Post Bad Advice here...

[Hugin]

on any topic.

You know you've got it and it's time to get it off your chest. :)

[BarenakedLady]

1. When shopping on a hot summers day

It's better to leave your kids and/or pets in the car while you do grocery shopping.

Take your time, enjoy the break.

[Hugin]

9. Roll up the windows for extra security...

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

14. Of course

You don't want anyone to take off in your car!

[AllegroRondo]

2. Wiring diagrams are just suggestions

you dont really need a ground wire.

[unpossibles]

5. hahaha!!

ground wires are for wimps and pessimists!

[unpossibles]

3. don't forget to shake the baby!

I also find the Olive Garden to have the best and most authentic Italian food in the world.

[Hugin]

8. ...

Oh GAWD... This is so bad, but, I'm laughing anyway. :rofl:

[stuntcat]

39. and if you drop it on the floor,

apply the five-second rule

[Hugin]

42. repeatedly...

Your child will have a great future in the Corporate Broadcast Industry.

[flvegan]

4. When you make $1 million a month, dabble in dogfighting on the side.

It's worth the risk.

[Inchworm]

6. Drive slow in the left lane!

:hi:

[LeftyMom]

7. Soy Delicious and Tings is a sensible evening meal.

[Deja Q]

10. If you have money to burn, make 'balloon doggies' out of condoms.

:evilgrin:

[Hugin]

11. Always wear eye protection while eating cheese...

Not just that eye-talian cheese.

[LanternWaste]

12. The day after the office party, go to your boss and loudly say,

The day after the office party, go to your boss and loudly say, "Honest, chief-- I had no idea she was your wife!"

[formerrepuke]

13. You can't get pregnant the 1st time you 'do it'........

[La Lioness Priyanka]

15. make sure the dems know that any false move on their part and they lose their base

this constant sense of insecurity, will magically endow them with courage.

[MissMillie]

16. use a hairdryer while sitting in a bathtub full of water

and uh... vote republican

[Hugin]

17. It's also nice to have a toaster oven close by for a little snack...

:hi: MissMillie

[unpossibles]

18. don't vote since no one truly represents you

and the best way to change this it to do nothing about it at all. That'll show 'em!

[Hugin]

20. Yeah!

:yourock:

[Hugin]

19. No need to wear a seatbelt in a vehicle, you might have to get out fast sometime.

[QMPMom]

21. Fall in love with a Canadian and move to Canada......

OK...so I'm pissed at my husband this morning and wondering WHY did I do it???????????

Seriously, though: Forks are good for getting things out of the toaster.

[Hugin]

34. ...

Well, rant away. :hug:

[Seashell Eyes]

22. When you're at a party

and you see a girl you used to know in high school with a much older man, ask if it's her dad.

[regularguy]

50. Heh.

And if you think she might be pregnant, just ask!

[Debi]

62. OMG...this happened to me and Mr. Debi at my 20 year class reunion

:wow:

The wife of a classmate said it was really neat that I brought my dad to the party. :rofl:

[Seashell Eyes]

67. It almost happened to me.

I'm glad that I didn't put my foot in my mouth. The girl was about 22 years old and her husband looked like Ed Harris.

[pagerbear]

23. Vote for the guy you'd rather a beer with--that indicates he'd do the best job.

[Seashell Eyes]

30. Yes

and vote for the guy who is not as intelligent, because he'll surround himself with smart people. Besides, the other guy is a snob for using big words.

[Hugin]

31. Businessmen will run the gubbermint like a business!

[YankeyMCC]

24. When peeing outside face the wind nt

[LynneSin]

25. Nothing wrong with nose-picking or even eating the boogies - share em with your friends

:D

[Hugin]

26. Just don't scratch yourself with them...

Obscure... Obscure... Obscure, reference to a scene in the "The Golden Child"

[dembotoz]

27. come on--have a couple more beers

you are already late, she won't mind-its only dinner with her parents...

[unpossibles]

28. If you want to make new friends, choose the biggest, scariest, meanest looking guy in the room

and cop a feel on him and his S.O.

[Hugin]

33. Endear yourself even more by saying loudly, "Oh, yeah... You and what Army?"

That'll break any tension you have about meeting and making friends.

[unpossibles]

37. good point.

I find it also helps to give a friendly slap to the face.

[Hugin]

29. The only thing better than ironing nakkid...

is cooking bacon nakkid.

[unpossibles]

70. ha! or perhaps trying to trim your cat's claws naked. n/t

[edbermac]

32. If you're thirsty at the beach, just drink some seawater.

B-)

[flying rabbit]

35. Raw chicken just tastes better.

[Fox Mulder]

36. To get out the toughest stains, mix together ammonia and bleach.

[stuntcat]

38. Trust everyone.

:headbang:

[Deep13]

40. Forget about the condom. You'll never be in Haiti again anyway. nt

[Hugin]

41. To get Skinner's attention post an insult about Al Gore in one of his threads.

(True Story)

[Debi]

65. Heh heh..Al Gore

[ohiosmith]

43. Run with scissors. Jesus people!

[LNM]

44. If your baby won't shut-up on an airplane

Give him a big shot of booze.

[Hugin]

45. or some Babydryl.

and a big shot of booze. :eyes:

[MAGICBULLET]

46. guzzle an entire quart of whole milk

on a 95 degree hot and very humid day...if you're still breathing afterwards, eat a hot dog

[Hugin]

47. ooo... Been there.

Rough one.

[gmoney]

48. "Doctor, I just swallowed a whole bottle of sleeping pills!"

"Don't worry. Have a couple of drinks and get some rest..."

-- paraphrased from Rodney Dangerfield

[Initech]

51. Balance that out with about half a bottle of pep pills

That should do the trick!

[davsand]

49. Go ahead and marry him after he divorces that wife.

You are getting a real prize!


Oh--and be sure and have kids RIGHT away!



Laura

[jpgray]

52. I thought you were going to link to the Lounge

:P

[Throwing Stones]

53. Trust corporations to do the right thing

Also, let your dog eat anything he finds - the carpets could use a steamvac anyway :puke:

[Rambis]

54. When you are hammered blind

make sure when you are driving the car, smoking a joint, while on the cell phone that you have time to do lines of coke off the mirror while steering with your knees.
Lindsay Lohan

[AwakeAtLast]

55. Yellow snow is harmless. Dig in!

:puke:

[Zavulon]

56. Eat lots and lots of fast food. It sanes time and is surprisingly good for you.

:puke:

[otherlander]

57. Don't shit in the woods.

It doesn't matter if you're going to be in the woods for two weeks. Then just don't shit. After about 5 days your digestive system will resemble a backed-up septic system, but that's okay, because at least you didn't shit in the woods.

[Writer]

58. If you've sliced your finger deeply...

apply Tabasco sauce in order to lessen the pain.

[Seashell Eyes]

69. If your out of Tabasco sauce use lemon juice

It has the soothing power of lemons.

[triguy46]

59. don't bother balancing your checkbook. If you have checks, you have money.

The latter is a direct quote from my grandmother in law.

[SCantiGOP]

77. and if the bank says a check bounced

just write them a check to cover the amount and deposit it in your account.

[zanne]

60. Stop signs are optional. nt

[SoxFan]

66. Ah, you've been to Manchester!

:rofl:

[Debi]

61. The larger the vehicle the sweeter the ride..

Go ahead, it's a status symbol :thumbsup:

[BOSSHOG]

63. Leave the car windows rolled down in cast you left the keys in the ignition

[EstimatedProphet]

64. Post in GD

See where that gets ya!

[Inchworm]

68. :)

I felt froggy yesterday and did! I was shocked at how it went. I ain't skeered any more :D

:hi:

[AllegroRondo]

71. Cops are less likely to give you a ticket if you are rude and insulting

they see it as a sign that your are someone important and shouldnt be messed with.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

72. If you see your friend Jack while boarding an airplane,

be sure to greet him with a loud "HI...!"

[CBHagman]

73. Real advice I got a year or so ago.

My background: I'm looking for a new job. Self-appointed advisor's background: a person who sometimes works full-time, sometimes doesn't, but has spouse with a full-time job and health insurance.

The advice was that I should quit my job, live on my savings, and self-insure. :eyes:

Did I mention I live in an area where the cost of living is obscenely high?

I didn't take the advice.

[Vilis Veritas]

74. Don't tug on Superman's cape.

Peace

[cloudbase]

75. That stuff about not smoking while filling your car with gas

is just because they don't want the butts littering the service station. Go ahead-light up and enjoy!

[auburngrad82]

76. You should pee on an electric fence. It's really a lot of fun. nt

[SCantiGOP]

78. invade Iran

bush is hearing this good advice every day from Uncle Dick.

[MysticalChicken]

79. A long-ish one

On a really hot day, go walking for a mile in long sleeves without bringing any water along.

[Initech]

80. Climb to the top of the watchtower and just enjoy the view!

[ruiner4u]

81. Meth is Fun! you wont get addicted from just one time..

[Seashell Eyes]

82. Have a fling with your supervisor