Furniture panics while couple adopts a cat.

[Deep13]

BOSTON- The antigue, wooden furniture, flooring and baseboards expressed concern and alarm as owners Daryl and Linda Kramer decided to adopt a kitten. The apartment is a North End antebellum brownstone. It was been host to such notables as Frederick Douglass, Julia Ward Howe, Nathaniel Hawthorn and Conan O'Brien. All the furniture and woodwork is original to the building.

Linda Kramer, a cardiologist, stated "A cat will be nice. It is not too much trouble and will give me companionship. Daryl is great, but sometimes I need a companian who is not so sarcastic and who puts out once in awhile." Daryl, consultant for a prominent energy lobbyist who routinely nails his receptionist, agreed enthusiastically saying, "Yeah, well, whatever. It's cheaper than a divorce lawyer."

Disagreement came from the 1852 gateleg table once used by Henry Cabott-Lodge to stuff ballot boxes and by Dennis Leary for inventing new curse words. "Great, after surviving in perfect condition through three major wars, the humid climate and that orgy of B.U. students I get to be clawed to matchsticks by Fluffy. Where are those gay twins from Antique Roadshow when you need 'em?" An original Louis XVI armchair echoed the concern. "Zee kitt-ee will get zee fur and zee how-you-say piss on my original French ah-polster-ee. It is not good. Non." Particularly upset are the original quarter-sawn oak floors. "So this chick needs something that will love her so I have to deal with a box of shit on my original lumber. Hey, that ain't varnish, asshole. It is just wax and cat piss will go right through it. That feline bastard had better be a good shot is all I can say."

[Deep13]

1. kick for evening crowd.

Geez. Guess I'll keep my day job.

[Midlodemocrat]

2. Did you write that? It's very funny.

:thumbsup:

[Deep13]

3. Yeah, I thought of it last night. nt

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Good job. I think it is very funny.

[Deep13]

5. thanks nt

[yellowdogintexas]

6. and I like it too. This has potential for expansion...nt

[Kajsa]

7. I like it!

- and as the human momma for two male
kitties who have decimated much of my furniture-

I can relate !

I can see this on video.

:hi: :thumbsup:

[Maddy McCall]

8. Hahaha!

You should write for The Onion. That's GREAT. :rofl:

[Deep13]

9. Thanks all.

Fluffy the kitten responded to interview requests by flipping us off with its fuzzy paw.