A mini fuck you thread.

[Writer]

Fuck you to the false smiles of those pretending to help me, for the owners of those many unfulfilled promises. You do not understand what you've tossed aside and left behind. And as you cluck your tongues and intone that "that's life," you are ignorant to simply how many you are, but it has been often enough that I now expect empty promises and never, never again have reason to have hope. I was alone before you entered my life, and now I am alone again. But this isn't loneliness by number, but by once again having to manage on my own while the ship on which I was to sail - that promised ticket you never handed me - passes me by.

When no one else cares enough for me, I only have myself to turn to for guidance, hope, love and direction. How can I love and give affection to others while I struggle to provide myself the very basics that I've lacked for all these years?

Yes, indeed, fuck you.

[Mutley]

1. Amen!

:beer:



edit to say: It helps me in my current situation to know I'm not alone in feeling the way I do. I hope my original post didn't come across as insensitive.

[Writer]

57. No, not insensitive at all. I'm just slow on responding in kind.

Thanks! :hug:

[ThomCat]

2. Ultimately, we all stand alone.

I'm sorry.

I hope it helps to know that you have friends and admirers here. :hug:

[Writer]

58. Thank you.

I really hate going through periods of time like this... if I do have friends and admirers, I really hate leaning on all of them like this. I wish there was a means through which I can siphon all of the baggage.

[ThomCat]

73. If you ever find a way of doing that, please find a way

to share it. You'll be loved by a whole lot of grateful people. :)

[LeftyFingerPop]

3. Confusion, despair, loss of hope...

sometimes I think that is all there is.

[huskerlaw]

42. If you truly feel that way,

PLEASE get help. PLEASE.

There are people who love you and care deeply about you.

One of my friends just committed suicide. Nobody had any clue that he was even depressed. Please don't do that to people who love you.

There is always hope and something to fight for. Always.

:hug:

[Writer]

59. By the way, I did see your thread about your friend.

I am so sorry. :hug:

[huskerlaw]

67. Thank you.

I just wish that he knew how much he was loved...and I wish that would have been enough.

:cry:

[Writer]

68. You know... it's so difficult to remove the filter of depression.

When I'm feeling particularly bad, it's nearly impossible to see the bright colors of life. A person can have money, friends, and talent and still not see the good in the world.

Again I'm very sorry. :hug:

[huskerlaw]

69. I think that depression is

one of those things that is incomprehensible to those who haven't experienced it personally.

I suppose that's true of most diseases though. We can be sympathetic and helpful, but there's just no way to truly understand what a person is going through.

It's easy to say "how could he not realize how many people loved him," but that's just it...he COULDN'T. And therein lies the tragedy.

[Writer]

71. It's like anorexia... a person looks in the mirror and sees an overweight person...

a depressed person looks in the mirror and sees a worthless person. It's all a misperception created by poor chemical balances or social conditioning.

[Writer]

61. I have felt all of those emotions at once...

philboy, one thing you should always remember is that in today's world, there always will be people available to lend you an ear. Especially we folks online.

While I speak of loneliness in the "lack of emotional intimacy" sense, don't ever feel that you're lonely in the solitary sense. We are always here.

:hug:

[taterguy]

4. Nothin to say but . . .

:hug: :hug:

[Writer]

62. Thanks, tater.

:hug: :*

[BarenakedLady]

5. sorry

:hug:

[Writer]

63. Thanks, darling.

:hug:

[Tyler Durden]

6. Can I join in?

Fuck you to all the idiots in the medical insurace field who take thousands of dollars to do NOTHING. And fuck you too, all you providers who shrug your shoulders as if to say "Not MY problem," and then move on.

I have sat in yet another fucking ER suffering with my pain for you to tell me that there is NO ONE in your whole fucking hospital that can slip one lousy cc of cortisone into my pinched nerve until FUCKING WEDNESDAY NIGHT??? THAT'S 3 FUCKING DAYS, YOU IDIOTS! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SLEEP, OR WORK? Do you ENJOY our pain? Are you THAT NUMB? I only hope you don't get the same service and runaround when YOU are injured and suffering.

I wouldn't wish that on an enemy, and you qualify for that just about now.

[Deep13]

7. Insurers have no reason to exist.

:(

[ThomCat]

50. I agree.

They should be replaced by a communal funds that are used to pay for unexpected expenses. Insurance is supposed to serve that purpose, but they have become nothing more than financial vampires, sucking money out of people and returning nothing but bureaucracy in return.

Take as much as possible, but give nothing. That seems to be the the definition of the insurance industry.

