Today, I was called a homophobe

[Critters2]

That cuts it. I'm going to try to take some time to cool down, but I'm probably going to resign. This has never been a good match for me. But I have advocated and taken risks and worked hard and the thanks I get is that it wasn't enough.

Threw in the ol' "calling yourself bi just means your afraid to call yourself gay" canard, too.

There are places that would be glad to have me.

Thanks for letting me rant.

[KitchenWitch]

1. I am sorry!

Will you be okay if you resign? Are there other churches you could go to?

[Critters2]

2. Yeah. I'm going to have to explain why I was only here

2 1/2 years. But I'm willing--eager, in fact--to serve rural areas. They have trouble getting pastors, so the fact that I'm not averse to going to rural Iowa or Nebraska or the Dakotas pretty much guarantees me getting another call.

I've already talked to the ACM in South Dakota, and he says he can have me in a new call by the end of the year, even without an updated profile (resume). Especially because I have really strong references from the last rural setting I was in. That I did well in a place where a lot of clergy don't want to be and aren't happy will count in my favor.

[MissMillie]

3. I'm sorry dear

why do people feel the need to label other people or to judge their motives? Especially people who are on their side and trying to help?

I'll never understand it.

[Critters2]

6. Thanks. I don't understand it, either. nt

[IndianaJones]

4. your job places you in a position to be judged in this manner? nt

[Critters2]

5. I'm sorry. What are you asking? nt

[IndianaJones]

7. just curious what type of job opens a person to being accused in this manner. nt.

[Critters2]

9. I'm a pastor. nt

[LibraLiz1973]

8. You've really taken some hits this summer

And I'm sorry. Sometimes it just isn't worth sticking it out.

Good Luck to you- You deserve it!

[Critters2]

10. Yeah, it's been tough. I keep thinking I don't want to just run away

I tend more toward "flight" than "fight", and would prefer neither. But I'm about to flee.

[LibraLiz1973]

12. I think sometimes you have to look at a situation and realize that leaving

DOES NOT mean that you are "quitting" or "running away". There are times when it is best to let your destiny lead you elsewhere.
You've been treated abysmally and I think leaving is the best thing FOR YOU to do.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

11. hey someone called me a homophobe on du too. mostly because i caught him in his biphobic posts.

[IndianaJones]

how would you characterize the split between straights and gays

on this issue?

[Critters2]

16. The issue has to do with professional conduct of a colleague,

I serve a liberal congregation that is open to gay members. There are straight members taking the sides of gay members and vice versa. It's a bit complicated, but the real issue is one of professional respect.

It's complicated, but suffice to say I am not a homophobe.

[IndianaJones]

I was really more wondering if phobia toward bisexuals....

is prevalent in the gay community.

[Critters2]

18. Oh, that.

I haven't experienced it much. It seems to come out when someone's just looking for a way to express anger. It's the soft under-belly that's easy to attack. I have found that bisexuality is difficult for both straights and gays to understand. But not everyone jumps from not understanding to being unkind.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

20. not so much, but the ones that are phobic are also very vocal.

[Critters2]

14. Really? Someone who hadn't lurked long enough,

apparently.

This was in rl. I was actually warned by staff that this would probably happen. Not that that helps.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. the one thing i have learnt is that very few people are truly not bigoted

most people are bigoted one way or the other. some peoples bigotry just affects my life more.

i hope you can get past this. some gay people will always see bi people as closeted gays. or they cant tell the difference between a girl who kisses another girl to excite men vs someone who is truly bi/pansexual.

most queers will support you and those are the ones that count.

[Critters2]

17. Pansexual! Such a better word!! nt

[FloridaJudy]

21. Sexual orientation really is a continuum

Almost nobody is strictly gay or strictly straight. There used to be a test you could take, put out by some major University's Psych Department, to see where one stood. I remember my result was mostly het (66/33 or thereabouts).

So it strikes me as silly to condemn anyone for their sexual orientation. We are what we are, and the world would be a boring place if we were all alike.

If a hug would help, I have a few to offer. :hug: :pals:

[skygazer]

13. Sometimes you just have to move on

There are places that would be incredibly fortunate to have you and you deserve to be appreciated. For what it's worth, we appreciate you. :hug:

[Critters2]

19. Thanks for your kind words on my day off

I'm going to go take a nap.


Because I can.

[BlueIris]

22. People who trot out that "calling yourself bi just means you're afraid to call yourself gay"

crap are doing this little thing called projecting if you ask me. Makes you wonder what they're "afraid" of.