and they say teenage girls are bad! sheesh!

[Ava]

i have this guy who i am fairly certain likes me. why? he stares at me the whole time i'm around him. is around me whenever possible, and he acts nervous and makes silly small talk whenever he tries talking to me. now - he's been doing this for weeks now and i see him several times every week - yet the guy hasn't asked me out or asked to "hang out." it could be possible that i'm just misreading this but i could swear he likes me. agh! what do the DU lounge people think? :shrug:

[mzteris]

1. sounds like "like" to me.

Have you thought about making the first move?

An innocuous - what are you doing Saturday. Or "have you seen that new movie?" or something like that.

[Ava]

4. yeah but girls aren't supposed to make the first move

:rofl: and i have a fear of rejection like most people

[Adsos Letter]

8. Not True!!!...well, in another time, maybe...

My oldest daughter almost always did the asking, it was just her way. Nothing wrong with it...gather up thy courage and proceed. Sounds to me like he likes you. :D

[Ava]

10. i think he does - but i'm not sure

and god would that be embarrassing :rofl:

[Adsos Letter]

13. Well, lets put it this way...

and I'm PRAYING it doesn't sound misogynistic. (talk about embarrassing!) but;

You're intelligent (based on your posts)

You have an excellent sense of humor (based on your posts)

You're physically attractive (based on your pictures)

You like Jones Grape Soda

What guy could have a problem with that? :shrug:

:D

[Ava]

17. lol

well intelligence and wit don't seem to be the primary "crush factors" among teens - and while i don't think myself horrible looking i don't consider myself very "physically attractive" compared to other teens and of course those we see on TV(which sucks and is unfair for us gals).

[Adsos Letter]

22. Lots of teens view themselves

as less physically attractive than they actually are...trust an old guy on this one; I've raised to daughters, one is now 26 and the other is 17. BOTH of them went through periods where they felt very insecure about their physical attractiveness ( I know, I know...it isn't the most important thing, but it is very much a part of being human). Both of them were/are very attractive.

As far as physical attractiveness goes: trust me, you are being hard on yourself where you shouldn't be. You are "easy on the eyes" as my generation used to say.

As far as the rest of it...see my earlier post. You have everything going for you, and fear of rejection is a commonly shared human trait.

If you can arrange for a group get-together, all the better; it will give you a chance to become more comfortable around each other and that will bolster your courage.

If not...ask him. You got nuthin' ta lose, girl, and I'd wager serious money he won't turn you down.

And you like Jones soda...try the "Green Apple"...or drink that Grape...its gotta' be gettin' warm by now.

:D

[Tyrone Slothrop]

38. That's precisely why he's not asking

Men are shy and fearful of rejection too.

[mzteris]

35. it's not really the first move -

just conversation where you're giving him an encouraging opening.

Example:

You: Hey.

Him: Hey.

You: Boy I'm glad we're almost out for summer.

Him: Yeah. ('cause boys usually speak in monosyllables.)

You: Do you have any plans?

Him: Um . . . uh . . . ah . . .

You: Are you going to camp or anything? (You could interject a brief, we're going to the beach, or I'm going to lay by the pool, or I'm just gonna veg all summer comment. I'd leave out the interviews with CNN, the BBC, and Al Jazeerah etc. lol)

Him: uh - I dunno - I uh - maybe - uh might be going to - like - you know - uh the beach. or something.

You: Hey - have you seen that XYZ movie? (or are you going to concert, dance, picnic, ballgame... whatever is coming up local.) LONG PAUSE....

Him: No, um - you?

You: No. I was thinking about going - Friday (or this weekend or Tuesday or whenever). LONG PAUSE....

Him: Yeah. Uh - me, too.

You: Really? When were you planning to go? LONG PAUSE..... (Sometimes you have to walk 'em all the way up to it... it could - and probably should - go smoother than this long one, but maybe he's REALLY shy.)

Him: Uh - Friday - uh I guess.

You: Hey - that's when I was thinking of going. (LONG PAUSE.)


If he hasn't figured it out by now, he might not be bright enough for you, chica! :)

[Kali]

40. ...

:rofl:


Ava I am totally NOT laughing at your situation, its just so HUMAN, you know? and mzteris could write a screen play.:rofl:

[mzteris]

42. thanks - but I have to confess -

I have a 13 yo son - so I know how it goes. :P

[Inchworm]

43. That was so real

well put!