[BOSSHOG]

9. Congressman Gene Taylor (D) of Mississippi

said their should be a national registry of insurance agents (like those for sex offenders) so you will be able to know if one lives next door to you. He was referring to home owners insurance after Katrina but I think it could apply across the board.

[truedelphi]

19. Like a grim reaper State Farm is there! n/t

[ThomCat]

48. Not just insurance agents. Insurance executives too.

x(

[ThomCat]

47. Wow. That is really horrible.

:cry:
I'm very sorry. There are definitely people in the insurance industry who I think should be afflicted with horrible pain. They should find themselves suffering mysterious ailments that require lots of tests and ongoing treatment that constantly gets denied as by their own peers as "medically unnecessary," "experimental" or "not covered."
:mad:

If you were here, I'd introduce you to my pain management doctor. He's amazing, and he's a surgeon too. When I've needed epidurals he's been able to do them right in his office with the deftest touch I've ever seen.

[Writer]

64. Oh my. I am sorry that happened.

:hug:

[plcdude]

8. Hey

are you all right?

[Writer]

12. I think I could use a bit of sincerity to lighten my mood.

But I'm a rather tough person. Don't worry about me.

[Deep13]

10. (Drill sergeant voice): Pre-e-e-esent bird!

[Writer]

65. Johnny Cash had the right idea.

:thumbsup:

[DS1]

11. the unit query thread is starting to make more sense

/never promised to help you, so fu back! :bounce:

[Deep13]

13. Ah, I thought this was directed at "the man," not another DUer.

My Johnny Cash flipping the bird post is directed towards "the man."

[Writer]

14. A mini kick for a mini fuck...

you thread.

[billyskank]

15. I'll take any kind of fuck...

you thread, mini or maxi. :hi:

[Writer]

17. Careful, because this one may get a bit intense.

;)

[billyskank]

20. I'll manage

;)

:hug:

[plcdude]

16. I sincerely hope

that the day gets better for you.

[Writer]

18. Thanks, man.

I just ate a McDonald's hamburger for the first time in about two or three months. Thought I'd treat myself today. Caloric, fattening hamburgers go well with fuck you threads, I think.

I also have been stuffing envelopes with manuscripts. Let's hope that gets out in the next day, too.

[Starbucks Anarchist]

21. ...

:hug:

[Writer]

72. Thank you, Sweetie.

:hug:

[datasuspect]

22. you can't rely on people

look to help rather than be helped.

no one owes you anything.

care for yourself, lower your expectations, and give more to the world than you take.

that's when it starts to make sense a little

[Writer]

23. I NEVER ask others for help. NEVER. I'm very independent.

But people do come into my life and offer me their help... then they don't follow through and leave me in a lurch.

Also, I have just realized recently that I have been lacking something very fundamental for a long time... that I think I have now more than I have before. That's made me a bit weepy.

[datasuspect]

24. then that tells you they weren't worth the time anyway

if someone offers and then doesn't come through, they're a piece of shit anyway.

it's on them that they couldn't live up to their word.

[Writer]

25. Yeah, I know.

Have you ever been punched in the same spot repeatedly, until that spot grows numb to the touch and both pain and pleasure are absent?

[datasuspect]

27. i don't let anybody get close enough to hurt me anymore

and i hit back.

[Writer]

30. Yes and YES...

that is, if I think the energy is worth it. Some people aren't even worth the time.

[Courtesy Flush]

28. A little cycnicism might help

It seems you were a bit gullible to believe those impulse offers of help. Take them with a grain of salt. They don't owe you anything, and it makes no sense to pin any hopes on their idle talk. When I hear offers like that (which are now rare, at my age), I feign a little interest, then forget about of it. If they follow through (the never do) it will be an unexpected surprise.

Expectations are nothing more than pre-meditated resentments.

[Writer]

29. I have seen it work for other people.

I think healthy skepticism is better than outright cynicism.

[Deja Q]

41. Bill O'Reilly says the same thing.

"Nobody owes anyone anything."

[datasuspect]

49. uh, ok

here's a picture of pollution:





why do you watch o'reilly?

[Deja Q]

54. Because I like to listen to what people have to say.

Even if I don't agree with it.

From about 3 weeks ago - When a person sent him a pithy e-mail about universal health care, his response included that very comment.

[no name no slogan]

26. Don't mince words, tell us how you REALLY feel

:hug:

I'm feeling the same way towards much of the world right now too. Thanks for putting it into words.

[Writer]

31. Oh goodness... let me give you a hug, then.

:hug:

[no name no slogan]

32. aw thanks!

