I can't believe what I just learned about my boss.

[DS1]

I've known he's been kind of 'off' for awhile, but this takes the cake.

He has a metal bracelet, it looks like one of those Medi-Alert deals where there's info for people if an ambulance is called. I wrongly assumed it was because he was diabetic or something alone those lines.

It's not.

It's his freeze bracelet/proof of payment. If he dies, he's getting frozen until whatever year the ability to unfreeze people and restart life is perfected.

This explains his username.

Cryonics






Help

[AllegroRondo]

1. his whole body, or just his head?

does he have a space reserved next to Walt Disney and Joe Dimaggio?

[LostinVA]

3. The Disney thing is false, and I think it's Ted Williams

[DS1]

4. Whole body

I just asked

:D

[Zavulon]

2. The way this world is going, even if he wakes up years in the future

he'll probably wish he never spent the money.

[Fire Walk With Me]

5. Those wily Tibetans say that freezing won't work. A dead body is dead, and the

consciousness departs.

It's easier to learn certain spiritual principles than to pay for freezing. I don't get it.

[underpants]

6. See if it works

:bounce:

[MrCoffee]

personally, i'm going with carbonite. it's a proven technology.

[billyoc]

7. "Hey Boss, what's to keep me from stealing it when you die"

"and putting it on my own wrist for when I die?" :rofl:

[jobycom]

20. That's my thought. Kill him and steal the bracelet.

Who knows, it might work.

[DS1]

21. heh

or just before the big freeze, put a human skull on him biting his dick

that would be neat to wake up to

[Ikonoklast]

8. Tell him that it's all a huge scam

The cryogenics companies are getting clients to sign up because they already know how to revive them. They have an evil plan in place for world domination.

The only problem is, they come back as pasty-faced, drooling, mindless zombies. Dick Cheney was one of their first clients that was revived successfully. He actually died back in '93.

Take a good look at him and tell me otherwise.

Anyway, when they get enough corpsicles under contract, they will revive them all at once and take over the world using the frozen undead to eat our brains while we sleep. Your boss will be just like them, he will have no will of his own.



I think this is where Republicans come from, but I'm not sure.

[jus_the_facts]

9. Sorta reminds me of this tale.... The Door Into Summer ~ Robert Heinlein....

:D

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Door_into_Summer

Wishing to stay independent, Dan opposed the takeover, but was outvoted and then fired as Chief Engineer. Left with a large financial settlement, and his remaining Hired Girl stock, he elects to take "cold sleep" with his beloved pet cat "Pete", hoping to wake up thirty years later to a brighter future.

[Bassic]

10. What does he have?

Is he ill?

[kay1864]

11. Seriously, why is that so goofy?

If it works, it's the only way to come back, if you're not Jesus or Voldemort.

[billyskank]

12. A fool and his money are easily parted.

:hi:

[kay1864]

13. $1250 for a chance at resurrection seems pretty cheap to me

Plus about $70 a year for life insurance. Hell, you save way over $1250 by not having a casket at the funeral, not to mention the rest of the costs.

[Dragonbreathp9d]

14. AWESOME!

Hopefully its like Vanillia Sky!

[ghostsofgiants]

17. Or Futurama.

[Shine]

15. Well, to each, their own.

it takes all kinds..... :eyes:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

16. tee hee.

[hunter]

18. It's all just cannibal survivalists hoarding food.

What a scam. Their dinner actually pays to keep itself frozen.

[Taverner]

19. A man can dream....

But everything must die, that's the law

[soleft]

22. He needs to watch Vanilla Sky

[SOteric]

23. What if he dies ~way~-the-fuck out at sea on his precious boat?

[DS1]

25. At that point I'm turning in my land legs and becoming a pirate

Yarr, tis a nice flat screen television in this here ship

[havocmom]

24. Create a 'magazine article' about bracelets being stolen via cut off hands...

Worry the idiot to death.

:evilgrin:

[matcom]

26. Restarting Life will be perfected the day BEFORE

another repuke gets elected. then the SCOTUS will block it for being 'against god' and immoral

tell your boss he is simply fucked :rofl:

[jmowreader]

27. OLD freezing/computer joke...

In 1998, a Cobol* programmer decided he was tired of working on the Y2K changeover. He was flipping through a magazine when he saw an ad for cryopreservation. This outfit specialized in freezing LIVE people...they put you into cryostasis and a few years later thawed you out. Thought he, "perfect! I'll get frozen until 2001 and all the Y2K stuff should be done by then." So he signed up to be frozen and reanimated.

When they finally thawed him out, there were about fifty people around his bed, and they were all jumping for joy. The doctor spoke first.

"Sir, there's been a terrible mistake. Someone forgot to thaw you out until now. It's quite a bit later than you bargained for...several thousand years later, in fact, and for that we apologize."
'Is that so? How's the world now?'
"Perfect. There's no more war. There's no more hunger or poverty. Disease is a thing of the past, as are pollution and global warming. Racism hasn't reared its ugly head in millennia, and in fact there isn't even any crime. All because of this special herb called Marijuana. Legalizing it has solved all of the world's problems."
'Well...if life is so perfect, how come you are all so happy to see me?'
"Umm...well...it's the year 9998. We checked your records...and it seems you know Cobol."

*Cobol is a really ancient computer language.