:D

[Kali]

2. do you like him? do you want to go out with him? then ASK him, girl!

[Ava]

5. he's sweet and cute so of course i like him

but like i said i'm waaay to scared of rejection, lol.

[NewJeffCT]

3. you can't ask him?

guys are shy sometimes about taking that first step... it honestly would have changed my life if a girl had actually asked me to even hang out while I was a teenager.

[Ava]

6. well gals are shy too

and i honestly don't have the guts to ask someone out. i can own up to my shyness, lol.

[Richard Steele]

7. As someone who used to be a teenage guy, I can tell you...

...that it can be hard to work up the nerve to ask ANY girl out.
The fear of REJECTION can be much stronger than the fear of
being dateless.

Now, if that particular girl was smart, cute, and kinda world-famous...
no way in hell I'd ever have had the courage to ask. Not back then
in my teens, no ma'am!

[Ava]

11. lol - well i'm betting he actually has no idea who i am

he probably doesn't know about my vids and such(which might be a good thing, lol).

still - like you talked about - i'm am afraid of rejection.

[fizzgig]

9. do you guys have mutual friends?

do a movie night or something. you've said you're afraid of rejection (i can relate) but get a group of friends together for a movie or something and invite him along. i've found it helps if it's a group thing and not a one-on-one thing at first

[Ava]

12. we don't have mutual friends that i know of

:shrug:

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

18. Heh, you beat me to it.

That was what I figured.

[Haole Girl]

14. Sounds like he likes you

It's very difficult for young men...very difficult. If you can, maybe you can help him a litle by "breaking the ice." That is, if you want to.

Good luck!

[Ava]

19. how do i do that without embarrassing myself?

teenagehood sucks :rofl:

[Haole Girl]

25. Just talk with him some...

..I know, I know, easier said than done. But, you are brave-- you can do it!

Ava, trust me on this one...you don't want to have regrets later in life about these things.

:hug:

[Kali]

15. ok here is the deal. You aren't going out because you are both too shy.

So even if you get rejected what does that give you? Not going out. So you really have nothing to lose. Besides he isn't going to say no. Trust me.

Do what mzteris said above and just ask if he has seen some movie then suggest meeting to see it or another one. Movie is good if you want to avoid having to talk too much (ha ha) or maybe there is some other community activity (protests?) going on that you could "talk" about and decide to meet at...



fixed mzteris, I was way off

[Ava]

20. i have my pride to lose

:rofl: i keed! i keed!

seriously - it's just that fear of rejection and embarrassment.

[TheFriendlyAnarchist]

16. He likes you. I know becuase that's how I act.

Some of us are just shy, or we are trying to figure out if the feelings are reciprocated. If he's anything like me, he's prolly waiting for you to make a move to indicate that you like him. My advice is to get a group of people together to go see a movie and ask if he wants to come. That should be enough to get him to open up more.

[Ava]

21. i would do that

but whenever i'm around him there are always lots of other folks around also. he's also not very talky with me which means i have to start the conversation. :rofl:

[marzipanni]

30. There is nothing wrong with starting the conversation

People love to hear their own name (unless they don't like their name ;)) and most people would love to have some interest shown in them. So ask him if he's going anywhere this summer, what movies he's seen lately, or anything you'd like to know about him. If he doesn't say much you can tell him what you'll be doing this summer or what movie you've liked recently. If you just act disengaged your getting to know him better may not get in gear!

[liontamer]

23. i'll preface my advice with the caveat that i'm often told I'm intimidating

but, next time you're kind of alone and he's doing the stupid nervous thing, just say, "if you want to ask me out, just go ahead and do it.I think you're cool, so I'll say ok"

This pretty much eliminates any fear, and still has him technically making the first move :eyes:
If he says he's not interested you can save face by saying, "well quit being so weird, you were starting to make me uncomfortable"

All you've given up is that he's acting oddly, and that you like and respect him, and would give him a chance if he were interested.

caveat #2: I'm way too old to still be dating like a teenager, but I live in a city full of immature people so my loss is your gain :)

[Ava]

28. well you are a much more brave person that I

i don't think i could bring myself to be that straight forward :rofl:

[Wetzelbill]

33. if there was a "Cowering In Your Almighty Glory" smiley

I'd be using it right now. :P

[nickgutierrez]

24. If you're interested, ask him.

It really doesn't sound like you're misreading the situation at all - he's probably just too shy to do it himself.

