This time, next week, I'll be unmarried.

[Wapsie B]

At least the paperwork will be filed.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

1. How do you feel about it?

[Wapsie B]

3. Relieved.

From all things put together I know I did the right thing.

[LostinVA]

41. Then, good for you

Not everyone knows when it's time to move on.

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

42. Thanks LostinVA.

It was time. Most definitely time to move on. I could feel that in my bones, just like the feeling of peace inside me from finally doing it.

:hug:

[LostinVA]

43. I know -- it's a hard, brave thing to do

[KitchenWitch]

2. Hey, I did not know you WERE married?

[Wapsie B]

4. You didn't?

:shrug:

It wasn't a subject I brought up in conversation a lot. Suffering in silence and all that.

[KitchenWitch]

6. aw, sorry!

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

9. No need to be sorry KW.

:hug:

I'm actually quite happy living on my own right now. Very much so. I've spent so long agonizing over a lot of things. It's just time.

[Joe Fields]

5. well at least you'll have the paperwork filed.

Me? I'm just leaving. I'll file the paperwork somewhere down the road.

[Wapsie B]

7. I just want to move on.

It's way past time.

[Joe Fields]

13. I'm on that same road man, and I'm about to take a different path.

Very soon. It's fucking hell.

[Wapsie B]

14. Yes it is hell.

It just needs to be done and over with so you can start healing from all of it.

[wildhorses]

34. hell?

:eyes:

[Joe Fields]

35. oops...

:loveya:

soon it will be heaven...

[SeattleGirl]

8. Glad you are finally making a move, bwa.

I hope it goes relatively smoothly.

Now I just need to get up my nerve.

[Wapsie B]

10. Thank you SG.

I was wondering how your situation was going. It's gone about as well as can be expected. I just needed to be a big boy about things and deal with it.

Just so you know, there wasn't a time at all that I wasn't scared or anxious as hell about doing it. But having moved past that I feel like I did the right thing. Listen to your gut instincts. They'll tell you what to do. It's not going to be perfect. It never is. But it needs to be done.

[SeattleGirl]

11. Thanks.

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

12. You're most welcome.

:hug:

[wildhorses]

36. not you too?

i am sorry to hear this. i knew you were having financial problems.

it is just a smilie but, i wish you the best sg :hug:

[wildhorses]

15. dude --

i did not know you were married.

sheesh.

[Wapsie B]

16. dude

it didn't feel right for quite some time.

[wildhorses]

17. for some weird reason

i have been under the impression that you have been living with your parents:crazy:

[Wapsie B]

18. huh?

:shrug:

what gave you that idea?

[wildhorses]

19. i dunno

i thought i saw you said it in a thread somewhere:dunce:

i have obviously confused you with another poster:shrug:

anyway. best of luck. 5 years now since my second one.

[Wapsie B]

20. yeah that had to have been someone else.

i haven't lived with my parents since 1981. thanks. time to recuperate and have some fun. :)

[wildhorses]

21. fun?

weird. i wanted to crawl in a hole and die. of course i feel like that anyway:P

[Wapsie B]

23. well, i still like my solitude,

my peace and quiet. but yeah fun is good too. growing up i walked the straight and narrow. boy did i stumble over that big time. :P

so fun and enjoying myself as much as i can is what i want to do.

[mike_c]

22. I will never forget the IMMENSE feeling of relief...

...when I got the signed papers back from the courthouse. OMG.

Best of luck to you, 'bro.

[Wapsie B]

25. Thanks bro.

It's time to start a new chapter of life. I can't wait.

[RetroLounge]

24. I'm right with you dude...

Filing papers soon. Gotta deal with the bankruptcy first...

RL

[Wapsie B]

26. Yeah I hear ya.

We're trying to prevent the Chapter 13 or 7, whatever we'd be eligble for. I'll know for sure Thursday when we talk to the financial people. I think I'll be able to avoid bankruptcy. But then again, it'll be on my back to keep it all above water. sigh......

[RetroLounge]

28. Yeah, I might be able to avoid it

but after 2 years of emotional shit, I'm just too tired to try...

RL

[Critters2]

27. I remember all of that.

My ex started fighting about things just as the paperwork was being filed and I thought it was all over. It was actually his parents who started fighting--about possessions, etc. Shit like who got the cats (ultimately, I did). The hardest part for me was that he didn't come to court for the hearing. He didn't have to, since I filed. But it would have been a nice gesture, at least giving the impression that it meant something to him.

'Scuse me. I have to go break something. :argh:

[Wapsie B]

29. There's not a lot to fight over

other than who gets to pay the bills. Guess who that might be. :eyes:

[Richard Steele]

30. I have been where you are right now.

You know what pissed me off the most then?
People offering ADVICE. And the ones who
"meant well" were the WORST, because...well, they just were.

I am not you, and I never have been, so I'll
not piss you off like that.

I'll just offer you this: :hug:

I got more where that came from, free for the asking.
Anytime you need one, you just holler, y'hear?

Sincerely,
Richard

[Wapsie B]

31. Thanks man.

:hug:

Everyone's situation is different. I've learned that much. Much of the advice I got was from those who've never even been married. Ya gotta walk a mile in the other man's moccasins and all that..........

[CaliforniaPeggy]

32. My dear bushwentawol...

I am glad for you that this is happening...

But I have to say that seeing the end of something that two people wanted always makes me sad...

It's the death of a dream.....

The death of love as well...

But a man's got to do what a man's got to do...

I hope you will find joy one sweet day...:hug:

[Wapsie B]

33. Thank you Peggy.

:hug:

To me it's the death of one dream but the birth of another. And love? I don't know if I really felt that until recently, not self-love, that's for sure.

[MissHoneychurch]

37. May I say "Congrats"?

from waht I gathered from you, you will not be unhappy about it.

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

39. Yeah congrats sounds great to me.

You should know as well as anyone that it was really getting to me. It's a big weight off my shoulders.

:hug:

[Callalily]

38. Looks like you took

that first step to begin your new life. Just remember, you'll have good days, and you'll have bad days. When the bad days come, remember that your life is now yours, all decisions are now yours. That alone can be a relief.

Take care of yourself and here's some >>>>>>>>>>>>>

[Wapsie B]

40. Yes my life is all mine again.

That really has a great feel to it. Independence is very important to me, especially now. Thank you so much Simply Fugue.

:hug:

[lizziegrace]

44. Onward!

To a happier life.

:pals:

[Wapsie B]

45. Yes, to a much happier life.

I can do happy for a change. Sounds good to me. Thanks lizzie.

:pals:

[Debi]

46. Good luck to you - and here's to smooth sailing through the process

Sometimes the divorce can be as painful as the marriage - for others (ME) it can be a cleansing process and when the final hearing occurs a celebration can be had! :hug:

[Wapsie B]

47. Thank you!

It's a cleansing process to me too. I feel a whole lot better out on my own. I celebrate a little everyday. :)

:hug:

[BarenakedLady]

48. I wish you the best

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

49. Thank you BNL

:hug:

[AwakeAtLast]

50. Here's a hug

:hug:

I have been in your shoes, and I remember those feelings!

For me the best day was at the courthouse when the judge finally made the divorce legal. I felt as if a ten ton weight had been lifted off my shoulders! My Mom said I turned into a totally different person (for the better) from that moment.

There are better days ahead. Here's another hug.

:hug:

[Wapsie B]

51. Thanks WakeMeUp.

I feel the weight lifted already, just having moved out. There is just something toxic to the soul being married to someone with whom you really don't belong. Doesn't have to be an abusive relationship at all to do that to a person. I refuse to be like our parents were, suffering in silence, religious guilt holding them together if it killed them, which it is, and taking this death do us part stuff as literal as anything. My parents had their 50th anniversary a couple years ago. It was all I could do to keep myself from rolling my eyes and shaking my head through the whole thing. For years off and on she told me of times she wished she could just up and leave. But now, her spirit is broken.

:hug: