Inappropriate things to say at a baby's christening...

[zanne]

I'll start; "Do you think he'll/she'll resent this someday?"

[jpgray]

1. "The power of Christ compels you!"

[MrCoffee]

2. "Do we have an old priest and a young priest?"

[MrCoffee]

3. "I brought the book and the bell, anyone have a candle?"

[edbermac]

4. Are those 3 sixes on the baby's head?

What a strange birthmark!

[GreenPartyVoter]

5. Funny, that they've never bothered washing him before this.

[zanne]

6. Is he trying to drown that kid? nt

[MrCoffee]

7. "Where is christening mentioned in the Bible?"

[AlCzervik]

8. Wow i guess i was wrong, all babies aren't cute.

[Dr. Strange]

9. Wait, where's the mohel? n/t

[BurtWorm]

35. "He's obviously been here already. (What? He's *not* circumcized?)"

[ruiner4u]

10. are you trying to turn him gay by putting him in a dress?

[Deja Q]

11. "Let's make another one here and now! Hoist up my skirt!"

[trof]

12. Would you LOOK at the rack on her?

[texas1928]

13. I told you...

If you put him in water he pees.


But NOOOO nobody listens to me.

[texas1928]

14. Watch, I switched the wine for Jack Daniels

[Arugula Latte]

15. I think the baby might be a witch! See if it floats! nt

[BlueJazz]

16. Ummm..He looks a LOT like your Pool-Boy.

[DarkTirade]

17. Tastes like chicken...

Of course, the reason that's wrong is because we humans probably taste more like pork... :)

[BlueIris]

18. "How many are the parents up to now? They do know what causes that, right?"

(Actual statement made to parents I know the day before a baby's christening.)

[peacefreak]

19. Have you figured out who the daddy is yet?

[BlueIris]

20. "Man, did that kid not get anyone's good genes or what?"

[Glorfindel]

21. Did anyone bring a banana for the cute little monkey?

:spank:

[JBoy]

22. When

do I get to smash the champagne bottle across the baby's head?

[skygazer]

23. "Is this an open bar event?"

[rurallib]

24. "if you and the hubby break up, give me a call"

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

25. "Ugly little spud, ain't it!"

:evilgrin:

[DarkTirade]

43. I'd allow ghostbusters quotes... but that's just me. :)

Besides, how ironic would it be if the kid slimed you right then?

[IntravenousDemilo]

26. No, don't feed it after midnight and above all, don't get it wet. I SAID DON'T GET IT -- NOOOOOOO!!!

Aw shit, too late. Run!

[BlueIris]

34. Hee.

[txwhitedove]

27. "Whooooo baby!" That ought to piss off everyone.

[Richardo]

28. "Suck it, Jesus, this award is my God now."

[BurtWorm]

29. "When are they going to break the champagne bottle over him?"

[Kutjara]

30. "That's not how you make baby soup! You have to boil the water first."

[DS1]

31. Rock Lobster!

[BurtWorm]

32. "There's still time to change that ridiculous name!"

[datasuspect]

33. "Hail Satan"

[jobycom]

36. Little brat looks hungry. Whip it out, mom, we won't look.

[NoGOPZone]

37. "Do you think the baby more resembles me or the mother?"

[Fire Walk With Me]

38. "You have no idea how far I got that straw down into that kid's fontanelle. Inches! Wow!"

[BlueIris]

39. "Better watch where that priest puts his hands on the little tike--you know how they are."

[zanne]

40. As the original poster....

I thought this would sink like a stone. Way to go, DU, for coming up with 37 inappropriate things to say at a baby's christening! I'm so proud.

[Xipe Totec]

41. I'm glad to see the father's taken a shine to the little bastard n/t

[Wapsie B]

42. "Who's the real father?

Kid don't look anything like you"

[Richard Steele]

44. "MAZELTOV!"

[Bombero1956]

45. since I'm here

do you mind if I rinse out a few things?

[zabet]

46. Say to the priest..

"You ain't one a dem pedophile priests are ya?"


:hide:

[american_typeculture]

47. "What's the point? That kid will be hooked on crack before they're 12 years old."

"Just like their parents."