[Oeditpus Rex]

26. You aren't misreading

Guys don't act like that because they want to copy your homework. He likes you; trust me.

Now — what you gotta remember is, you are WOMAN, ergo, you can have him in your complete and utter control. You can reduce him to a small puddle of quivering protoplasm with as little as a smile or a well-orchestrated stretch.

YOU ARE STRONG. HE IS WEAK.

This is as Dog intended.

Now, go and destroy him, and then report back here.

Dismissed.

:patriot:

[Ava]

27. bwa ha ha ha ha

:rofl:

by far the best post on this thread :spray:

[Wetzelbill]

32. nothing like the brutal truth

and oh did you hit that one on the head. :rofl:

I don't know why I'm lauging... I'm typically THAT guy. :rofl:

[Whoa_Nelly]

29. Have a cook out at your place

Invite 8-10 freinds, and make sure he is among the invitees. Play some Frisbee, get a tug-o-war going, throw some horseshoes...PLAY!

[Wetzelbill]

31. sounds like he subscribes to the Wetzelbill method of dating

It's called being "Charmingly Inept." Somehow he manages to be charming and all, but he's nervous and shy and scared to ask you out, so much so that he may never get around to it. I am the master at this. Best thing for you to do, is to ask him to hang out. Something that could be both platonic or a date. Like a movie or something. Or hanging out with a group of friends. If the comfort level and the chemistry is there and you're sure he likes you, then make a more obvious move to an actual date.

Now, you say you have some shyness too. Well, I may be one to talk, but we all fear rejection to an extent. However, if you like this guy definitely give it a shot. You don't want any regrets. I have regrets, and let me tell you what, I would have rather been brutally shot down than to not ever know. It's way worse to let it pass by. Why? Well, for some reason, even if you get turned down, at least you know, and you can pretty much move on from that. If you wait and wait, inevitably nothing will come to pass or somebody else will come in the picture and any number of things that make it all worse.

[AllegroRondo]

34. rule one - guys are stupid

especially teenage guys. we dont do subtlety, or hints, or anything close to that. if you dont hit him over the head, he wont know.

my wife asked me out on our first date. She basically said "You're cute, I like you, we're going out Saturday. Pick me up at 6." Sometimes thats what it takes.

[Beer Snob-50]

44. rule two- hit him over the head with a shovel

at the beach last summer, this very cute girl was hitting on my 17 yo son. she followed him around and tried to get him to do whatever she was doing. he was oblivous. i finally called him over and told him what she was doing. he sheepishly smiled and spent the rest of the day with her. they now im each other on a regular basis. but he is basically clueless.

[Gen. Jack D. Ripper]

36. I do the same thing, he's probably just a very shy fella

If he's like me, he's nervous and intimidated by women he's attracted to. I don't know the guy, but I'm guessing he wants to ask you out, but he may never actually do it. That's the thing about the shy types, we can be hard to read and not nearly as assertive as we should be. I know it sounds odd, but for guys like your friend, even something as simple as asking a girl out on a date can be easier said than done.

[billyskank]

37. Speaking from personal experience

He might be too shy to ask you. I have always had the same trouble. He may never have asked a girl before.

Do you like him? If so, why not make the first move yourself?

:hi:

[kmla]

39. How do you know he likes you? Did he throw a rock at you?

Doh! Sorry - wrong age group. 8 year old boys throw rocks at girls that aren't icky.

IIRC, teenage boys act all stammerry and idle-chatterish around girls that they like. But as a former teenage boy (a long, long time ago), they are genetically predisposed to be too chicken to ask a cute girl out. You should ask him out in a sly, non-date kind of way. Don't let him know that he is on a date until he is halfway through it....

"Hey, I'm going to go see (insert movie, art gallery, or other mutual interest here) Friday. I'm kinda busy, so I'll probably go to the 8:00 show. You should meet me there - it sounds like fun!" And if he doesn't show up, at least you will get to see something interesting and fun.

What's the worst that could happen? They can't take away your birthday...:)

[billyskank]

41. 'Ello Sue

do you like...

...bread?

I've got a french stick!

*wham!*

love you...

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

45. He for sure digs you

What place do you have in common? Where do you bump into him several times a week?

Use that in your strategy to show your strength and destroy. :)

:hi: