THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT IS NOW OPEN. Next.

[ohiosmith]

[Breeze54]

1. I want to sue,

but I don't think you can help me.

Complaints? I have a lot of those!!! :grr:

[ohiosmith]

2. Come on lady, there are people waiting behind you.

[Breeze54]

5. lol

:cry:

[underpants]

3. What has been done about the maps such as with we U.S. Americans?

:shrug:

[ohiosmith]

4. Wrong store buddy. We don't carry maps. Move along.

[NC_Nurse]

6. You know you live in a patriarchy when

they can put a man on the moon, but can't make a menstrual pad that doesn't pull you by the shorthairs.

And I have cramps. :-(

[ohiosmith]

9. How would you like a trip to the moon? Beat it.

[NC_Nurse]

19. When can I go?

:P

[ohiosmith]

21. As soon as I can get around this counter. NEXT!

[MissMillie]

14. perfect!

:thumbsup:

[ohiosmith]

17. What are you? Her support system?

[flvegan]

7. It's too damn hot outside.

[ohiosmith]

10. Don't go outside. NEXT!

[Drum]

8. "I just bought these shoes, and the sole's worn clean through...." nt

[ohiosmith]

12. Do you have your original receipt?

[Drum]

43. Bollocks! I left it at the Argument Clinic....

:shrug:

[ohiosmith]

45. In that case let me recommend a good cobbler. NEXT!

[madinmaryland]

11. Here's mine! I NEED AN ANSWER NOW!!1!!

Donald Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

:evilgrin:

[ohiosmith]

15. SCRAM! ya wise ass.

[dolo amber]

13. The mosquitos were divebombing me this morning

when I was walking the kid to school. I wish to not be crashed into by tiny bloodsuckers. x(

[ohiosmith]

18. What do I look like lady? The Orkin man? NEXT!

[MissMillie]

16. my son's an ungrateful oaf!

can I trade him in for a better model (not necessarily newer)?

[ohiosmith]

20. Only if you return him in the original packaging. NEXT!

[Ellen Forradalom]

22. This shit on a shingle is overcooked.

I ordered it medium rare.

[ohiosmith]

24. All meals are cooked to order so long as you order what we cook. You want medium rare? Next time

order the strawberry jello. NEXT!

[LeftyMom]

23. My car is covered in ash and I just washed it a few days ago.

[ohiosmith]

25. Cut back on you smoking. NEXT!

[flvegan]

26. Damn but this Complaint Department sucks.

[ohiosmith]

30. Complaint Department complaint line forms to the left. NEXT!

[HERVEPA]

27. My body is deteriorating too rapidly

Pulled hamstring, achilles tendons, and so on.

[ohiosmith]

33. You think it's bad now, wait a couple of years. Then you'll really have something to bitch about.

NEXT!

[regularguy]

28. Everyone's always complaining. It's annoying me!

Make them stop!

[ohiosmith]

34. Beat it smart ass. NEXT!

[TZ]

29. I'm tired of doing paperwork

just to be sure I'm pre-trained properly for my training session next week at work

[ohiosmith]

37. Have a couple of shots of bourbon. NEXT!

[underpants]

31. Why doesn't the complaint department have extended hours?

[ohiosmith]

39. So we don't have to deal with the children of the night like you. NEXT!

[underpants]

32. I took a number but my number is broken

Who do I see about that?

[Hugin]

Mine is a perfect square...

I DEMAND A ROUND NUMBER!

[ohiosmith]

52. I got your round number. Right here buddy. NEXT!

[ohiosmith]

40. Go down to Joey's at the corner. Ask for Guido. Tell him about your number. He'll take care of it

NEXT!

[flvegan]

35. These pretzels are making me thirsty.

[ohiosmith]

41. Your whining is making me nauseous. NEXT!

[Hugin]

36. I like pie.

:shrug:

[ohiosmith]

42. That's obvious. NEXT!

[no name no slogan]

38. My weener is too long

it spills over the ends of my bun

[ohiosmith]

44. You should be so lucky. NEXT!

[lost-in-nj]

46. So um

is this what you do for a living????


if not it should be.....


no complaints
right now


:scared: :scared:

lost

[ohiosmith]

48. It's my hobby. My real job is Grief Counselor. Come back when you have a complaint. NEXT!

[skygazer]

47. This line is too long

I forgot my complaint and would like to lodge a complaint about that. x(

[ohiosmith]

49. That line forms to the right. NEXT!

[LSK]

50. UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE NOW!!!!

:grr: :grr: :grr:

[ohiosmith]

51. By the looks of you, NOW is too late. NEXT!

[Dr. Strange]

53. I can't wait until 2008.

I want to watch the new season of Battlestar Galactica NOW!

[ohiosmith]

55. I can't wait for the next complaint. NEXT!

[krispos42]

54. I lost my girl, my truck, my boots, and my dog. n/t

[ohiosmith]

56. Smoke some crack and write a C&W song. NEXT!

[underpants]

57. Flop sweat isn't a very good lubricant

[underpants]

58. Flop sweat isn't a very good lubricant

[ohiosmith]

61. And, it causes short term memory lose. NEXT!

[billyskank]

59. This buff nude guy arrived in a weird glowing sphere

he said "I need your clothes, your boots and your motorcycle," and when I said no he beat the shit out of me!

[ohiosmith]

64. This is the Complaint Department not the psycho ward. NEXT!

[triguy46]

60. You say my foot touched yours, I don't remember, if you say so, I suppose it happened.

[ohiosmith]

65. You have toilet paper stuck to your shoe. NEXT!

[krispos42]

62. My arm hurts when I move it like this n/t

[ohiosmith]

66. Smoke some crack and write a C&W song. NEXT!

[underpants]

63. The title of this magazine is very deceiving

[ohiosmith]

67. If you're trying to return it, forget it. It's all covered with flop sweat. NEXT!

[regularguy]

68. The Boss won't pay me unless I work. Tsup wid that?

[ohiosmith]

69. You're fired. Hit the bricks ya bum. NEXT!

[krispos42]

70. I just smoked a bunch of crack...

and I think my wallet and saltshaker are conspiring to kill me and steal the manuscript for my new country western song!

[ohiosmith]

71. Are you fucking nuts? Coming in here with no pants on? NEXT!

[Dr. Strange]

72. Is it still open?

I have a complaint. Hello? Anyone here?

[triguy46]

73. Hey! Wake up! I was here yesterday, and I'm still not satisfied!

[Dr. Strange]

74. I'm still not satisfied!

Boy, if I had a dollar for every time someone has said that to ohiosmith...
:rofl:

[Critters2]

75. I am sick to death of trying to explain the problem of evil! nt

[ohiosmith]

78. Then quit trying. NEXT!

[rug]

76. Your flag is too damn pointy.

[ohiosmith]

80. Get a haircut. NEXT!

[In_The_Wind]

77. I want the cord of firewood I ordered two months ago!

Mr Yander you should only promise what you are willing to deliver.
I'm taking my business, my money, elsewhere!

[ohiosmith]

81. People in hell want Coke machines. NEXT!

[LeftyMom]

79. flvegan won't get my name tattooed on his ass.

[ohiosmith]

82. How about on his,.......

use your imagination. NEXT!

[zanne]

83. It's about 90 degrees and the AC is barely working!

[ohiosmith]

84. You and the AC have a lot in common. NEXT!

[ohiosmith]

85. THE COMPLAINT DEPARTMENT IS NOW CLOSED

It's been a pleasure serving you, our valued customers.

[LeftyMom]

86. The complaint department's hours are inconvenient.

[ohiosmith]

87. Not for me. NEXT!