felt comfortable with. It took awhile ;-).

Julie

[applegrove]

79. Speaking as someone who took a long time to loose it.... sometimes

you just are not made out to be in a relationship and are, at the same time, not the type of person who wants casual sex. There are lots and lots of people out there who just don't want either one. Often they are older women. Sometimes they are young. For me it is a communication issue. I just feel content while in my own thoughts and feel less content communicating - though I can do it for a few hours..it isn't how I am built.

[BlueIris]

82. You're my new hero.

No, really. It takes a lot of self-respect to wait for the right time/person. Especially in this society, where, contrary to what the Bush Admin is trying to suggest, the predominant social message isn't "Wait and you'll be successful," it's "Screw or you'll die broke and lonely." Which is fucked up, no pun intended.

[Critters2]

95. Thanks for posting this, turtlensue.

I have a friend who is in a similar situation--a colleague I really admire, who has had a really fascinating life. She worked for an aid org in South Asia for a few years, went to seminary in later adulthood, is musically gifted. But she hasn't found the right person. I'm always amazed at how okay she is with this. I haven't had such a relationship since my divorce (1997), and I feel like a freak sometimes. So, I have nothing but respect for those who believe, as you state, "Love and intimacy/sexual desire are linked". Most refreshing. Thank you!

[bif]

20. "To all virgins, thanks for nothing" was a bumper sticker I saw

[undeterred]

21. Because someone has convinced you that you will burn

in hell if you have sex and you're not married, OR because if you have sex with someone and you are not married you really will have to marry this person whether you love them or not, just because you've had sex with them. And because you haven't had sex, you think its a much bigger deal than it really is.

[Cabcere]

22. No one's been really worth it yet, for me

(I know, I know, that sounds horribly self-righteous, but I have dated a LOT of assholes in my 21 years.) x( :shrug:

[Bucky]

33. What if wore a silk shirt unbuttoned to show off my chest hair and did finger guns at you?

I'll bet that would win you over.

[Cabcere]

36. Well, that would depend...

What color is the silk shirt? :P And would you make sound effects for the finger guns? All very important for my consideration, you see. ;) :hi:

[Bucky]

38. *click*click*, babe

♪ Is paisley lamé a color? ♪

[Cabcere]

39. Haha! All right, I'm in.

:rofl: :hi:

[fizzgig]

51. i don't think that's self-righteous at all

that's a very healthy outlook, imho

[AZBlue]

64. That was my reason.

I stayed a virgin longer than was "fashionable" and it was simply a matter of lack of quality.

Unfortunately, 20ish years later, I'm running into that issue again, but that's another story! :D

[RevolutionaryActs]

23. I was going to say something

but I thought better of it. ;)

[billyskank]

26. Rev!!!!

:*

[RevolutionaryActs]

28. Hiya!!

:*

[ThoughtCriminal]

25. Do virgins taste better than those who are not?

words by Randy Farran, music traditional (Irish Washerwoman)

A dragon has come to our village today.
We've asked him to leave, but he won't go away.
Now he's talked to our king and they worked out a deal.
No homes will he burn and no crops will he steal.

Now there is but one catch, we dislike it a bunch.
Twice a year he invites him a virgin to lunch.
Well, we've no other choice, so the deal we'll respect.
But we can't help but wonder and pause to reflect.

Do virgins taste better than those who are not?
Are they salty, or sweeter, more juicy or what?
Do you savor them slowly? Gulp them down on the spot?
Do virgins taste better than those who are not?
.
.
.
More:

http://www.thebards.net/music/lyrics/Do_Virgins_Taste_Better.shtml

[Taverner]

29. Pleasure is deferred gratification

So, they take it to an unhealthy extreme. I think when they finally have sex, they are a bit unimpressed that it's just another biological function. That's why I won't advise it to my children.

[SarahB]

30. two reasons (I'm talking for adults)

1. they don't like sex and aren't really interested
2. they don't like sex and aren't really interested and they use religion to support this

[TK421]

34. Because I've already told them how overrated it was, and they figured

that they wouldn't be missing much? ;)

[catmandu57]

37. Vitgins are overated

I'll take a slutty older woman anytime, someone in their forties whose been around the block a time or two.

