I just had a generic freeper encounter

[jpgray]

I was in a progressive-acceptable location, filled to bursting (as is my wont) with ready wit and unshakable extemporaneous wisdom, when suddenly a generic freeper appeared. The physicality of this creature was evocative of countless conservative stereotypes—a white trash complacent working class traitor who was a wealthy old-money suburbanite rural middle-aged overweight male. He was balding perhaps, wearing a t-shirt that read: “Iraqi Freedom Isn’t Free Trade Enlistees for Oil Executive.” He proceeded to engage in behavior pursuant to his cliched freeper leanings—behavior that passes description. I would embellish it for you all, but amazingly the behavior lined up expertly with the most unfavorable embellishments.

Luckily I was there. All eyes turned to me. They knew as I did this monstrous creature of ultimate evil was practically invincible--only a paradoxical combination of pithy one-liners and longwinded fact-spewing verbosity had a chance of stopping him. Happily I am never at a loss for words, anxious about making a public scene, or without my library of references, arranged by topic in color-coded binders. With remarkable audacity, I confronted the perilous peripatetic and vanquished him with down-home wit and uptown didactic pedantry. He wept openly as I crushed his political beliefs like an old pretzel. As he wiped his eyes, he registered for the Democratic Party on one of the voter registration forms I keep in low-slung holsters at all times. I was chaired through the city that day as a conquering progressive hero.

[asthmaticeog]

1. Mine's more succinct.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_mesg&forum=105&topic_id=3861905&mesg_id=3861905

Though I'm impressed by how much more territory you've covered. Yes, I do believe I've been bested, yet again, by the estimable jpgray. :applause:

[jpgray]

3. Aw, that makes me miss StopTheMorans

:(

[Midlodemocrat]

4. I miss that guy, too.

He was so damned funny.

[asthmaticeog]

5. Nice post, Bono.

[Hugin]

2. I for one will call on you to deal with any future generic freeper encounters...

to which I'm a party.

[EstimatedProphet]

6. Hey! I know that guy! He still owes me $50!

[DS1]

7. I find myself engaged in generic and cliched amounts of chortling sometimes

described in shorthand as ell oh ell

[terrya]

8. That's an inspiring story.

Thank you for teaching a lesson to generic, stereotypical freepers everywhere.

:thumbsup:

[Neoma]

9. Inspiring.

But I am doubtful that I could be like that, alas, the words escape me.

[RandomKoolzip]

10. "Iraqi Freedom Isn't Free Trade Enlistees for Oil Executive"

Add a few articles and a conjunction or two and that'd make a spiffy li'l bumper sticker, if one were so inclined to make one's own bumper stickers.