I hope things are getting better for you! I may leave the house today, but I don't know yet (bipolar/depressive episode in full swing, so I pretty much detest everything :dunce:). (except DU of course)

:grouphug:

[Writer]

33. Thanks. I hope they're getting better for you, too.

I'm not bipolar, but I have a long history of depression. The irony is my entire life is sitting in piles on the living room floor. I really need to tend to that...

(sigh!)

:hug:

[no name no slogan]

35. waitaminute, that sounds like MY living room!

Fragments of a disheveled life in piles in every corner. Grandiose plans laid to waste, collecting dust along with that $3000 MacBook recording studio I bought in December, in the hopes of finally recording another CD. Broken guitar strings, unused electronics and rusty harmonicas.

Piles of books and papers from past obsessions, like the Spanish Civil War, computer programming, rock journalism, yoga and miniature wargaming. And massive credit card bills remaining as evidence of earnest intention of the last hypomanic obsession.

Life, gotta love it. At least I'm never bored.

[Writer]

36. LOL

I know that well. Both Mr. Writer and I have piles like that.

Here's my recent pile. Let me give you some hints:

"Dear Fiction Editor..."

"Dear Prose Editor..."

"Dear Demigod Gatekeeper of Literary Criticism..."

;)

[buddhamama]

34. you've adopted the right attitude

i am not saying you should close yourself off from others but if a pattern has been established and there's no trust, there is nothing wrong with walking away and not allowing those people in your life anymore.

[Guava Jelly]

37. ..

“False friends are worst than bitter enemies.”

“False friends are worse than open enemies”

“False friends are like our shadow, keeping close to us while we walk in the sunshine but leaving us when we cross into the shade.”
Christian Nevell Bovee

“True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare. False friends are like leaves, found everywhere.”

“An open enemy is better than a false friend”

“A false friend and a shadow attend only while the sun shines”..Ben Franklin

“Better an honest enemy than a false friend”

“In politics, your friends are false, but your enemies are real”

I am your friend though.. :hug:

[Writer]

38. You are that rare diamond in my life.

A real, honest to goodness friend and confident.

:hug: and :*

[Guava Jelly]

40. Thank you Writer

It is true you know ...To have a good friend you must first be one.
:hug: :*

[Writer]

44. I am not very good at giving to others.

I'm sorry to everyone in this forum that I haven't.

[Deja Q]

45. If I may intercede, I disagree with that.

You've given great advice. Thank you for doing so!

:hug:

[Writer]

46. Oh... well that's good.

I'm glad to know that. :hug:

[Guava Jelly]

51. Giving can be as simple as an ear or a kind word

And you have given me both :)

[Writer]

52. Okay, well that's one...

I have quite a few to go...

[ThomCat]

53. Those are excellent quotes.

I hope we each have a few true friends, and know who they are.

[Deja Q]

39. WTF?

:hug:

[Writer]

56. You're so sweet.

:hug:

[huskerlaw]

43. Dear Writer,

I hope that you find someone who will treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.

Until then, know that there are people who love you, even though it may not seem like it at times.

:hug:

[Writer]

55. Thanks, huskerlaw. I appreciate that.

:hug:

[jpgray]

60. All you reliably change is yourself--try to understand others, and don't blame them

Most people don't go through life trying to be assholes--they have their own ideas of proper behavior and right/wrong that may differ from yours. Understand the differences, try to educate them as to your views, and if you fail at either blame only yourself. Or not even yourself.

[Writer]

66. Right now I'm not at the point where I feel it's correct to punish myself...

for any improper behavior of others. I don't have it in me right now. In fact, I don't think I should ever punish myself for what others have done. I just feel like worthless shit. Okay?

[jpgray]

70. That's where the "or not even yourself" comes in.

[laylah]

74. ...

:hug: I feel that on a regular basis. So many, even here, do not know how special we are. Their loss.

[Writer]

79. Well I'm not aiming to be special...

I'm just aiming to BE.

Thanks :hug:

[rug]

75. Who pissed in your Cheerios?

[laylah]

76. now THERE's a kind response! n/t

[SPKrazy]

77. Yeah, fuck them!

Certainly having had the big lie handed to me enough times to know that it ultimately is each of us on our own. We have people we care about and people we love, but in the end we are the only ones we live with 24/7, and no one else can really "feel" our pain. We can perhaps imagine what other's pain is like and strive to understand it if that is our thing to do, however, I am the captain of my own ship.

My pain, is my pain, and I wear it as part of me because it is what makes me, me. Sometimes that has made me numb, but right now, I feel more alive than I have in ages.

:hi:

[Writer]

78. Thank you.

:hug:

[HEyHEY]

80. "I now expect empty promises and never, never again have reason to have hope."

Jesus Christ. Chill there's ups and downs in life.

[elshiva]

81. May I please make a thread about this?