George Bush is a Saint

[Tesla]

Subject: George Bush is a Saint


President George W. Bush was scheduled to visit the Episcopal Church
outside Washington as part of his campaign to restore his poll
standings.

Bush's campaign manager made a visit to the Bishop, and said to him,
"We've been getting a lot of bad publicity because of the president's
position on stem cell research, the Iraq war, Katrina, and the like.
We'd gladly make a contribution to the church of $100,000 if, during
your sermon, you'd say the President is a Saint."

The Bishop thought it over for a few moments and finally said, "The
Church is in desperate need of funds and I will agree to do it."

Bush showed up for the sermon and the Bishop began: "I'd like to speak
to you all this morning about our President George Bush. He is a liar, a
cheat,and a low-intelligence weasel. He took the tragedy of September 11
and used it to frighten and manipulate the American people. He lied
about weapons of mass destruction and invaded Iraq for oil and money,
causing the deaths oftens of thousands and making the United States the
most hated country on earth.

"He appointed cronies to positions of power and influence, leading to
widespread death and destruction during Hurricane Katrina. He awarded
contracts and tax cuts to his rich friends so that we now have more
poverty in this country, and a greater gap between rich and poor, than
we've had since the Depression.

He instituted illegal wiretaps, when getting a warrant from a secret
court would have been a mere administrative detail, had his henchmen lie
to Congress about it, then claimed he is above the law.

He has headed the most corrupt, bribe-inducing political party since
Teapot Dome. The national surplus has turned into a staggering national
debt of 7.6 trillion dollars, gas prices are up 85%, and vital research
into global warming and stem cells is stopped cold because he's afraid
to lose votes from some religious kooks.

He is the worst example of a true Christian I've ever known.

But compared to Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, George Bush is a Saint."

[nuxvomica]

1. LOL. Nice summary

And I'm sure that his crowd would appreciate -- even respect -- the bishop's carefully parsed, purely technical satisfaction of a promise. :D

[flvegan]

2. And the media would only replay those last 5 words

They're funny like that.