My #$*%%$ Repuke brother-in-law

[tinnyguy1777]

keeps sending me stupid anti Democrat, anti Gore, anti Clinton, anti Hilary jokes, comments, etc. and I'm fed up with him. What I need is some ammuntion, from you good people, to use to retaliate. Any help will be greatly appreciated. He's really starting to piss me off!!!!!!!

[ComerPerro]

1. Post the emails

I love reading that shit

[Parrcrow]

2. go here

www.toostupidtobepresident.com

lots of good stuff there

[Liberal Christian]

3. Don't snipe back

Instead, take the comments in each one seriously, then find non-ranting refutation of all the baseless allegations. Do a "you said, but here's the truth" thing. Instead of rising to his bait, engage him as a serious dialogue partner.

Take the higher ground. It'll be more work, but it may educate and you'll have a satisfaction that lasts longer than scoring retaliation points ever will.

[Deja Q]

12. I concur!

If the repuke keeps acting like a brainless dork (being a * follower, that's only to be expected) then it's time for something more "fun"...

[jonoboy]

15. this is good and it worked for me

I had a friend who did similar very unfunny jokes which I counterd back with facts and eventually they petered out ( didn't want to hear the truth ?)..and now he never mentions politics to me which is a relief

[rfranklin]

4. Tell him that Gore, Bill and Hillary are yesterday's news...

And send him a few photos of Bush side by side with chimpanzees (and don't tell PETA because it's cruelty to animals.)

[brainwashed_youth]

6. and send him micahel moore stuff

preferably, "Dude, Where's My Country"

[Kamika]

5. He won't read your comments anyway

Just ignore him.. trust me.


If you try it you'll just go crazy

[Old and In the Way]

7. This is a good "back atcha"

This was posted by another DUer....I think it sums it up nicely. Not particularly funny, but true.

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:


Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George W. Bush's driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what G.W. Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

[lovedems]

8. You left out the funniest part, though it might be "unacceptable" to send

to a true right winger.

BONUS! LATE BREAKING NEWS!

The GOP National Committee announced today that it is changing the Republican emblem from an elephant to a condom because it more clearly reflects the party's political stance: A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.

And, furthermore: It was reported today that at a White House staff meeting last week there was a heated discussion about the health of Vice President Cheney and his angina problem. President Bush interrupted and stated emphatically that men do not have anginas. The president was especially perplexed when a staffer said that Cheney has acute angina.


Then try this:

I attacked and took over two countries.
I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the US
Treasury.

I shattered the record for the biggest annual
deficit in history (not easy!).
I set an economic record for the most personal
bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.

I set all-time record for the biggest drop in the
history of the stock market.

I am the first president in decades to execute a
federal prisoner.

In my first year in office I set the all-time
record for most days on vacation by any president in
US history (tough to beat my dad's record, but I did).

After taking the entire month of August off for
vacation, I presided over the worst security failure
in US history.

I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips
by any president in US history.

In my first two years in office over 2 million
Americans lost their jobs.

I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work
Americans than any other president in US history.

I set the all-time record for most real estate
foreclosures in a 12-month period.

I appointed more convicted criminals to
administration positions than any president in US
history.

I set the record for the fewest press conferences
of any president, since the advent of TV.

I signed more laws and executive orders amending
the Constitution than any other US president in
history.

I presided over the biggest energy crises in US
history and refused to intervene when corruption was
revealed.

I cut health care benefits for war veterans.

I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15
million people), shattering the record for protest
against any person in the history of mankind.

I dissolved more international treaties than any
president in US history.

I've made my presidency the most secretive and
unaccountable of any in US history.

Members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration in US history. (The poorest
multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil
tanker named after her.)

I am the first president in US history to have
all 50 states of the Union simultaneously struggle
against bankruptcy.

I presided over the biggest corporate stock market
fraud in any market in any country in the history of
the world.

I am the first president in US history to order a
US attack AND military occupation of a sovereign
nation, and I did so against the will of the
United Nations and the vast majority of the
international community.

I have created the largest government department
bureaucracy in the history of the United States,
called the "Bureau of Homeland Security"(only one
letter away from BS).

I set the all-time record for biggest annual
budget spending increases, more than any other
president in US history (Reagan was tough to beat, but
I did it!!).

I am the first president in US history to compel
the United Nations remove the US from the Human Rights
Commission.

I am the first president in US history to have
the United Nations remove the US from the Elections
Monitoring Board.

I removed more checks and balances, and have the
least amount of congressional oversight than any
presidential administration in US history.

I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.

I withdrew from the World Court of Law.

I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners
of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva
Conventions.

I am the first president in US history to refuse
United Nations election inspectors access during the
2002 US elections.

I am the all-time US (and world) record holder
for most corporate campaign donations.
The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign,
who is also one of my best friends, presided over one
of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in
world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron
Corporation).

I spent more money on polls and focus groups than
any president in US history.

I took the world's sympathy for the US after 9/11, and
in less than a year made the US the most resented
country in the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic
failure in US and world history).

I am the first US president in history to have a
majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my
presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.

I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals
to be awarded government contracts.

I set the all-time record for the number of
administration appointees who violated US law by not
selling their huge investments in corporations bidding
for gov't contracts.

I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties
for Americans than any other president in US history.

I entered office with the strongest economy in US
history and in less than two years turned every single
economic category heading straight down.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES: I have at least one
conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available).

I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the
military during time of war.

I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any
questions about drug use.

All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have
been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All records of any SEC investigations into my
insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public view.

All minutes of meetings of any public corporation
for which I served on the board are sealed in secrecy
and unavailable for public view.

Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP)
attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in
secrecy and unavailable for public review.

[Redleg]

9. Excellent find! Funny but oh so true.

Thanks

[catmandu57]

10. You got one of those also?

I do the best I can just to avoid mine, it pisses the wife off, but, I'm just keeping peace. I can't add anything that Old and love didn't say, but you have my sympathy.

[ronnykmarshall]

11. Block his e-mail

If that's the only reason he e-mails you, block him.

Luckly most of my rw relatives now better than to send that crap to me.

[tinnyguy1777]

13. Thanks to all for the feedback------

I'll put it to good use

[SammyWinstonJack]

14. Why not just delete it?

I would. I wouldn't take the time to even read it.