what do you do with your used freepers?

[Gato Moteado]

the garbage man refuses to take them, even on bulk collection day. even if they're bundled neatly and left on the curb.

the recycle truck won't take them. says they're worthless.

goodwill refused to take them when i tried to donate them. same for salvation army. i said, "hey, look, these are perfectly good freepers. some of them still even have more than three teeth." they said, "sorry, we've got too many used freepers sitting on the shelf collecting dust. nobody's in the market for them."

i tried putting them on ebay. 99 cents and no reserve and free shipping. not a single bid.

so, now they're just lounging around my yard picking their noses and scratching their fetid crotches. they don't work. all they do is eat junk food, smoke cigarettes and drink coor's lite.

what should i do?

[wtmusic]

1. Throw them away

but their arguments can be recycled! :-)

[benburch]

2. Biohazard bags...

You need to bag them in Orange biohazard bags and call a Licensed Special Waste Hauler.

[Richardo]

3. Please do not flush them - or pour them down the storm drains...

Thank you.

[Gato Moteado]

12. hell, i don't even let them swim in the pool.

a couple of them tried to bathe in a nearby lake and left a ring around the beach. it was horrible....we lost a large number of wading birds after that fiasco.

[Dookus]

4. I use 'em as wall insulation

[benburch]

7. Don't you need to shred them first?

I mean to get them into the wall?

[Dookus]

yes, of course...

any decent wood-chipper works fine.

[Gato Moteado]

11. i'd be afraid to do that.....

....with all the alcohol and tobacco they consume, i would think they'd pose a fire hazard.

[beawr]

5. Pave my Driveway

[thebaghwan]

6. I run them through my big lawn shredder and I bag the results and use

it for chum when I am shark fishing. You know like in Jaws when the sheriff first sees the shark. Works real good, got a 440 pound Mako shark on one (maybe it was two) of them last year.

[Skittles]

8. THEY MAKE GREAT FERTILIZER

YES INDEED.

[RoeBear]

26. But would you...

...want to eat anything that was grown in it?

[Skittles]

38. HELL F***ING NO

but Tombo raised eight foot sunflowers with freeper fertilzer.

[WoodrowFan]

9. Two Words: Salt Domes

I hear there is a plan on storing them in salt domes out west somewhere. Hey, so long as it's not in MY neighborhood!

[RoeBear]

10. This is funny...

...keep em coming.

[Cannikin]

13. Feed them breakfast, promise them I wont tell anybody about it..

Tell them I had a lovely evening and send them home.

[POed_Ex_Repub]

14. I read the label on the back of one and it said...

Keep away from voting booths - Subject tends to act irrationally

Use gloves when handling - You don't want to get any on you. (ick)

Add dirt - Brains have been washed enough already...

oh wait.. you wanted disposal methods... Here it is...

Vote Dem in 2004, kick out the shrub - it doesn't dispose of them really, but it does make them more manageable. :D

[Gato Moteado]

15. i hope the next president will do something about the problem

maybe he'll expand the institution at guantanamo bay so we can start exporting them there for storage.

[Wickerman]

16. Save them up for the annual Hazardous Waste Disposal Day

They take them, though begrudgeonly. Last year my local landfill wouldn't take them - all full up - I had to drive over to Loonie Valley, 40 minutes away - they took them willingly. go figure. I'll get to the landfill earlier this year.

[trof]

17. They make good potholders,

quilting squares (not for baby's crib, though),
doorstops
boat anchors
fishing sinkers (in small pieces)
anvils
wedges (for splitting wood)
not bad firewood (but in well ventilated rooms and DO NOT cook with them)
artificial fishing reefs
bowling balls (hard enough, but kind of light)
retaining walls
paving (they must be ground up and then tamped down with a roller)
Gee, the list is endless.

[Skittles]

40. ROTF

artificial fishing reefs!

[Birthmark]

18. Take their doors off and leave them in the alley.

eom

[never cry wolf]

19. Yucca Mountain

That's what it's for, in the state of legal gambling and prostitution.

[Gato Moteado]

20. transporting freepers over state lines...

...can get you jail time these days. nu-kya-ler waste is one thing, but most states don't want to deal with the environmental hazards of discarded freepers.

[never cry wolf]

23. Shhhhhhhh.....

Maybe I shouldn't have posted this. Think the G is watching??

(:hi: hiya FB, made it back to TX from windy, I see.)

[Gato Moteado]

24. oh yeah.....

.....i made it back after a boring 19 hour drive.

the weather is better here, but i can't get a real italian beef sandwich.

[never cry wolf]

25. Sure ya can...

http://www.deepdishpizza.com/priority.html

Chicago dogs, Eli's cheesecake and Malnatti's pizza too!!

No freeper meat in Vienna dogs!!

Trade ya for the weather.

[Bundbuster]

21. get your speakers to the windows

and play Madonna & Dixie Chicks CD's - they'll go away quickly.

[GregW]

22. Just wrap them up in toilet paper ...

... and discreetly place in the bin next to the toilet.

DO NOT FLUSH USED FREEPERS!

[proud patriot]

27. Stonewash them, put them through the ringer, string 'em up to Dry

and use them all over again :D

[Sapphocrat]

28. I've heard...

...that they're commonly ground up, mixed with wood chips, rehydrated into pellets, and sold to the U.S. beef industry as feed.

Sadly, USDA regulations on downer freeps are vague...

[Limbought]

29. Wipe my ass ......

then flush them.

[Kathy in Cambridge]

30. Grind them up and use as cat litter-you can even flush them!

[yellowdog]

42. I tried that but when the cat got done,

I couldn't tell what to scoop. It all looked the same.

[Piperay]

31. Diapers

perhaps, since they are so full of sh*t anyway. :evilgrin:

[guitar man]

32. Chew toys

They make great chew toys for my Pit Bull. A little duct tape over the mouth and they don't make so much noise while they are being gnawed on :)

[greatauntoftriplets]

33. Call the cops?

:shrug:

[name not needed]

34. I cover them in lime

Put them in garbage bags and throw em in the woods. Then I go back to Walmart and get more.

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. I just tell 'em that Shrub is over in the next county signing beer bellies

and pitchin' baseballs and leading prayers.

They fall for it every time. Many have heart attacks running away, but the animals clean 'em up; some give up, and are simply never heard from again; and the ones that brag about how tough and protective of their wives they are, I like to run up and surprise 'em with a baseball bat until their pants are sufficiently shat in. Then I laugh, and watch them run run run.

[GOPisEvil]

36. Heck...Crawford's only a couple hours away from flush_bush's house!!

Great idea! :think:

[CO Liberal]

37. 3 or 4 Freepers Can Reshingle Your Roof

If you slice them thin enough.

:-)

[Gato Moteado]

39. ok, i was able to offload a bunch of them tonight....

...i loaded up a truckload of them and brought them to the nearest army enlistment office. i told them to follow me into the office and the nice men in uniforms would take them to a tractor pull. i left them with some recruiter there who assured me they would be deloused and sent to the front lines in iraq.

i had a couple left in the truck so i told them i was dropping them off at a nascar meet and instead took them to nasa where they will be used to man practice flights to mars.

there are still a few in my yard that i couldn't locate. i think they buried themselves in some spider holes. i'll smoke 'em out tomorrow and figure out what to do with them.

[brook]

41. I've had some luck...

selling them to the local bowling alley for 'practise' pins.
'Course, I had to unload a few that didn't have the required mid-girth at the Skeet Club. Those ones have a natural sorta spin, don'tcha know?

[mindless]

43. Maybe You should talk and debate with them.

It is embarassing when someone in the Democratic Party slums to calling names as you have. I work with and have family members who lean right but are intelligent and can offer an intelligent defense.

I made the mistake of letting one know about DU and they use the these kinda threads to show that we arent what we claim we are.

You are what Martin Luther King was fighting against. People who make unthought out responses!!!!!!!

I will not stay around for your response cause you are a prejudice and can not be taken seriously.

I am afraid the real question now is. With dems eating dems, can we even be taken seriously?

[Gato Moteado]

48. um, no.....you have it all wrong

let me remind you that it was freeper types (i.e. radical right wingers) that killed MLK. in fact, it has been freeper types that have killed all the great leaders of the left: JFK, RFK, MLK. hell, it was freeper types that even killed Jesus.

the radical right is garbage. freepers are part of the radical right, therefore they are garbage.

if your rightwing friends don't like DU, then tell them to go back to rush, hannity and o'reilly and the rest of the propogandists and corporate whores. we really don't care what freepers like or dislike.

freepers aren't only unamerican, they're downright evil.

[Rabrrrrrr]

50. Don't mince words, flush_bush

Tell us what you REALLY mean. :-)

I agree with you on most everything, though I might not be willing to call them evil.

But otherwise, right on - the right is the group that assassinates those they fear; the left does not.

Do freepers ever have to worry about being beat up by in a parking lot for their political beliefs, or getting shot by the police at a rally, or having anyone try to keep them from voting, have their leaders assassinated, or lose privilege to fly on airplanes? No, of course they don't. Because they're the only ones who do it. And we're the ones they do it to. Including Jesus. Does Bill O'Reilly have to worry about being shoved or possibly beat up or maybe even shot when he does a book signing? No. But if I were Will Pitt, or Al Franken, the possibility would always be on my mind.

If the freepers and the far right were just idiots, it would be okay. But alas, they're idiots who think they also have the right to exercise authority over life. And that does indeed make them dangerous, and, at least some of them, evil.

[catzies]

51. Welcome to DU, mindless, and to the Lounge in particular.

This thread is not meant to be intended as anything but humor and as such it is in its proper place on DU in the Lounge, where no one construes it to be anything serious, or representative of the discourse on DU as a whole.

[centrist]

44. Tell your parents to go to bed.

LOL

[Gato Moteado]

54. huh?

hopefully your 7th post will explain the insult that was your 6th post.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

45. Fish food

Check your local aquarium to donate them.

[ornotna]

46. Use them as door mats

and when they get dirty I take them out back to the clothes line and beat them senseless.
What am I saying. They're already senseless.

[Thor_MN]

47. Launch them into a decaying orbit of the sun.

Of course you'd have to worry about an excursion from plan on the launch, but it's the only way to be truely rid of them. Bury them in Yucca Mountain and you will have a chain reaction that just breeds more waste. Once they get high enough, even if they don't make escape velocity, they will burn up on re-entry.

I think there was a secret launch during the 70's that went bad. The freeps on board were spread all over Florida.

[ScreamingMeemie]

49. I sent some of mine to live on the other side of Woodward.

Happy days reign here again. Although they still like to email from time to time...

[EV1Ltimm]

52. dress em up in black unitards...

and call them german interpretive dance.

charge admission too.

:)

[Rabrrrrrr]

53. ROTFL!!!

That is HILARIOUS!

[myrna minx]

56. Ha!

I now have tea on my monitor.

[Gato Moteado]

57. excellent!

best suggestion yet!

[ElsewheresDaughter]

55. i flush mine (city)...but don't do this if you have a ceptic system..rural

opps never mind ...i thought you said "used tampons"