“I know you’re there, Mr. Ninja." a message from the Lackawanna County Ninja Preparedness Council

[underpants]

Things to remember:

Be alert. Everybody loves a lert. (Ziggy joke)


Check ceilings first, when doing your safety inspections, that’s where they like to ‘hang’.


The best defense against a ‘shuriken’ or throwing star is a good offense. Also, armor.


You will never beat a ninja at a sword fight, one on one. When the Ninja draws his sword, fire your taser ™. A well placed taser ™ will take out even the most deadly of ninjas.


Show them that you know they’re there. Shout out, when entering a new locale or a suspicious locale, “I know you’re there, Mr. Ninja. Your element of surprise has now been taken away”


But most importantly, remember that a Ninja is only trying to kill you if someone has hired that ninja to do so. So for every ass-kicking Ninja trying to take someone out there is some alienated girlfriend, some enemy rival at the workplace or some Japanese feudal lord who has paid that Ninja to kill. Or worse.


I hope this web log has made your spring a more beautiful and restful time. That was the author’s intent. Also, fear.


Dwight Kurt Schrute, Assistant Regional manager, Dunder-Mifflin Paper
Chairman and Founder, Lackawanna County Ninja Preparedness Council


http://blog.nbc.com/DwightsBlog/

[NightWatcher]

1. where was this last week when I was attacked by ninjas?

I used the ol "play dead when they try to choke you" routine and they left, but I forgot to check the ceilings for "hangers on".

[underpants]

2. www.creedthoughts.gov. www/creedthoughts

http://blog.nbc.com/CreedThoughts/2007/05/13-week/