Why am I so negative all the time?

[alarimer]

I mean I guess I am naturally a pessimist but no matter what happens, I always imagine the worst. Sometimes I am right but more often I am not. For example, there is another job opening up in my office. I will apply for it but I am almost certain I won't get it because I have applied for numerous positions and never gotten them since I have worked for my employer. Last time I never even got an interview. So now I can't even picture myself getting the job. I can't afford to get my hopes up. It just hurts too much. I want this job so much but I have a feeling my employer does not value me at all.

I have always been this way. In fact, sunny people drive me up the wall. I want to smack them. Seriously.

[SPKrazy]

1. You crack me up though

not being a total optimist myself, i can recognize that sentiment of wanting to smack the crap out of "sunny" people, pollyannas they are.

I will wish you luck, and send good vibes to you for the job. I don't wanna overwhelm you with the notion of "sunnyness" though, 'cause that ain't me by a long shot!

:D

:pals:

[alarimer]

3. Somebody actually told me to do the Stuart Smalley thing

You know the one. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me!"

I just had to laugh, although they were serious.

Thanks for the good luck wishes. I just need to focus and do the best I can and not worry too much about it.

[SPKrazy]

5. Stuart Smalley

:rofl:

yeah, from what I can tell from the things you've said, you are more than bright enough for the job, and probably easily qualified educationally and experientially.

So do the best you can, and that's all you can do! :pals:

doggone it, people like me!

:D

[Shine]

2. You'd probably hate me then.

:D

I'm the Eternal Optimist. :hi:

[alarimer]

4. That depends. Do you whistle?

Those are the worst. LOL.

[Shine]

7. I'm not quite THAT bad.

:rofl: but I have been known to break into song occasionally....

[Adsos Letter]

6. Well, I feel yer pain

I have tended to be pretty pessimistic throughout life, with scattered bouts of optimism. I think most people are either predominantly optimistic or pessimistic, with extremes in both categories. It just seems to be a personality trait.

Do you exercise (aerobic) regularly? I have found that it helps with mood.

Do you tend to run a negative "inner dialogue" about yourself? (the therapists sometimes call 'em "tapes") There is cognitive training which can be done to modify it.

There is an excellent workbook which did me some good. It's called "The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne, PhD.
It's primary focus is stated in the title, but it has some very good, practical and workable stuff for negative thinking. :thumbsup:

*snip*

Posted by alarimer
I mean I guess I am naturally a pessimist but no matter what happens, I always imagine the worst. Sometimes I am right but more often I am not.

*snip*

Sometimes, when I get really down about things, I try to remember what Mark Twain said on the subject regarding his personal life (and here I paraphrase):

"My life has been one long series of disasters, most of which failed to occur."

A degree of pessimism isn't necessarily a bad thing.

The fact that your employer keeps you employed is, in and of itself, evidence that he values you; otherwise, he wouldn't keep you.
Get your resume together and see what else is available. Don't sell yourself short. People switch jobs and do better all the time. Your potential is no different. :thumbsup:

[Adsos Letter]

8. Well...I hope mine doesn't come across as the

Stuart Smalley "thing"...my periods of pessimism have made me non-functional in the past, so....just trying to help :blush:

[alarimer]

16. No it didn't

Somebody literally told me to look in a mirror and do just that- the daily affirmation. I guess you have to believe in it for it to work. I just find it a little too absurd.

[alarimer]

15. Exercise does help

I find that after three miles on a treadmill, whatever I was worried about is gone.

I do have that inner dialogue too. Mostly negative I suppose. In some ways I guess I am my own worst enemy. Too hard on myself by far. especially when I do something stupid but minor, like scratch the car or something.

[MilesColtrane]

9. I'm the same as you.

However, in my case, it was from an early age.

When I was four years old the Winnie the Pooh character I most identified with was Eeyore.

Some people are born pessimistic and some have pessimism thrust upon them.

I prefer to think of my estimation of the world, the way it works, and the people who live on it, as realistic.

I look at it this way: I'm never disappointed, and I'm occasionally happily surprised.

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

10. Why aren't you POSITIVE all the time?

:evilgrin:

[NMDemDist2]

11. if you focus on the problem the problem gets bigger

if you focus on the solution, the solution gets bigger

it's hard and takes a lot of mental discipline, but you can turn it around. force yourself to find positives in every situation, then keep your focus there as much as you can

it takes at least 90 days to change a habit, so stick with it til Labor Day and see if things have improved.

if not, I will cheerfully refund your misery :hi:

[idgiehkt]

12. probably a defense mechanism

awareness is the first step. :hug:

[KG]

13. i've found that in being pessimistic, i'm very rarely disappointed

:hi:

[alarimer]

14. That's it exactly

Maybe by now I am just too wary of everything.

[BarenakedLady]

17. Yup

You sound like me.

Defense mechanism.

[regularguy]

18. Pick up a few books by Alan Watts, then

set them on fire. You'll feel much better.