[philosophie_en_rose]

40. Pillow Pants & Listerfiend

:rofl:

[WildEyedLiberal]

41. Because most of the guys I meet are douches and I have standards

[struggle4progress]

43. I think it's grossly unfair of you to deny douche-guys a go at girls with standards

[BlueIris]

84. This comment horrifies me.

[struggle4progress]

89. No need for horror: it's just another of my many tasteless jokes falling flat

[rockymountaindem]

96. I laughed

Even though I know it's one of those things I'm not supposed to laugh at, and I feel guilty about it now.

[struggle4progress]

98. Careful! You may unintentionally encourage my tendencies to sardonic witlessness

[BlueIris]

85. Good for you.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

93. So... come here often?

;) :rofl:

[WildEyedLiberal]

97. Hey bay-bee!

:rofl:

;)

[bigwillq]

44. I don't get it either.

I don't get the people that wait for marriage. While I don't think sex is always the most important thing, it still is an important thing! What if you wait for marriage and then the guy/girl and yourself are just not compatible? :shrug:

[TK421]

48. By compatible, what exactly do you mean? One would hope that two

people would figure they are right for each other before making the decision to marry...unless it's discovered that he is a she or vice-versa on the wedding night

[alcibiades_mystery]

71. You can be personally compatible and not sexually compatible

This is why dating happens. You get to find out both.

This is also why the sex-love connection is dangerous. Sex need not have anything to do with love. The notion that they must be inextricably linked is ridiculous.

[bigwillq]

80. Compatible sexually

If they wait for marriage, they won't know. I think that's important for a number of reasons. What if it sucks? So they are forced to stay married forever?! :shrug: Doesn't make sense to me. If it sucks, I think it may lead to them straying. There are other issues besides it sucking, no pun intended but I'll keep it clean here.

[bigwillq]

45. dupe

[bigwillq]

46. Dupe #2

[sanguinivorous]

47. Because...

...I'm short, butt ugly as hell, poor, morbidly shy, and nobody (so far as I can tell) has ever been even remotely attracted to me.

[XemaSab]

91. That, and maybe the blood-sucking thing

:shrug:

[Book Lover]

49. Gimme some good reasons *why*

Not that it's relevant to me personally anymore...

[DarkTirade]

50. Because it's illegal to sacrifice them nowadays, even if it's your religion.

Freedom of religion my ass...

[WritingIsMyReligion]

54. Why?

STDs and pregnancy aren't my thing, and I'm not willing to (literally) fuck around for the fun of it, even when I'm older.

:shrug:

[NNadir]

55. And that...

...is a perfectly sensible approach.

Having sex with a lot of different people is highly over rated.

There are incredible risks associated with promiscuity.

I've had one and the same lover for the last 23 years and I consider myself very, very, very fortunate.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

66. use condoms and birth control.

[fizzgig]

67. stop using logic

:P

[La Lioness Priyanka]

68. i dont want her to grow up and be one of those people who hate the world

cos they arent getting laid.

:P

:hi:

:loveya:

[WritingIsMyReligion]

70. Still.

Neither is 100% effective. Infinitely better than using none at all, yes, but I'm not sleeping with anyone until the full gamut of tests has been run and I'm sure I love him. I doubt sex is worth catching anything.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

88. well thats good and sensible.

[Crunchy Frog]

56. Because I didn't develop normally socially.

Because I don't know how to meet people and form relationships, and I just can't see falling into bed with someone that I don't feel some sort of emotional connection with.

I don't like being this way, I hate it, and whenever I really get to thinking about it, I just want to get a gun and shoot myself.

[WritingIsMyReligion]

74. ..,

:hug:

I know how you feel. I've already been told by my own mother that my lack of pure physical sexual attraction (to other people) is abnormal--essentially, that I'm "frigid." Gee, thanks, asshole.

[XemaSab]

92. Eh, I was called "frigid" before

Not being attracted to nasty guys doesn't make you abnormal. :P

[rucky]

57. Some do it for health reasons, others for humanitarian reasons.

They just don't eat animal byproducts.

[fudge stripe cookays]

59. .

Why haven't they....YOU know? Or why haven't they YOU know, with you?

:D

[RetroLounge]

62. 60 replies?

for a copycat?

:shrug:

:rofl:

RL

[billyskank]

72. Maybe

there's a lot of people out there who aren't getting as much as they're "supposed" to. :shrug:

[RetroLounge]

77. Count me in...

Maybe I can be an honorary virgin...

:D

RL

[Ekirh]

63. Cause . .

It's not important to me?

I don't care?

I'm not dating?

either one of those three probably work.

There's probably a serious more in depth answer somwhere, but that's what I can offer right now.

[njdemocrat106]

65. If any man or woman finds me attractive, they're crazier than I am

The only time I've been called "good looking" by someone other than a family member was by some drunk guy at a 7-Eleven after midnight one time. Everyone looks better when they're drunk, right? (And for the record, I'm 26 and I've never gotten any).

[Skittles]

86. ?

doesn't just take "good looks" to "get any". A nice disposition and a great sense of humor go a long way - I remember being at a concert with one of my boyfriends and young folk coming up to him saying, YOU LOOK JUST LIKE RONNIE JAMES DIO. Not exactly James Bond ya know. You sound like you need some confidence!

[alcibiades_mystery]

69. When you haven't done it, you think it's a big deal

When you've done it a lot, you realize it's just another thing, like washing the car or ordering dessert.

Virgins are mystified by their non-knowledge

[yoyossarian]

75. Because they're washing their hair every Saturday night!

Don't you?

:shrug:

Try TALKING to girls! Girls LOVE to talk!



T-shirts, mugs, buttons n' cards at
http://cafepress.com/laughcity

[NewWaveChick1981]

76. Hey----everyone was/is a virgin at some point....

:P :hi: :rofl: Funny damn copycat! :thumbsup:

[The Inquisitive]

78. It's complicated...

This is more or less how I see it. I'm hyperconcious when it comes to social affairs, meaning I constantly and interpreting every little minute detail of peoples actions. Additionally I'm extremely judgemental and a negative way and I project this onto other people and assume that to be the norm. This is coupled with a generally low self esteem that is the remnants of a childhood in which I was obese and addicted to video games. I this fixed 4 years ago, became athletic, began to excel at academics, and picked up a variety of interesting hobbies etc but the self esteem remains an issue. So because I typically judge others harshly I assume people are always doing the same with me, even though I'm quite aware that most people are indifferent and outgoing. Needless to say putting myself out there entirely on the line utterely defenseless is horrifying to me.

Additionally having been obese and having lost a significant amount of weight and putting on a significant amount of muscle I still have lose skin and some little love handles that I just can't get rid of for the life of me. I've developed some kind of phobia of touch because I'm afraid others will find out I was once overweight and will be turned off by the extra skin in a few places where I had stretch marks.

As a result of disliking social situations I've immersed myself in my work because I know it is something I can comfortably succeed at and gives dependable positive self affirming feed back which I know I crave as I don't feel self worth without it. So I tie self worth to productive capacity.

Lastly I hate authority that I don't consent to, it has been a weird childhood issue that has followed me into college. I go to a prestigous LAC in the Northeast and the social life is in my opinion, rather lackluster in terms of options. I can drink heavily, or smoke, then go out and play grab ass for the night with the female student body who has done the same. While being a human, and a guy, I of course have a sex drive, but I've tamed it, ignore, and concentrate I things I believe will have a long term payoff. Now the authority thing is relevent because I had the collective authority of the student body that has imposed these social norms on me. I refuse to do something just because that is what everyone else does. I do what I want to do, and binge drinking, and smoking weed, which I do partake in on ocassion and do enjoy, is not something I habitually enjoy and find it self destructive, irrational, and no amount of social pressure will push me to do so. I find it degrading to all parties involved and could never "hook up" with a girl and enjoy it under those conditions. Call me a romantic I guess...

Anyway that's most of the factors in a nutshell for me, hope that clarifies it for the OP.

[siouxsiecreamcheese]

81. I'll never understand how someone could just sleep with anyone..

Virgins.. I can completely understand why you stay that way.. whether it be for religious reasons or otherwise. Sex is entirely overrated. and I'm not saying that as a prude, but as someone who has had some GREAT sex.. if you know what I mean.. The only people I've had sex with were people I was in love with and I made damn sure I got satisfaction out of it. When I see some complete stranger, no matter how attractive, the first thing that comes into my mind is not "wow I sure would love to fuck him", but rather "wow I'd like to talk to that guy and see if his mind is just as attractive as he is". There are just not that many people I can look at and say that about them. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but if I need to "get some" I know how to use my hand.. and my hand loves me :D ......forgive me if I rambled.. i'm kinda tipsy :beer:

[SPKrazy]

83. ruh roh

is it the stranger returning?

:yoiks:

[siouxsiecreamcheese]

87. damn straight!!

how ya doin :hi:

[SPKrazy]

90. ha ha!

good!

:rofl:

[AirmensMom]

94. Someone told us ...

we'd go to hell, or something like that. Well, OK, that was ages ago. :shrug: